Posts Tagged ‘Discipline’

Have We Become Voyeurs

October 28, 2015

One of my Spiritual Disciplines is fasting–fasting from TV news, that is.

No, I’m not a flaming conservative who thinks all the media has a liberal bias. Nor do I think about whether there is a conservative bias. TV news has a distinct sensationalism bias.

It’s all about how each network can get the largest number of people to watch for a long enough period of time to serve up plenty of advertisements. Don’t kid yourselves. You get sucked in to your news source of choice because they have figured out ways to get you to watch. This is simply a business model.

We fall for it.

The TV in front of me the other day while I was running on the treadmill showed off some so-called “expert” speculating about the motives or mental health of someone who injured and killed a number of people with her out-of-control car.

What good was that speculation? There was no fact discussed. Merely opinion. And not even informed opinion. Just the fantasy of speculation about someone they don’t know and really don’t care about. And a million people watched it. I even read the closed caption for about a minute to see what was up.

This is what you get when someone thinks that showing news 24-hours-per-day is a good thing. They quickly discovered that filling all that time with valuable information was either too costly or too boring. They have to hook you and reel you in. Not enough viewers means not enough advertising which means not enough revenue.

But people watch. And not just in North America. It’s a human trait.

Why do we get so wrapped up in idle gossip and speculation about others when there is so much of ourselves that we need to pay attention to? Maybe that’s too hard.

Practice the Spiritual Discipline of fasting from TV news. You might just discover your blood pressure dropping, your emotions more centered, your friends and family more understanding, and your attention fixed upon others whom you can love and serve. I call that a good thing.

You Can Toss It Down or You Can Savor It

September 29, 2015

This may be a strange post for a spiritual formation blog. But that hasn’t stopped me before.

I’m writing this on a United flight from Sacramento to Dulles on my way home from a business / pleasure trip to California. For three days I discussed industrial software technology and trends. Then for another three days, I learned about how to savor wine during some winery tours in Napa Valley.

What applies to wine, applies more broadly to about anything you do. Let’s think about it.

When it comes to a glass of wine, you have two options.

You can just toss it down and go for another on your way toward changing your mood.

You can savor the wine. Pour some out into a glass. Smell it. Use some imagination. What smells do you detect? Maybe a peppery smell of a Cabernet? Maybe the fruity smell of a white. Sip it. Check the flavors. Match it with appropriate chocolate or cheese. Check how the flavors of the wine and food enhance each other.

I have long noticed the same differences watching people eat. Some people put their face close to the plate and just shovel it in. Don’t ask them about taste.

Over time, I have discovered taste. Flavor. Take your time and savor the flavors. Find the unique spices and herbs and the qualitites of texture.

I’m thinking the same about Bible study. You can read quickly so that you get your Bible-in-a-year done. Or pick up a few superficial quotes that you can use in an argument.

Or you can read. Read again. Put the book down and think. Visualize the scene. Meditate and ask God for enlightenment over the passage. Read the passage that comes before again in order to gain context.

Swirl the thoughts. Breathe in the spirit. Savor the tastes. Unless you’re at Seminary or grad school where quantity and speed is more important than understanding, take you time. Spend time. I’ve been about eight months in Romans. No problem. I’m not going for a degree. I’m aiming for wisdom.

Not For The Purpose of Quarreling Over Opinions

September 17, 2015

Yesterday I pondered what kind of church, indeed what kind of society, we’d have if we could incorporate Paul’s 29 definitions of love from Romans 12.

Then I glanced over a page and saw Romans 14: “Welcome those who are weak in the faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions.”

We live in a society of people filled to overflowing with emotional opinions that are shallow and not thought out. Just check the majority of Facebook posts. Or check the comments to blogs over the past 10 years.

Andy Stanley recently taught a series called “Christian” where he voiced general society’s view of Christians as a quarrelsome lot. He nailed it.

I long ago gave up on the idea of having an intelligent conversation based on well-thought-out ideas among people willing to listen to reason. Actually, I have had a few business dinners where that sort of good conversation broke out. But it rarely happens among Christians.

What if? What if those of us who identify as Christ-followers, those seeking to live a with-God life, what if we chose not to quarrel with those weak in the faith over opinions? What if we asked questions out of the depths of love? And then listened to their stories with the depths of love? And what if we could quietly share just what great things happen personally when we live a life with God?

John Lennon sang, “You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.”

I’d love to see more than a few of us. How about you?

I Confess

August 24, 2015

We were taught as children that God is always watching us. Well, we were also taught that Santa Claus was always watching us, too. And both knew when we were naughty.

The writer of Hebrews, a document in the New Testament, talked about a great cloud of witnesses.

