Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

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Passionately Curious

May 5, 2014

As many long-time readers know, if I miss a day or two, I’m traveling. I had many meetings in the Chicago area last week. That enabled me to have an eye exam and try out new contacts courtesy of my daughter-in-law. Then also spend time with my grandkids–ages 4 and 6.

“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” ― Albert Einstein

We were walking across the parking lot to the restaurant for dinner. My granddaughter was holding my hand and skipping and jumping. One of the things I love about kids is just this exuberance. To have that energy at the end of the day. Reminded me of walks with my grandson when he was 18 months or so. He lived in Florida at the time. Walks could take a long time. We stopped and checked out everything–leaves, bugs, lizards, worms, birds. That’s another thing about kids, curiosity.

I think so many people lose their curiosity. I have always been curious about things. Still am. I think that trait has kept me young even though I’m not.

Along with that thought, I picked up another:

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” ― Albert Einstein

Children also know no bounds with dreaming up new things. They can blow up your structured thinking and closed way of looking at the world.

We need this in all areas of our lives. I’ve seen people in church without curiosity or imagination. I’ve seen them especially in business. The people in business who have influenced me the most had these traits.

The smaller children, before they learn differently, also just “tell it like it is.” I’m seeing situations in organizations I’m in where there are some people hiding behind masks. Not seeming to be as they are.

It’s a good thing to be childlike. I’m not sure if that is part of what Jesus said about being like children.

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Doing What God Calls You To Do

April 28, 2014

The city was known for its violence and cruelty. Its treatment of outsiders was known and feared.

It had gotten so bad that God decided to act. It was either that the city, meaning the attitudes and orientation of all the people in the city, change its ways or it would be destroyed.

God called a man to take this message to the city. He went to the city and preached what we would call repentance. That means he called the people to change the attitude of their hearts from one of cruelty and violence to one oriented toward walking with God. This attitude would be reflected in the way that they lived, such that instead of a reputation for cruelty, they would gain a reputation as God-followers.

The man went, he preached, they changed. Great story.

Except.

The man did not want to do that. The city was his people’s archenemy. He wanted it destroyed and all the people who lived there.

So he did what anyone would do in that situation. He fled. He ran away from God. But God cannot be escaped. He caught the man and pretty much forced him to go to the city and preach. And the man was successful. The city and all the inhabitants repented and changed their ways. God did not destroy the city. The man sat outside and pouted. He wanted destruction. God wanted a right life.

The man’s name was Jonah. God caught him with a fish who grabbed him and took him back to the land. The story isn’t about the fish. The story is about repentance. About how God wanted everyone (not just the Hebrews) to repent and follow Him. It’s also a story about call.

Do you feel a call. It weighed on my soul for a long time that I should have a ministry. Didn’t know what it would be. I thought I knew. But then came a call. Actually, I was called for the same ministry many years ago. Said I couldn’t do it. God waited. He struck. I’m stuck.

How about you? What is weighing on your heart? Or maybe it’s a clear voice that you’re trying to ignore. Don’t ignore. In the end, God wins.

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Perseverance and Perspective

April 25, 2014

Sometimes I like to touch on leadership issues. Several months ago, I took on a couple of leadership roles where some roadblocks popped up on the path. I’m still fighting through some. But I was reminded of two words that have stood me well over the years.

Perseverance. Perspective.

Someone asked me earlier this week how one of the roles I had undertaken was going. Moving along, I replied. I guess you just need perseverance. Sometimes you just have to keep moving, no matter what. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. — Henry Ford.

Perspective means keeping the scope of live in mind. What does it all mean in the timeline of your life? There are things I’m taking on where I’m re-evaluating what the situation means in the scope of my life. Is this what I want to be doing? What is the importance relative to other things I’m doing?

I often ask the perspective question to dads and coaches (and sometimes moms) in youth soccer. The result of the 10-yr-olds game is not going to mean the difference of a World Cup draw seeding. Mostly they perspective of the kids is on the ice cream at the end of the game–win or lose.

Perspective will help your perseverance when your goals are aligned. When you are doing what you feel called to do. It will keep you going when obstacles seem like barriers rather than problems.

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Being Compassionate

April 3, 2014

Do you notice that there are “memes” that run through Facebook? Someone starts a thought that gets repeated by many for a day or two.

A recent meme circulated by many of my “friends” on Facebook had to do with getting rid of “deadbeats”. They don’t say what they’d do with them; but they want them gone.

I wonder if any of these sheltered people know any poor people relationally. It’s easy. In America today, millions of people are just one illness away from bankruptcy.

What gets to me more than the politics is the attitude. When I glance through the posts–many from people I know personally–the cynicism, arrogance, and lack of empathy just totally strikes at my heart. Are these people really that heartless? Or are they just parroting the “party line?”

