Posts Tagged ‘awareness’

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Take Care of Yourself

June 3, 2016

“I translate theology into English.”

Somewhere in a conversation, that thought occurred to me. I do that with technology, too.

Sometimes, though, we need to go beyond theology. We read about the great thinkers of the faith. Or the great leaders. We sometimes stop with what they wrote, or with saints, with the weird things they did.

I get annoyed. We don’t teach leaders how to take care of themselves. We don’t teach Jesus followers how to take care of themselves, either. Many of the leaders left traces of their lifestyles that would teach as much as their words.

Caregivers know, or soon learn, that they must take care of themselves and keep themselves healthy and balanced if they are going to be able to help others. “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others,” the flight attendant intones at the beginning of every flight.

Part of the message of Keven L. Meyer’s book, The Simple Leader, advises us to use the principles of Lean and Zen to take care of ourselves, too.

  • Simplify our environment–get rid of clutter around us and organize what’s left
  • Simplify our minds–get rid of the clutter there, too; learn to be aware of the present–where we are, people and things around us, sights/sounds, conversations, focus on what you’re doing
  • Simplify our nutrition–use Lean principles of reducing waste by eating healthy foods, not preparing or trying to eat too much–that is waste and we remove waste
  • Focus–on where you are right this moment
  • Focus–on one task at a time
  • Focus–on the other person in a conversation
  • Awareness–of what we eat, eating slowly with awareness of flavor and texture, eating foods that are good to our bodies and minds
  • Awareness–of the other person, what are they thinking and feeling (not my response)
  • Awareness–of our purpose and the type of person we want to be, and where we are right now relative to those

All of these impact the type of leader we will be–and the type of person we’ll become. Go and take care of yourself, too.

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Respect For People

June 1, 2016

If there is a foundation principle for this blog, it could be respect for people. Even if you are dealing with difficult people or people who have failed at something, the principle means that you deal with them openly yet respectfully.

I’m on a bit of a vacation, which means I brought along books to read. I am just finishing The Simple Leader: Personal and Professional Leadership at the Nexus of Lean and Zen, by Kevin L. Meyer. Don’t get worried by the terms Lean and Zen. Lean is a way of life in manufacturing, but it can also be applied to personal life. There is a non-religious component of Zen, which, if you knew that, you’d realize you see some if it in my writing. I studied it many years ago.

There are two foundation principles to Lean: reduce waste and respect for people (or could be translated humanity). There’s not room to include the Zen part today, but the essential parts are mindfulness and simplicity.

While meditating this morning, two thoughts dominated my awareness. The first is that so much of what I write is based on a foundation (and a wish that I would perfectly embody it) of respecting others. That is how I can have friends from so many cultures and religions.

I see no conflict to being a follower of Jesus yet respecting someone who follows Muhammad, the Buddha, or Krishna, or whatever. There are human complexities that I just don’t understand. Who am I to judge?

The other thought is how I am so disappointed when I see people showing so little respect to much anyone. Skimming through my Facebook “news” stream shows plenty of that. Even worse is skimming newspapers or watching TV news.

One of the organizations developed by people that often shows the opposite side of respect unfortunately are our Christian churches. Begun by our early leaders to bring people together for instruction and worship, so many degenerate into an “us vs. them” mindset that I literally grieve. They have ruined so many lives–or rather people within them who fail to show respect have ruined so many lives.

Business, churches, personal life–all thrive with the foundation of respect for people.

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All God’s Children

May 17, 2016

“Your wife told me that you’ve been to Germany recently,” the older guy said to me at the gym. He came closer obviously wanting to make a point.

“Did you see a lot of those Muslims there?” he asked in a confidential whisper. “You know they are everywhere over there. The people hate Merkel for letting them in. They don’t assimilate like other people. They just keep to their own communities.”

When you grow up in a white-only area of a southern California city and then move to a rural area where total “non-white” population is less than 8%, I guess you form weird ideas about people. Add in that his only source of news is Fox…

I’m white, I suppose. Grew up and still live in the area. People always assume I share the same beliefs. But I went wrong somewhere. Traveled extensively. Did business around the world for the past 35 years. And maybe I took the New Testament teachings more seriously than most. (By the way, not all people in west central Ohio share that guy’s belief. Many do, though.)