Worse than all of those–the Internet is watching you. The Web knows when you’ve been naughty. And it stores that data. The story is that they store it so that they can serve ads to you that are relevant to your wants. But, who knows what nefarious use could be made from all that knowledge about you?

I confess–that I am not scrambling to do damage control. I don’t have to go to my wife and explain why my name got linked to a Website that is designed for married men and women to “hook up” for casual sex.

I have never seen the Ashley Madison (no link provided) Website. I’ve seen ads. I’ve seen stories about it and its competitors. But I confess, I never clicked. For those who do not follow technology, the Ashley Madison Website was “hacked”, that is, broken into. And the “hackers”, aka thieves, downloaded the customer list including names and email addresses. If you enrolled at that site, soon the whole world will know.

I don’t write about technology on this blog. However, there is a spiritual discipline point to talking about technology.

For whatever reason some (many?) married men and women feel a deep need for sexual encounters. There seem to be many reasons for this. I’m not going to delve into psychology. But for more information, check out the first 9 chapters of Proverbs.

God knows what you do. He knows what’s in your heart. But if you want to do immediate relationship damage, register your email on these hook up or porn sites. When (not if) they are hacked and emails are released, the words of Desi Arnaz will come back to haunt you, ‘Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

The damage between you and God is already done. Better restore that relationship soon.

The Borrower Is Slave To The Lender

August 20, 2015

“I told them what I thought of them,” proclaimed the president of the company to his senior management after a meeting of the local bank’s Board of Directors.

“Uh, oh,” I thought. “Better start looking for a new job.”

Once again my premonition–or common sense–was right. Six months later I was no longer building automated assembly machines. I was now in the PC business.

You see, the week after the president puffed up his pride and forgot the Proverbs that his preacher father probably taught him, he was called to a meeting at the regional level of the bank. They called the loans. Gave us six months to find a new lender. We went Chapter 7.

Let’s do the math. Sales were about $6 million, the order backlog was about $10 million. We were growing (my job), but I didn’t realize that we couldn’t finance the growth. Worse, neither did the president or the CFO. We already owed the bank $1.75 million for the nice new building. Oh, and we also owed the bank $2 million in working capital.

I entered the company very knowledgeable about costs and the P&L statement. After discovering what a shambles our balance sheet was, I learned its nuances the hard way.

My grandfather was chairman of the board of a small local bank for a lot of years. I heard the banker’s side of things since I was a pup.

I also knew about Proverbs. Among others, one says, “The borrower is a slave to the lender.”

When you take on debt, remember that.

One of the most powerful things you can do to simplify your life is get out of debt. The only debt we’ve had for years is for a car. But we had the money to write a check but figured earnings on the money where it was would offset the interest. It was no burden, and now it’s gone.

Had Dave remembered that Proverb, perhaps 125 people wouldn’t have lost their jobs.

Stay out of debt and be free.

Six Things Productive People Do Every Day

July 14, 2015

This is a riff off a Silicon Valley investor (I follow many high technology bloggers and Websites) James Altucher. I think about personal disciplines a lot. I think about how developing a set of disciplines–or practices–can improve the way we live our lives. And enhance our spiritual journey.

Altucher was not thinking specifically about spiritual development. Many of his (more than) six things are (or can be) spiritual disciplines.

He says, “About six years ago I would say I was 100 percent unproductive. Everything I did would cost me in either well-being or money. By “well-being” I mean, competence, good relationships, and freedom. So when I say “cost me well-being” I would do things to specifically hurt the above three.”

Here are some good thoughts–especially when you see some of the stuff that gets passed around on Facebook. “Using that filter you can easily decide what is productive and what is not. For instance, do you respond to that negative comment on the Internet? No. Never. That person is dealing with his issues. Maybe he or she needs help from people who love him. But you don’t have to give that help. That would be unproductive.”

“A day is productive if I grow in competence. If I grow in my relationships. If I grow in my feeling of “choosing myself” – my freedom to make my own decisions in life instead of catering to the decisions and tastes of others.”

Here is his list. I love them. I may think of a couple more. What do you think? What would you add?

Reading

Reading is maybe the most productive thing you can ever do. Here’s what happens: when you die at the age of 100, you’ve just lived one 100-year life.

But when I read a book in a few days time, I just absorbed an entire life, curated, of someone I admire or respect. It’s like every book I read is a mentor. How many mentors do I have? 1000s.

Sleeping

I used to admire people who say, “I only need three hours of sleep a day.”

Only later do I find out that most of these people are borderline mentally ill. Think about the people in your life who say they only need three hours of sleep. Be honest. Maybe they are a little… (fill in the blank).