Willow Creek Community Church just began its annual three-weekend long Compassion series called Celebration of Hope. Last Sunday, Executive Pastor and Director of Compassion and Justice, Heather Larson, spoke on compassion. This message deserves a listen.

I’m not the kind of liberal who arose especially in the late 60s who is optimistic that government can be a tool to eradicate all poverty and injustice. Neither am I the type of conservative prevalent today that seems to reflect the attitude of self-centeredness and condescension.

I would rather challenge everyone whatever their social status to have compassion toward everyone and especially those who have suffered misfortune. That is one of the things we do to live like a disciple of Jesus.

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Facing Conflict

April 1, 2014

Do you like conflict? Like confrontation? Like to make someone else angry?

How do you deal with it?

I hate it. My basic life orientation is toward peace, calming people, making people feel good. Yet, sometimes I get into situations where I need to face conflict and confrontation. A mentor told me once, “The trouble is you’re a change agent.” Yes, if you try to make changes, you’ll upset someone. Then you have to face it.

There are at least two of those situations in my life right now…no, maybe three.

There’s a story in the Gospel of John that has double brackets around it in my translation. This story was not universally included in ancient transcripts of the Gospel. It even appeared in Luke in some ancient manuscripts. But it is a story within Jesus’ character.

This is the story of the woman caught in adultery. Jesus was teaching in the Temple. The Temple leaders brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus. Since Jesus had healed someone on the Sabbath in defiance of their interpretation of Moses’ Law. They wanted to test him according to the Law–which mandated stoning the woman (but the man was also to be punished, and he was not caught).

This is the famous “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Then he looked down at the ground and wrote (we don’t know what).

Think of the psychology. He was confronted by an angry and suspicious mob. He confronted them with a statement that made them think. But he did not stare at them accusingly. He just looked down and let them decide individually.

What a model. I’m sure something for me to learn from that. Be strong, but not provocative.

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Willpower Is Key To Success

March 26, 2014

There was a child, a marshmallow, a closed room, and a promise.

This was an experiment a couple of decades ago where a researcher curious about willpower brought a child into a room. A marshmallow was placed on a table. The researcher stated he would have to leave the room, but he would return in 15 minutes. The child could eat the marshmallow, but if the child did not eat the marshmallow, then he/she would get two marshmallows upon the return of the researcher.

Some ate the marshmallow. Some didn’t.

A follow up on as many of the children as they could find after some 20+ years revealed that the children with the willpower to delay gratification were generally more successful in life than those lacking that one strength.

Daniel Goleman writes about this research in one chapter of his latest book, Focus. It turns out that willpower is more effective a predictor of a young child’s (ages 4-6) success in life than is social class or IQ.

How did the children who succeeded in resisting the temptation do it? They diverted their minds. Those whose thoughts dwelled on the marshmallow, ate it. Those who started singing a song to themselves, or talking to themselves, or played make-believe–in other words, those who diverted their thoughts from the marshmallow–were able to resist it.

Two takeaways.

If you are a parent or grandparent or otherwise can influence a child. Teach them to divert their thoughts to something else instead of continuing to focus on the errant behavior.

Or, for you…when your thoughts start to focus on something you’d rather not think about–be it that donut that is now staring at me as I write this or some worry or anxiety–start to think about something else. The willpower lies in intentionally (yesterday’s topic) choosing to think about something different from the negative thought. I first noticed that I did this myself over 40 years ago. I testify that it works.

Help a kid. Help yourself. Learn how to develop some willpower.

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Meditations on Meditating

March 14, 2014

We are in the Christian season of Lent. As I’ve said previously, I grew up in a tradition where we did not really recognize Lent. As a kid, I knew that the Lutherans and Catholics chose something from which to abstain during Lent. I don’t even remember going to any special Ash Wednesday services.

I wonder if we practiced Advent mostly because of the commercial hype around gift giving. We had Advent calendars that marked off the days until Christmas. We had Christmas programs at church. We had Christmas programs at school (when approximately 100% of the school’s population is Christian, you could do that).

I’m meditating on Lent this year. Maybe because there is another movie out that, like the one by Mel Gibson several years ago, seems to focus on the death of Jesus. In some traditions, the “way of the Cross” is commemorated bringing to the front of mind the steps of Jesus from Pilate’s residence to the place of crucifixation.

We know the point of Christmas. It is that Jesus came into the world. For Lent, as it leads up to Good Friday and Easter there are two events. Death and resurrection. Tradition has us concentrating for 40 days (plus Sundays) on the death. We have one quick day celebrated by pastel colors and candy to remember the resurrection. And then it’s over.