Thoughts of poor Peter right after Jesus’ resurrection flashed through my mind. A gentile named Cornelius had a crisis–a crisis of health and a spiritual crisis he didn’t even realize at first. Peter was called.

Now Jews didn’t assimilate into the broader Greco-Roman culture. Peter was forbidden by his law from going into Cornelius’ house. From eating his food. From having any more to do with him than business.

But Cornelius had a problem and Peter had the solution. God had been whispering (maybe even shouting) to Peter to prepare him for this occasion. Peter sucked it up, went in, healed, shared the good news of Jesus’ resurrection, converted the entire household.

Peter finally experienced the power of the gospel. It is for all God’s children. God loves every human being and wants to draw them all to him. The New Testament, as much as many wish, is not full of doctrine and theology. It is full of the need of all of us for grace and God’s wish to extend it to us.

Back to my acquaintance at the gym. I burst his bubble. At least a little one.

“No,” I said, “I didn’t see many Muslims. But I have many Muslims as friends. They are all great people. There will be several posts a day in my Facebook feed in Arabic.”

Not willing to leave well enough alone, “Be careful what you trust as far as news on TV. They manipulate pictures to show things as more dramatic or worse than they are for effect. Remember, they aren’t bringing news. They are selling ads.”

And I leave that for you. Be careful what you allow to fill your mind. Are you in a vicious circle of negativity? Are you filling it with God’s word so that when an opportunity arises you can respond appropriately?

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Other People Are Not Always What We Think

April 27, 2016

When you know someone well, you get a picture in your mind about their overall life attitudes and ethics. Sometimes we are surprised when someone we thought we knew does something out of character, but usually when we know someone, we can predict their behavior.

When we don’t really know other people but think we do, we can be completely wrong.

Some people in the US have a picture of what a Christian looks like, thinks like, acts like, and so forth. Then they read something about Europe, for example, and form an opinion about Europeans. I’ve seen the same attitudes directed toward people of other areas in the world, as well.

If you ask around the rural American Midwest, the picture that you form about Europeans would be that they have loose morals, open sex, much drinking, no religion.

While that would not be every person in the Midwest, of course, you’d find enough to paint the picture.

I’m in Europe while writing this after having dinner last night with several Germans and a Dutch guy.

While by and large Europeans do not have the same view of religion as my neighbors, I for one am not ready to pronounce judgement on them.

Regarding personal morality, I have found every person I’ve met over the past 30 years of traveling over here to have the highest. You, my Midwest readers, may have heard about Amsterdam and other European cities where prostitution is somewhat open–that is, not hidden in truck stops and alleys like in America. That does not mean that every European man visits them.

Let’s take the thought of assumption to another level. Think of the rich young man’s encounter with Jesus. The man was obedient to God. He followed the laws. Jesus loved him. Yet, he went away sad when Jesus told him that to inherit eternal life he must give away all his possessions to the poor and follow.

Have you speculated on that man? Come to any conclusions? That is hard to do. We hear rich and paint a picture of a certain sort of man. But maybe that painting is wrong.

I think the reason for the story is not to point to the young man and allow us to speculate about other people. I think we are to take this story to ourselves. What are we willing to give up that gets in the way of our following Jesus?

Our job is not to assume what other people are like. Our job is to get ourselves right. Then we can meet other people with openness and sensitivity.

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He Started a Revolution And We Almost Missed It

April 7, 2016

My morning studies now involve just reading the words of Jesus. I’ve been deep in Paul for a few years and felt like it was time to visit the source.

I’ve often taught over the years about how Jesus upset the philosophy, should I say spirit, of Rome. The prevailing spirit of the time was power. He who has power, wins. Even the Pharisees played along. They just defined power as following the Law better than others did. This gave them the feeling of religious power.

Jesus upset the whole thing.

Matthew records that Jesus began his ministry proclaiming repentance–turning your life around.

Then he proceeds in his compilation of teachings to what we call the Beatitudes. And who are the blessed of God?