Why is sleeping productive? There’s brain science about rejuvenating neurons, etc. I read that somewhere. There are all sorts of studies that people who sleep more get sick less, have more willpower, are less at risk for cancer, etc.

But there’s something else. Dan Ariely, a guest on my podcast, says that the brain’s peak performance happens 2-4 hours after you wake up. So here’s what I do. I wake up at 5. I’ll read (or take a walk), until 7 a.m., and then I’ll start writing. Writing is the activity I love most. I’m a little kid again when I write. So I want my brain to be at it’s peak. So I’ll write from 7 – 9 a.m.

Then, I do a trick. Many days (when I can) I’ll take a 1-2 hour nap around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Then I know that two hours later my brain again will be peaking. Maybe not as much as before. But enough. So I’ll write again. This is why I do my Twitter Q&As at 3:30 every Thursday because I know my brain is supercharged then.

I know that if I do the activity I love most when my brain and body have the most energy then that will create the most value, create the most opportunities for me, improve my competence and improve my freedom (because of the opportunities generated).

Eat at Home

I don’t like to eat out. It takes so long. And then you have to wait for the bill. And I always feel bloated and I hate salads in restaurants.

So we make simple meals and we are done in about 10 minutes, two meals a day. I probably save an hour or two by not eating out or not eating junk that will bloat me and make me less productive.

Throw Stuff Out

A few months ago, my wife and I threw out almost everything we owned. What do we really need? I like reading on the Kindle. How many sheets do we need? We never have guests. How many clothes do I need? I was storing clothes I hadn’t worn in forever. Our house was totally empty. It was really nice. I felt like a breath of fresh air was going through my head.

It makes room for new things, new connections between my memories, new things for me to enjoy. Fewer things to obsess over. Cleaning the outside and cleaning the inside reduce stress. Every day I try to throw things out. It makes me feel good.

It also makes me feel like I need less. Throwing things out tells my brain, “you don’t need this anymore,” so my brain stops wanting things.

No News

Someone asked me a few weeks ago to comment on “the situation in Greece.” I guess they are going to default on their debt. So what? This gives TV people something to argue about. I’m happy for them.

People are wired to notice lions much faster than they notice apple trees. That’s why we are alive.

Since there’s no more lions chasing us down Main Street, the news tries to find other ways to trigger that fight or flight reflex.

No Meetings

I never went to a meeting where someone gave me a check at the end. I’ve never traveled to a meeting where it resulted in me making money or being happier. Most meetings can be summarized in a two-line email.

I’ll go to a meeting if it’s with my friends. That’s fun and improves my relationships. But I never go to any other meetings.

No Phone

I talk on the phone maybe once every other day. Again, the two-line email thing works in most cases.

Email

I like Neil Strauss’s approach. He has one hour a day scheduled for emails. His wife has his password so he can’t even log on to email before that hour.

Again, if you’re an employee somewhere you might be in the habit of responding quickly to email from, say, a boss. But try to cut it down to end-of-day when your brain is moving a bit slower and you don’t need it as much. Only do the thing you love most during your peak productive hours.

Experiences

We’re the sum of our experiences and not our material things. Experiences stay with us forever and build us into who we become. They add to our well-being. Material things get lost or thrown out or lose their usefulness.

A good experience for me is: where I meet friends, where I learn something new, where I learn something new that can increase my freedom.

A Mind Like Water

July 13, 2015

We read in Proverbs (14:30) “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

David Allen, author and consultant of “Getting Things Done” fame, talks about having a “mind like water.” That is actually a phrase he learned in Karate class that may come from Zen. The metaphor is of a pond of still water that absorbs the disturbance of a pebble or rock thrown in with the ripples gradually going away to nothing.

In Getting Things Done (all about personal productivity and effectiveness), this means writing down everything that you are holding in your head. Empty everything, every task, every commitment, everything you are trying to remember by writing it and putting it in a trusted space.

I’ve written before that I love Nozbe for doing this. It is a hard discipline to write things down. But when you empty your mind, you have “mind like water”–still, tranquil, waiting to handle the next disturbance.

James Altucher, a Silicon Valley investor, just wrote about productivity. He quoted Albert Einstein who once derisively stated, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk a sign of?” Altucher says, “that’s OK, Albert, I’d like an empty mind. That way I can fill it with what I choose.”

A tranquil mind means that I can concentrate on my Bible reading and other reading early in the morning.

A tranquil mind means that I can meditate with a clear focus on God far from all the distractions of clutter.

A tranquil mind means that I can come up with creative ideas for my business and my ministries.

As the wisdom teacher says, “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

I Am The Guardian Of A Vision

July 9, 2015

Some 20 years ago, I served as chairman of the board of trustees for our local church. Our main task was to oversee the health and repair of the physical property. With a building older than 100 years, that is a task.

