Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

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Sometimes We Try Too Hard

July 31, 2013

Part of my daily routine is a morning workout. Most of the time, that includes a run in the park. Now, I’m not a distance runner. Never have been. I run daily to maintain a level of fitness. I prefer running while refereeing soccer.

When I referee, I don’t notice the running. My mind is on the match. I’m running to get into position for the next action. Or maybe to calm down some injured egos. When I run my usual 5K plus route, I only have my podcast and the end in mind.

So, I think about making it back to the car. And instead of just running at a smooth, relaxed pace, I find myself tensed up trying to make it to the finish. Some days, I find it quite difficult to concentrate on slowing my mind and just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes the spiritual life can be the same. We’re trying too hard to be the final product of spiritual development–fully mature in the spirit. But life isn’t like that. It’s a long journey where we just put one foot in front of the other–all day, every day.

Then we look back occasionally and think, “Wow, I’ve really changed.”

This becomes practical in another sense. Maybe it’s your leadership–in church, your organization, your family. You try too hard to be the finished product. You get frustrated because things are not going as well as you picture it in your mind. You’re frustrated when the goal looks so far away.

I have this when I’m working on a number of projects and the load looks overwhelming. Then I just step back, take a deep breath, and then begin tackling things one task at a time. And soon, I’m done–and feeling much better.

The first motivational speaker I ever heard at a management conference professed the mantra, “Try easy.” That phrase has stuck with me for 35 years. It’s still relevant. Let’s not get ourselves all worked up over some day in the future. Let’s just take one step at a time toward our goal.

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Are Perfectionists Always Right

July 25, 2013

Some people seem to exist only in order to point out what is wrong about what everyone else does. You know these people. I hope one of them isn’t you! These are people whom you avoid at receptions. You hate to get stuck in the same room alone with them.

I was around one of those critical people the other day, and I started to think. (That’s one of my vices; I’m always thinking.) What is it that makes these people think that they are always right? Or, even, are they always right?

Even worse–am I one of those people sometimes?

I’ve listened to many during my long life. Seems to me most, if not all, fit into the category Jesus described when he said that you’re more worried about the speck of dust in your neighbor’s eye than in the plank in your own eye.

Jesus challenged people. He could see through people into what their real motivations were. He’d say things like, “Sell all your possessions and follow me.” He could see what was holding that person back from truly following him.

Where Jesus did  get critical was toward his archenemies–the Pharisees. These guys lived that life of pointing out what was wrong about everyone else. But they really tried to be perfect in their lives just as they were telling other people to be perfect.

Except–

You can’t live a perfect life. And to tell others to do that is to pile up burdens on them. And that is not the way to salvation.

Jesus was critical towards the Pharisees. He’d point out all their inconsistencies. How they were more worried about the outside of the cup than the inside. Symbolic of how they were more concerned with their outward appearance than with inner holiness.

My guess is that those critical people could use a dose of love. Leading to understanding and empathy. And worry about their own inner life. Not so much worrying about other people.

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Worry is a form of useless fear

July 19, 2013

Had a conversation yesterday that send my mind on a time trip remembering my mother. She was a worrier. I think she worried herself to death.

The guy who “styled” my hair back in the 70s told me, “I’m a worrier. All of us German immigrants are. It’s part of the genes.”

Worry is the fear of what might happen.

Most things that might happen, never do. Some things that happen, you have no control over. Rationally, there is little reason for worry.

But most of us do.

This goes along with yesterday’s meditation on fear.

We fear so many things. We worry about much.

Jesus said, why worry?

I was a child of my mother. But I changed. I seldom worry now. Just like I’ve conquered about 98% of my fearfulness.

How?

  • Deliberately choose something else to think about
  • Start to work on a project
  • If in the middle of the night, either set imagination on another topic–or–get up and read the Bible, a good novel, your Mandarin Chinese lesson
  • Work though the one think among your worries that you can control and develop a project list of tasks to cover it.

Viktor Frankl, psychologist, developer of Logotherapy, survivor of a Nazi concentration camp, discovered it for himself, “The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose my attitude in the face of uncertain circumstances.”

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How Shall You Live, In Fear or In Peace

July 18, 2013

I’ve been a little under the weather this week, with the net result a night in the hospital for some observations. Going well, but this all gave me some time to ponder some current events in the US.

A man in our small group Tuesday responded to a question about how shall we live with, “In peace.”

That comment was a perfect complement to my thinking about the Zimmerman case specifically and a more general problem in this country. For my many international readers (you may know this better than I, in fact) the Zimmerman case which was just concluded involved a private citizen on a neighborhood watch patrol who brought a weapon along for company. He saw a hooded figure and shot said hooded figure, who later died. I think those are the basic facts.

I cannot comment on motives, whether race was a factor, what the confrontation really was, who started it, and all the rest. I don’t read those news stories–which are pretty much all speculative anyway.

