Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

Who Influences Your Mood?

July 16, 2015

Do you remember when Facebook researchers wanted to see if what you read in your “news” stream influences your mood?

They wanted to see what you posted after being exposed to either a stream of negative posts or a stream of positive posts. There was a huge uprising against their methodology–they essentially manipulated your news feed for research (not that they don’t manipulate it now).

They did find a correlation between what you were exposed to and what you posted.

Negative people can drag you down emotionally. Positive people build you up.

Both Paul and Proverbs warn us to be aware of whom we hang out with. Other people can influence us in ways we may not even realize.

Doesn’t it feel great to hang out with energetic, positive people? I was working at a coffee shop this morning and two women who exhibited those characteristics were involved in an animated conversation. I have no idea what they were discussing, but I think that they lifted my whole day. This was one of the most productive days I’ve had for a while.

This leads me to ponder two different things.

First–how do I become aware of the effect of someone? How quickly do I discern the attitude of the other? How quickly and decisively do I extract them from my life?

Second–how often am I the positive, energized person spreading light and energy to others? How often am I the doom-and-gloom person who drags people down? How quickly do I realize that in a conversation?

Perhaps a good practice would be to establish a trigger that makes us stop and consider our attitude and our words. We can modify them on the fly if we are only aware.

Six Things Productive People Do Every Day

July 14, 2015

This is a riff off a Silicon Valley investor (I follow many high technology bloggers and Websites) James Altucher. I think about personal disciplines a lot. I think about how developing a set of disciplines–or practices–can improve the way we live our lives. And enhance our spiritual journey.

Altucher was not thinking specifically about spiritual development. Many of his (more than) six things are (or can be) spiritual disciplines.

He says, “About six years ago I would say I was 100 percent unproductive. Everything I did would cost me in either well-being or money. By “well-being” I mean, competence, good relationships, and freedom. So when I say “cost me well-being” I would do things to specifically hurt the above three.”

Here are some good thoughts–especially when you see some of the stuff that gets passed around on Facebook. “Using that filter you can easily decide what is productive and what is not. For instance, do you respond to that negative comment on the Internet? No. Never. That person is dealing with his issues. Maybe he or she needs help from people who love him. But you don’t have to give that help. That would be unproductive.”

“A day is productive if I grow in competence. If I grow in my relationships. If I grow in my feeling of “choosing myself” – my freedom to make my own decisions in life instead of catering to the decisions and tastes of others.”

Here is his list. I love them. I may think of a couple more. What do you think? What would you add?

Reading

Reading is maybe the most productive thing you can ever do. Here’s what happens: when you die at the age of 100, you’ve just lived one 100-year life.

But when I read a book in a few days time, I just absorbed an entire life, curated, of someone I admire or respect. It’s like every book I read is a mentor. How many mentors do I have? 1000s.

Sleeping

I used to admire people who say, “I only need three hours of sleep a day.”

Only later do I find out that most of these people are borderline mentally ill. Think about the people in your life who say they only need three hours of sleep. Be honest. Maybe they are a little… (fill in the blank).

Why is sleeping productive? There’s brain science about rejuvenating neurons, etc. I read that somewhere. There are all sorts of studies that people who sleep more get sick less, have more willpower, are less at risk for cancer, etc.

But there’s something else. Dan Ariely, a guest on my podcast, says that the brain’s peak performance happens 2-4 hours after you wake up. So here’s what I do. I wake up at 5. I’ll read (or take a walk), until 7 a.m., and then I’ll start writing. Writing is the activity I love most. I’m a little kid again when I write. So I want my brain to be at it’s peak. So I’ll write from 7 – 9 a.m.

Then, I do a trick. Many days (when I can) I’ll take a 1-2 hour nap around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Then I know that two hours later my brain again will be peaking. Maybe not as much as before. But enough. So I’ll write again. This is why I do my Twitter Q&As at 3:30 every Thursday because I know my brain is supercharged then.

I know that if I do the activity I love most when my brain and body have the most energy then that will create the most value, create the most opportunities for me, improve my competence and improve my freedom (because of the opportunities generated).