Read Acts again. Read Paul’s letters. The first followers of Jesus did so because of the resurrection. That was the single most important event in our religious heritage.

Jesus said that he pointed the way to eternal life. John always uses the term in the present tense. Eternal life begins when you choose it. It also carries on to life with-God after we die–physically.

Those of us who meditate deeply understand the distinction of body and soul. We’ve experienced it.

We need a celebration to remember the resurrection all the time beginning with Easter and leading to Advent. It is our life now and our hope for the future.

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Be Intentional About What You Want

March 3, 2014

“Do you want to be well?”

Jesus asked the man with an unspecified illness at the edge of the Pool of Bethesda at the Temple that question.

We would expect the man to answer, “Yes! Of course! Please!”

Instead, the man whined and complained. “There’s no one around to help me into the water when it stirs and other people get there first.” (There was a superstition that when the water stirred in the pool an angel caused it and was there to heal the first person who dipped into it.)

Jesus evidently ignored the whining. He told the man to stand up, pick up his mat, and to go and sin no more and he would be well.

There is so much we don’t know. What was his sin that caused his illness? Indeed, what was his illness? Why did Jesus pick him? Why did Jesus ignore his whining and heal him?

None of this is the point of the story that John tells in his Gospel. But that’s OK. It’s worth contemplating.

How do we answer?

If someone walks up and offers help, what is our response? Thanks? Or some sort of whining excuse?

A guy I know uses the term “intentional” often. Pray intentionally for things, he’ll say. Pray intentionally for God to bring people into your life or bring the right circumstances into your life.

I thought about that word as I contemplated this story. Are we intentional about seeking healing? Are we intentional about seeking help for our challenges? Do we even know what we want?

Self-help gurus talk about goal setting. That can be a useful activity. However, being intentional about the kind of person we want to become or about healing us of our problems (physical, mental, emotional or spiritual) is really our first step toward a life in the Spirit.

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Where Your Heart Is

February 28, 2014

Did you see the pictures coming from the Ukraine this week about the way the ruling elite lived? The personal palace of the guy who was President for really only a short period of time? Some members of Parliament?

Maybe because I wrote some thoughts about materialism on Monday I’m more sensitive to more news about it. The Ukraine is not a poor country in the ways of some really impoverished countries are, but even in those the leaders seem to be able to amass fortunes and live in luxury.

And it’s not just there. Especially since World War II, think of how many people go off to Washington, D.C. to “serve the people” as middle class citizens and leave as wealthy, entitled people.

And it doesn’t stop there. Have you ever worked in corporations where not just the top guy or top level are enriching themselves but also managers all the way down are figuring out ways to beat the system and grab some perks or additional money.

Preachers are not immune. Even volunteers serving local organizations succumb to the temptation to use their positions to enrich themselves.

How can these people spend so much time cultivating friends and figuring out ways to enrich themselves while supposedly working for the betterment of the people who entrust them?

Well, it must be in the heart. Jesus warned us–we cannot serve two masters. And if we choose the wrong master, we will not live in eternal life. Justice is usually served to the greedy ones. But even if not in a civil sense, it is in a spiritual sense. And it is life in the Spirit that matters.

None of us are immune to the temptation. The scale may be different, but the heart is the same. We cannot serve both God and money. What do our lives say about our choice?

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Beware of Materialism

February 24, 2014

I was always aware of the subtle irony when I worked in product development at a company that made products for wealthy people. It’s not that I’m completely non-materialist–I’ve always like tools and gadgets–but that having material goods has not been a priority of mine since somewhere in my college days.

Bible Study Magazine contains an article this issue that is a story about the president of China Bible Seminary in Hong Kong. Julie Wu grew up there, but obtained a Ph.D. from Fuller Theological Seminary in California.

She discusses the difficulties of talking with people whose religion is Buddhism or ancestor worship. Today’s materialist culture in Hong Kong, which she compares to the West, presents the biggest challenge to talking to people about spiritual things.

“Materialism powerfully draws away Christians’ attention to God and our dependence on Him. It leaves us with no time to develop a closer or deeper relationship,” she says. This orientation toward life leaves one open to sin or helplessness.

Jesus, the Proverbs, and countless other teachers have preached on the problems of materialism. This is not a distinctively 20th-21st Century problem. I find it interesting that people were teaching about that some 4,000 years ago.

Every once in a while, it is good to step back and do a self-check. What am I holding on to? Are my urges pointed toward acquiring something material? Am I able to control those urges?

Early in my career, I was interviewing for a position whose compensation would have been substantially greater than what I was making. “What would you do with the additional money?” the interviewer inquired.

A good thought to ponder.

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