There were some marvelous servants on the board. We all worked together with the skills God had given us, and I believe we were good stewards of the building and property–and the financial health of the church.

Writing in the Celtic Daily Prayer, an unknown author was talking about place (geographic, local) and especially about old places in England. He (she?) said, “When we say, ‘I’m in charge of these ruins,’ it must mean that we are guardians of a vision, not curators for the department of ancient monuments.”

There was a sense when I was attempting to lead the group that I felt part of a long line of people stretching back to the mid-1800s (a long time in western Ohio where settlement really didn’t begin in earnest until about the 1830s). They had a vision of being Jesus’ witnesses in the frontier.

In a way, we are still on the frontier wherever we go. Jesus remains a stumbling block to many. And my great sorrow is when Christ-followers themselves help throw up stumbling blocks instead of looking for ways to help people turn the stumbling block into a cornerstone for the foundation of their lives.

Let’s take the thought even further. When are we guardians of a vision laid out thousands of years before? When are we merely curators of an ancient monument out of which has been sucked all the life and spirit?

When we consider our spiritual formation, at what point do we look for what adds life? Or, should we consider at what point we began just curating an ancient monument and have lost the life?

Self-Criticism or Self-Justification

June 23, 2015

From the sayings of the Desert Fathers: We have abandoned the light yoke of self-criticism and put on the heavy yoke of self-justification.

How often do we read a proverb or a parable of Jesus and think, “This does not apply to me. I am OK. Never do that.” 

Worse, we read something and think, “Yes, I’ve done that, but….”

Criticism does not necessarily mean negative. It does mean dispassionate evaluation. The ability to put our mind outside ourselves, so to speak, and look at ourselves.

There was a time in my life where I think I had anger issues. I’d don’t remember clearly except for one incident. Maybe I was 10 or 11. I was fighting another kid in the neighborhood. Suddenly I saw myself from outside. It was a moment of epiphany. “What the heck am I doing?” I thought. I got up, quit, and became a personal pacifist from that moment forward.

Although the temper bred from insecurity still showed up from time to time. I can still remember the last time. With great shame, by the way. It was maybe seven or eight years ago. Maybe more. There’s a guy who can get under my skin. He did. I exploded. 

When I should have showed some anger I chose to look at the big picture and let it pass. There was no win.

That thought process is self-criticism. I’m not justifying by saying that person was at fault. I was aware. I didn’t act appropriately. It’s all on me.

Do you know people who have no concept of self-criticism? Especially people with narcissistic tendencies have trouble looking at themselves.

Ask a narcissist, “Don’t you seem to think of yourself first?”, and they will reply, “Yes, of course” as if to say, “Duh.”

I have met these–and even asked the question. And received the answer.

According to a recent study, the best way to get beyond this attitude is to listen–really listen–to others. Hemmingway once said, “When you listen, listen completely. Most people don’t listen.”

As I teach Yoga, I remind the class to listen to their bodies and minds. I want them to become self-aware. That is the first step toward developing the ability to look at ourselves critcally and reward ourselves for steps in the right direction and pull ourselves back onto the right track.

Put on the light yoke of self-criticism. Check your mind and body frequently.

When Faith And Works Intersect

May 14, 2015

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

No, I’m not going for a bad joke for a 7-year-old. On the other hand, this sounds like a question to meditate on to break your preoccupation with the cares of the world.

Last night, our small group was studying Romans (like we have for the past several months and we’re only to 8:1). We were talking faith and living by faith. But where do the spiritual disciplines fit?

“What comes first? Faith or disciplines?”

This is really a faith versus works argument. Can we make ourselves right with God through our work?

James tackles this question. Actually Paul does, just not as succinctly. Jesus does.

People who have had faith and who have realized that they were drifting away from their relationship with God have rekindled their faith through regular reading from the Bible.

When I lead people into an understanding of the spiritual disciplines and try to lead them into practice, my counsel is that the purpose of practicing study, prayer, mediation, service, worship, simplicity is not to earn your way into God’s favor. It is to work on yourself so that your relationship deepens.

Jon Swanson is writing on routines again. He says, “Think of it this way: a ritual is something we do hoping to influence God. A routine is something we do to work on us. A routine like daily prayer or weekly Sabbath or monthly celebration brings our minds back to the story of God’s work. But thinking about a routine this way means we have to think about what we are doing rather than ritually acting.”

I am a person who needs routine. If my routines are interrupted–such as almost every time I travel–then I can feel it physically as well as spiritually.

Routine, practice, discipline–if done intentionally, they are all ways to work on ourselves.

Faith comes first. Then we go to work.