Eat at Home

I don’t like to eat out. It takes so long. And then you have to wait for the bill. And I always feel bloated and I hate salads in restaurants.

So we make simple meals and we are done in about 10 minutes, two meals a day. I probably save an hour or two by not eating out or not eating junk that will bloat me and make me less productive.

Throw Stuff Out

A few months ago, my wife and I threw out almost everything we owned. What do we really need? I like reading on the Kindle. How many sheets do we need? We never have guests. How many clothes do I need? I was storing clothes I hadn’t worn in forever. Our house was totally empty. It was really nice. I felt like a breath of fresh air was going through my head.

It makes room for new things, new connections between my memories, new things for me to enjoy. Fewer things to obsess over. Cleaning the outside and cleaning the inside reduce stress. Every day I try to throw things out. It makes me feel good.

It also makes me feel like I need less. Throwing things out tells my brain, “you don’t need this anymore,” so my brain stops wanting things.

No News

Someone asked me a few weeks ago to comment on “the situation in Greece.” I guess they are going to default on their debt. So what? This gives TV people something to argue about. I’m happy for them.

People are wired to notice lions much faster than they notice apple trees. That’s why we are alive.

Since there’s no more lions chasing us down Main Street, the news tries to find other ways to trigger that fight or flight reflex.

No Meetings

I never went to a meeting where someone gave me a check at the end. I’ve never traveled to a meeting where it resulted in me making money or being happier. Most meetings can be summarized in a two-line email.

I’ll go to a meeting if it’s with my friends. That’s fun and improves my relationships. But I never go to any other meetings.

No Phone

I talk on the phone maybe once every other day. Again, the two-line email thing works in most cases.

Email

I like Neil Strauss’s approach. He has one hour a day scheduled for emails. His wife has his password so he can’t even log on to email before that hour.

Again, if you’re an employee somewhere you might be in the habit of responding quickly to email from, say, a boss. But try to cut it down to end-of-day when your brain is moving a bit slower and you don’t need it as much. Only do the thing you love most during your peak productive hours.

Experiences

We’re the sum of our experiences and not our material things. Experiences stay with us forever and build us into who we become. They add to our well-being. Material things get lost or thrown out or lose their usefulness.

A good experience for me is: where I meet friends, where I learn something new, where I learn something new that can increase my freedom.

A Mind Like Water

July 13, 2015

We read in Proverbs (14:30) “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

David Allen, author and consultant of “Getting Things Done” fame, talks about having a “mind like water.” That is actually a phrase he learned in Karate class that may come from Zen. The metaphor is of a pond of still water that absorbs the disturbance of a pebble or rock thrown in with the ripples gradually going away to nothing.

In Getting Things Done (all about personal productivity and effectiveness), this means writing down everything that you are holding in your head. Empty everything, every task, every commitment, everything you are trying to remember by writing it and putting it in a trusted space.

I’ve written before that I love Nozbe for doing this. It is a hard discipline to write things down. But when you empty your mind, you have “mind like water”–still, tranquil, waiting to handle the next disturbance.

James Altucher, a Silicon Valley investor, just wrote about productivity. He quoted Albert Einstein who once derisively stated, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk a sign of?” Altucher says, “that’s OK, Albert, I’d like an empty mind. That way I can fill it with what I choose.”

A tranquil mind means that I can concentrate on my Bible reading and other reading early in the morning.

A tranquil mind means that I can meditate with a clear focus on God far from all the distractions of clutter.

A tranquil mind means that I can come up with creative ideas for my business and my ministries.

As the wisdom teacher says, “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

Making Process Better But Destroying Goals–Leadership Lesson

July 10, 2015

Making the process better, easier, and cheaper is an important aspiration, something we continually work on—but it is not the goal . Making something great is the goal. I see this over and over again in other companies: A subversion takes place in which streamlining the process or increasing production supplants the ultimate goal, with each person or group thinking they’re doing the right thing—when, in fact, they have strayed off course. When efficiency or consistency of workflow are not balanced by other equally strong countervailing forces, the result is that new ideas—our ugly babies—aren’t afforded the attention and protection they need to shine and mature. They are abandoned or never conceived of in the first place.