  • simple people
  • merciful people
  • peacemakers
  • humble, meek people
  • those who mourn
  • those who are persecuted
  • Those who hunger for righteousness

None of these would be Pharisees. Even today, in most churches we do not consider these people in our midst blessed–holy ones.

When we sit in our chair in the morning for study and prayer, maybe we need to check our attitude. When we go forth to serve, maybe we should check our attitude.

The powerful and super-confident may seem to win for a while. In the end, they don’t.

 

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Relationships-With Yourself Too

March 1, 2016

Sometimes I’m a slow learner.

Lately I’ve been contemplating relationships among genders and among diverse cultural groups. I knew the last one wouldn’t get as many “likes.” It’s difficult for many people to comprehend.

I guess the reason I don’t share many of the attitudes of my western Ohio peer group is that I didn’t have a close peer group growing up. Pretty much  a loner, although not be (my) choice. But then also, I’ve traveled extensively and learned to work with people from all over the world. You should develop a sensitivity to other people doing that. I know some retain their prejudices. But I really didn’t.

When I pray, I pray for lots of people. Today I was praying for a family where one member faced a difficult surgery. That was special. There are many more.

One day not too long ago I suddenly realized that I could pray for myself. It would be OK. In fact, I think God likes that. Kind of like the guy in the Temple that Jesus talked about who looked down at the ground and asked God to have mercy–on himself.

It really never occurred to me to pray for myself. I’m always living in the world of ideas or thinking about other people.

It isn’t narcissistic to think of yourself. Just don’t dwell on it. Or forget about other people. Or put Jesus first.

Guess what? I felt better. Actually almost somewhat relieved. So many people have so much worse issue than I. It seems trivial. But then, it is me who has to live with me. And if I don’t take care of that, then I can make life miserable for people around me.

While praying for your list, it’s OK to stop and say, God, I’ve got this little problem that I’d like for you to fix or show me the way. It’s a good thing.

Good relationships with others begin with a good relationship with ourselves.

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The Power of Changing Our Minds

February 22, 2016

I was so smart. I knew the best distribution model for an electronics product  we had developed in the late 80s. It didn’t work.

Great leaders don’t always know everything and pursue the course originally set with no deviation until the end. Al Pittampalli, a management consultant, witnessed so many leaders delaying decisions through endless meetings that he concluded what was needed from leaders was single-minded consistency and pursuit of a way forward.

Then he discovered he was wrong. The best leaders today obtain constant feedback by whatever means it takes to get it. They honestly weigh the feedback, painful though it may be, and are prepared to change course if necessary to achieve the desired outcome.

His work is documented in Persuadable: How Great Leaders Change Their Minds to Change the World.

The small group is reading through the book of Acts of the Apostles. Reflect on the number of times Paul says he wants to do one thing or visit another city and then he changes his mind and goes elsewhere. New facts enter the picture, he considers them, prays about them, and is not too proud to change course and go another direction.

Pittampalli writes about a therapist who was working with an overweight, depressed teenage girl. He asked her to fill out a simple evaluation each session so he could get some feedback. The evaluations were always overwhelmingly positive, yet by the third session he could tell that they were making no progress.

He noticed that the score for “helping me achieve my goals”, although 86 out of 100, was much lower than every other score. He asked specifically about that. She said that he had ignored her goal of becoming a Miami Heat cheerleader.

Ah, breakthrough. He went back and started acknowledging her goal. No, she didn’t become a Miami Heat cheerleader. She did organize cheerleading and fund raising for the basketball team at the agency that sent her to counseling, though. A clear win for the girl.

As for me, that company went out of business before I could get enough feedback to change–even if I had wanted to. But I think I’d have gone with the flow if another avenue had opened. But we needed immediate sales. The computer board was already almost a year old when they hired me. I had about six months before the technology would need updating.

My boss didn’t understand the dynamics of the computer business almost 30 years ago. You needed updated products every six months to a year. Kind of like today. My iPhone 5s was getting pretty obsolete after 18 months. Now I have a new iPhone 6s 😉

The key to leadership, and probably to achieving your personal goals, is soliciting–yes, even demanding–feedback. And then making adjustments based on it.

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Are We Really What We Think We Are?

February 19, 2016

Sometimes in our head we say that we do certain things regularly. Then we wake up and see–No we aren’t.