I can imagine fear playing the main supporting role in the drama, though. I have talked to many people (and seen the Facebook posts, among other things) who have weapons for “protection.” And I talk with and observe many more.

The common theme is fear. There are varying degrees, but that is the core.

I understand fear–at least on some levels. Have you ever felt as if you are being attacked or threatened? Not only physically, but maybe your job or your position or something? It has been years for me, but I remember. And I remember that I responded with anger. And the anger escalated.  I’ve observed it on the soccer pitch, as well.

We can Jesus is the antidote. But that is too easy. What is it about Jesus that brings the antidote. It is “the peace that passeth all understanding.” You can live with-God daily in peace–or you can live a shriveled life in fear. What’s your choice?

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Fear of God

February 25, 2011

Ever notice how words change meaning? Sometimes over centuries. Sometimes over decades. When I was a kid and read the word “gay,” for example, it was in the context of a verb describing the feeling of joy. Today, it’s a noun describing the sexual orientation of a person.

Take the word “fear.” When I was a kid, and probably even to this day, the word describes a feeling that something bad may happen because of someone or some event. But in the Bible, they use that word often in the context of God.

And generations of preachers have latched on to that word to “scare the hell out of you.” Right? Remember, sermons typically are not intellectual arguments or teaching (although some speakers are teachers), but often they are speeches designed to trigger an emotional response in the listeners. So manipulating the word fear can be a good speaker’s gimmick.

I’m finishing my reading of Julian’s Reflections. Toward the end, she identifies four kinds of fear.

  • Fear of attack — “which comes to a man suddenly because of his own weakness”
  • Fear of pain — “by which a man is stirred and awakened from the sleep of sin”
  • Doubtful fear — which draws you to despair, or the “bitterness of doubt”
  • Reverent fear — “this is the most gentle, because the more of it one has, the less it is felt because of the sweetness of love”

I think that modern English of the last 100 years or so has lost the power of that last sense of the word. We use it more in the sense of being afraid, which is a state of being anxious. Whereas God, who also wants us to be “intimate” with Him, also wants us to acknowledge that He is the supreme creator of the universe and everything in it. In that case, we should be intimate without familiarity. A little like “I love Dad, but I still respect him” sort of feeling.

You are going to be hard pressed to find God trying to “scare the hell out of you” in the Bible. But you will see where He wants you to come to Him, but still hold Him in awe simultaneously.

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Will Divisive Arguing Kill the Church

February 23, 2011

When I wrote the post yesterday about making statements that kill a conversation, I didn’t realize I’d contemplate this thought from the author Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God Knows What):

And on a side note, I am wondering whether the church in Europe decreased in size and impact because of loose, liberal theology, or because the church got divided and people got tired of the fighting. You never hear about that loose European theology, but you do hear a lot about bitter fights (historically, to the death) over theological squabbles. I think people just left the dinner party saying to themselves that they’d just rather find community at the pub. If the church dies in America, it wont be because of liberal theology, it will be because people don’t sense Christians actually understand or respect Jesus’ prayer in John 17. It goes without saying, then, that if they will know us by our love, they will also know we are not of God by our inability to acknowledge an individuals sovereignty.

He was talking about how so many of his friends do not attend church because they get tired of theological jabbing. The “if you don’t believe just as I believe you’re going to Hell” attitude. The people that speak up and then wonder why the energy just gets sucked out of a room.

You can’t base sociology on just a few people, but combining my study of history with comments European friends of mine have made over the years, I’ve got to agree with his comment. I know that I’ve grown tired of theological debate. It’s not about theology–it’s all about Jesus.

Oh, his prayer in John 17? He is praying for his followers as he is preparing to leave Earth. Part of the prayer goes, “And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one.”

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Don’t Cheapen Your Faith in God

January 24, 2011

The bottle looks almost like that of the more popular dishwashing detergent. The price was great–much less than the competition. Must be a good buy, right? But then you notice that the dishes come out of the dishwasher with a grungy film.

Cheap doesn’t always win. Value is the ratio of the price to the quality.

I thought about this in relation to the faith that many people seem to exhibit. So, I was wondering–is your faith cheap? Or a value?

Sometimes I wonder if people get their faith from a cereal box. Or a bumper sticker slogan. Donald Miller in his book “Searching for God Knows What” talks about “propositional” Christianity. That is where someone’s faith consists of repeating short propositions that may or may not be actually based on the Bible.

Then again, sometimes I think that people think way too much about their faith. I was checking out a church’s Website to learn something about them. There was a very long page of “what we believe.” It’s well thought out, I guess, and quite comprehensive.

On the other hand, I’d be warmer toward that church if they had just said, “We’re a community of followers of Jesus trying to help each other live a life with-God.”

It’s easy, but cheap, to just memorize propositions. Not to mention that knowing more propositions than others can be a source of pride. It’s much harder and requires extra expenditure of effort and focus with a dash of humbleness to strive to live each moment with God. Man, sometimes I wish it were easy.