The quote is from Creativity Inc., Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand In The Way of True Creativity, by Ed Catmul, president of Pixar and Disney Studios.

It’s Friday leadership day. I’ve been reading Catmul’s book on leadership. It is a fascinating look into the creative process of Pixar–and into leading a creative organization.

How many of us have been involved in a project or organization where people (leaders) keep refining the process and then refining some more, and then they lose sight of the overall goal.

I certainly have seen this in business. And in church work. And in non-profit work.

What’s the goal?

Usually it concerns wowing the customer with a product whose quality and timeliness goes far beyond customer expectations. 

Didn’t we just see Toyota do that recently when they took the eye off the goal of pleasing customers?

How many Albert “Chainsaw Al” Dunlaps have you seen trying to cut a company to prosperity? This “Rambo in Pinstripes” destroyed Scott Paper, Sunbeam, and who knows how many other by his terrible management.

A leader works tirelessly to assure everyone affiliated with the company or organization or committee is firmly focused on the end goal. They never forget whom they are serving and what quality consists of.

Another part of what Catmul is talking about is fostering new ideas. Don’t let the process drown out creativity.

I recommend this book for leaders and creative types (who should be all of us).

Prayer Beyond Words

July 8, 2015

 “In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.” – Mark 1:35

One thing that has impressed me almost from the first time I read the Gospels is Jesus’ discipline. He went away to pray regularly. He attended meetings at the synagogue “as was his custom”.
In this story, his closest disciples were surprised. By the end of his ministry, they understood.

In the faith versus works debate, I do not consider spiritual disciplines or spiritual practices as works. Although, they can be. It depends, of course, upon attitude.

Did you ever here the phrase while growing up, “Please assume an attitude of prayer”? In the protestant tradition that I grew up in, this meant bowing your head and closing your eyes.

The attitude of prayer is more than posture.

T.S. Eliot, the American/British poet, wrote, “And prayer is more than an order of words, the conscious occupation of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying.”

Someone asks you to pray. Your stomach tightens; your mind races. What will I say? Will I sound stupid?

Praying aloud is comforting to others, but that is merely scratching the surface of prayer.

The Renovare Spiritual Formation publication of the Bible discusses the variety of spiritual disciplines. Of prayer, it says,, “Interactive conversation with God about what we and God are thinking and doing together.”

Some of my most meaningful prayers have no words. God listens for my breath. I listen for God’s.

What Is The State of Your Heart

July 8, 2015

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” — Jeremiah 17:9-10

I heard John Ortberg once refer to Jesus as the first cardiologist for he was always concerned with the state of your heart.

We should all be concerned with the state of our own heart.

Where is it today? What is it full of?

Is it fearful? Look deep inside at it. Ponder. What is it that I am afraid of? Sit down and have a conversation with God. Lay out your fears before him. Then listen. God will lead you to a writing or will whisper a message that lets you know that with God in your life, you really have nothing to fear. You have a life beyond this one.

Perhaps your heart is full of bitterness? You have suffered a wrong, or at least believe you have suffered a wrong. People are bad. They are all out to get you. Your life is shriveled. People avoid you. God is there to heal the bitter heart and bring warmth.

Perhaps your heart is filled with joy. You smile easily. You are comfortable with yourself and your relationship with God. And God smiles with you, spreading the joy to all you meet.

Perhaps your heart is filled with love. Everyone you meet says, “There goes a true follower of Jesus.” And their lives are enriched.

Be Ye Doers of the Word

July 7, 2015

Paul’s work in writing Romans results in his mature thinking assembled into one letter.

He starts with why we need God. He continues with how through Jesus we have access to God’s grace. Then he concludes “If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and if you believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, then you will be saved.”

That was in chapter 10. Not satisfied to stop with the basics of spiritual formation, Paul continues with many examples of how we continue our spiritual formation journey through how we live.