I like to think that I have meditated regularly over the past 45 years or more. But…there are times where life gets hectic and I don’t take the 15 minutes to slow down. I study the Bible regularly…except when I’m traveling and things are hectic and I don’t find 15 minutes to sit and read.

How many things do we tell ourselves that we do or are, but in reality we’re nowhere close to that?

Are we just kidding ourselves? Or trying to deceive ourselves?

The rich young man came to Jesus and said, in so many words, “I’m perfect.” And Jesus seeing into the heart said, “Oh, no, you’re not. Here is somewhere you fall short.” And the man couldn’t do it.

Or take poor Peter. He told Jesus he’d follow him anywhere, any time. Jesus said oh, no, even just tonight you will deny you ever knew me.

Yet, Peter went on to be a great leader. The young man with no name went away sorrowfully.

Maybe it’s not so much that we deceive ourselves. It’s when we get a realization–maybe someone says something about us and we think “What????”–and it’s what we do with that realization.

We start to set aside 15 minutes a day. We help the next person we see who needs help. We bite our tongue and refuse to say that mean thought that popped into our brain.

It’s the same with us as leaders. We think we’re including everyone. We think we have a vision and direction. We think we give clear instructions.

Except when we don’t.

It is not what we have done but what we do when we come to awareness that counts.

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Be Real In Faith, In Life

January 28, 2016

“I always look for the mask people are wearing,” said a friend once.

I suppose that comment is cynical, since he assumes everyone has ulterior motives or is hiding something.

But many of us are hiding something. Pain, uncertainty, feelings of being inferior, feelings of inadequacy. Or, we are acting a role. We want to convince people we’re smarter, better, more spiritual than others.

You can devote your life to spiritual practices. But, in the practices themselves, where is your heart?

Do you study not only to learn but also to impress others? Do you worship because your heart is joyful or out of duty? Do you fix a smile on your face and raise your hand in celebration, but you “really want to get away?”

More important is the question, is what I am doing helping someone else along their journey to God?

Maybe I have adopted the language, dress, and attitude of another group. I talk at them, not with them. How is that working for you? Or your worship music changes every year while seeking to appeal to a specific group.

But what do people, especially seeking people or young people, really  want to see? They want to see you being real.

When you talk about study, you can teach yet acknowledge that you still haven’t figured it all out, yet. When you discuss the with-God life, you confess that it is not an easy path and that there are times you get off the path.

Has the spiritual life helped you? And you can answer honestly where it has and where you still need to grow.

We probably all wear masks at times. But if we are trying to help someone else, we’ve got to drop the pretense. We are what we are. Struggling seekers longing for a better relationship with God.

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Act Without Murmuring or Arguing

January 25, 2016

Watch out for small groups of people in the organization who gather to criticize, back bite, and argue. Have you noticed this phenomenon? Worse, have you ever been in one of those groups? Or been a leader in gathering them?

I am by nature an analyzer (ENTP). I have to be very careful and aware of whom I talking with as to whether I’m merely analyzing or “murmuring” or arguing. Occasionally someone has accused me of cynicism. But that stance ascribes motivations to others. I try to just describe actions and probe reasons. I don’t automatically think people are duplicitous.

Paul offers an antidote to this attitude that can be so hurtful to people and organizations. Writing to the Philippians (2:14), he says, “Do all things without murmuring and arguing, so that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the world.”

Nothing beats negativity or (non-clinical) depression like action. One of the key Spiritual Disciplines is service. When you’re out serving others, doing for Jesus, you don’t have time for complaining and murmuring.

A good leader will organize such that there is a bias toward action. Don’t give people time to gather and complain. Get the teams moving in a positive direction.

Several years ago, there was a company I knew that had pathetic leadership. I’m being kind. Employees had all kinds of time to go online and comment on Websites. The negativity, hate, complaining, finger-pointing was terrible. People in other companies wondered how they had all that time. Part of the problem of the leadership was that they weren’t focused on pushing ahead and getting commitment of people.

It is often our fault, though. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves. We need to have some self-awareness of when we are slipping. When we sense this negativity happening, it’s time to look for a service project. Get busy. Get focused. Get positive.

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