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Earn your way to heaven or have relationship

January 13, 2011

I listened to a speaker talking on the rich young man yesterday. He opened my eyes a little. That’s why I read and listen to as many people as possible. By the way, downloading “podcasts” (talks and shows that you put on your iPod for listening later) is a great use of time–better than TV. When I make the 4.5-hour drive to my office in Chicago, I can listen to many podcasts and learn a lot. It’s better than mind-numbing other stuff on the radio.

Anyway, he was pondering the question, was Jesus too harsh with the young man? You remember the story. Rich young man (or rich young ruler depending on which Gospel you read) comes to Jesus and asks what he must do to be saved. (Note the verb “do”) Jesus says follow the commandments (my guess is that Jesus either knew him or knew of him since he was obviously of the aristocratic class). He says he has from his youth.

Let’s pause a second there. He has followed all the commandments? That’s an audacious statement. In fact, isn’t it really impossible?

Regardless, Jesus tells him to sell everything he has and give to the poor. And the man went away unhappy.
So, was Jesus harsh? He didn’t go after him and say, “Hey, wait a minute. I’m still here. Let’s work something out.” Jesus let him go.

In one recording of the story, it begins with “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Jesus wasn’t hateful to him. I don’t think he was even trying to pile more burdens on him. I don’t think the possession thing is even the point.

The man was trying to earn his way to heaven by being good. Jesus said that we can’t earn our way to heaven. We must turn our lives around (repent) and turn our focus and belief toward God. And Jesus says that if we have a relationship with him (like being his friend) then he will help us find that focus on God and enjoy God the Father’s grace.

The man evidently was still trying to earn his way into grace. Maybe his whole life had centered on the ability to buy his way out of anything. I bet you know people like that today. Therefore, the wealth gets in the way of relationship. I bet you know people like that with their personal relationships–let alone relationship with God.

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Pride will drive you crazy

January 11, 2011

I was teaching from Daniel last week. It’s always amazing how threads of thought come together. I’ve been pondering whether much of the trouble and strife we have in the country today is caused by pride and then I’m asked to teach from this particular book. My text was Chapter 4 where the king has a dream. He is troubled, but he doesn’t know why. No one can interpret the dream, until Daniel (who is about to be killed along with all other educated men) says, Wait. I can help.

Now, my daughter earned a master’s in psychology. Me, I am just a perpetual student–but not in schools. I’ve read most of Freud, all of Jung, all of the Bible (more than once), and a lot more. She says that a dream is just a bunch of random neurons firing over night probably dredging up random thoughts you’ve had during the day.

My studies (and personal experience to some degree) say that occasionally a dream is more than a dream. (Carl Jung, who studied these things and was much more wise than his followers, once said, sometimes a dream is just a dream. But then he studied a lot of dreams.)

When you are in a position of great authority, your thoughts are on things that are beyond everyday living. You are concerned with history, your importance, what people are plotting, and especially in the ancient world, God. Early leaders right up through the rulers of Rome and continuing into the Middle Ages’ kings and Popes would get the idea that they were, indeed, God himself.

So, the king is full of those thoughts–we would say full of himself, or maybe something soft, brown and squishy–and goes to sleep. He has a numinous dream–one from God. Paraphrasing Daniel’s analysis, “You’d better change your ways, or you’ll go crazy.”

He didn’t; and he did.

Later, when the king was restored to health, he praised God because he had experienced the mighty power of God.

Just so, do we all today–and all those loud-mouthed pundits on TV and radio, and so on–need to go through a season (or seven seasons like this king) of insanity before coming to our senses? Acknowledge your pride and turn your life away from it.

The best advice I’ve seen so far about this is to live only in the present moment without dwelling either on the past or the future but focused only on walking with God during this minute. If you are doing that, then there is no place for the ego to assert itself and get you into trouble.

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Praying to keep the Christmas Spirit

January 7, 2011

I’m sitting here this morning looking at my wife’s beautiful Christmas cactus. It’s full of blooms. It sits there all year waiting for mid-December to bloom. The blooms last a little while. Then it goes dormant again.

It’s kind of like us. How many years are we dormant most of the time, then bloom in December with the excitement of Christmas (carols, talk of peace, remembering Jesus, buying gifts for others), then the blooms die in January with the Christmas tree we pitch out on the street.

I’ve been reading 14th Century mystic Walter Hilton–“The Ladder of Perfection”–where he talks about how to cast the spiritual eye of your soul on Jesus. He writes some chapters about how hard that is for humans to do constantly. You slip, think about physical pleasures or pressures.

Hilton suggests praying the Psalms. But praying them in the soft voice of Jesus, not the “high-pitched voice” of men trying to impress. Put yourself in an attitude of communicating with God and then begin to pray the Psalms.

That sounds like a good idea. Many years ago I read a book by German pastor and theologian (and political activist) Dietrich Bonhoeffer where he called Psalms the “prayer book of the “Bible”. Let’s see if that gives a focus to our prayer life.

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