I told yesterday how I struggled with Romans 13 in my younger years. But if you read the first several verses of the chapter you can see where Paul was going. Government is instituted by God to create order in society punishing the wicked and upholding the good. Insofar as government does that, it is fulfilling its work as ordained by God.

The 20th Century witnessed the rise to power of the idea that government should take a much more active role in promoting the welfare of the citizens.

It’s kind of like we transferred the idea of God as the “big vending machine in the sky” as when Janis Joplin sang, “Oh, Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz” to the idea of “Oh [insert name of capital city], won’t you give me…”

Before you jump all over me on a liberal or conservative slant, step back and look. From my perspective as merely an observer, I see people of all political stripes in almost all countries with their hands out to their governmental leaders at every level looking for money or favor. Business people want tax breaks or preference for roads and sewers. On the other hand is the dependency we’ve created with the welfare state.

It is a human condition; not a political one.

From God’s point of view, we should obey that government that provides justice and order so that we may go about God’s work in us for our spiritual formation and to teach and to love our neighbor.

I think part of the church’s role in loving our neighbor is not abdicating our role to the government. When a plague hit Rome in the early years of the church, it became a time of great growth in the church. Why? Well, the brave heroes who governed Rome took off for the hills leaving behind women, children, sick, and elderly. Who took care of them? Christ followers left their hiding and cared for the sick and weak.

Should we work to change governments that fail to live up to God’s work for them? Of course we should. Just look to the example of the prophets. Even Jesus tackled the problem of his local government leaders (the Jews, not the Romans).

Should we work to tackle some of the social problems we’ve abdicated to government? Yes! I know the theology that says that all we should do as followers of Christ is to preach. But I cannot find that theology anywhere in the New Testament.

As James instructed, “Be ye also doers.”

July 4, Read The Constitution, And Read Romans 13

July 6, 2015

We just completed the holiday where Americans celebrate the birth of the nation. In some ways it is a strange celebration. Many people celebrate patriotism to the country at the same time that they continue to act rebelliously toward the government. I guess that’s just people.

My typical recommendation, especially for Americans, is to take a few minutes to actually read the US Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Many people talk like they know these, but they certainly don’t. I’d also recommend reading The Federalist Papers. Really smart people wrote those.

But then there are Paul’s thoughts on government.

Romans 13 has been one of the most difficult passages for me to comprehend. My formative years involved the injustices perpetrated by our various governments toward black people and other minorities. Then add getting involved in reckless adventurism of foreign wars, and I was not a proponent of the goodness of government.

My attitude was, and remains, peace and justice. And our governments in the 50s and 60s did not practice that.

But Paul wrote that we must be subject to governments. He firmly believed that governments were ordained by God to provide law and order to society. He himself proudly proclaimed his Roman citizenship as well as his citizenship in God’s kingdom.

I find it interesting that, given his Jewish background, he never advocated that the church also serve as the government. He seemed to be comfortable living in the various tensions of the day—Christ-follower, subject to government, living in a multi-cultural environment.

Governments do have a role. While thinking about this post I happened skim the Wall Street Journal. There is the crisis in Greece where a government has promised much and now does not have the money to pay for it. Huge debt in Puerto Rico. The Dominican Republic government figuring out how to deal with its Haitian neighbors who sought refuge there. Middle Eastern governments dealing with extremists. Eastern European governments dealing with Russia. Southeast Asia governments dealing with China.

There are people who think all these problems are easy, but they are not. And we need our governments to sort things out.

People such as the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect see government as idolatry. But they must have missed the first part of Romans 13.

Christ-followers have an obligation to obey the governments who are performing their God-ordained function. Of course, tyrannies, corruption, injustice, evil are not to be tolerated. In which case it is our obligation to work for peace and justice for all.

Trust And Respect Are Earned

July 3, 2015

“I should be respected because of my position,” the manager told the board out of frustration. Knowledge was even spread outside the organization of the lack of respect and trust in that manager by those inside and outside the organization.

My response was, “Respect, as with trust, must be earned. One does not have it inferred because of a high ranking position.”

Indeed, years later that individual earned that respect and trust as a leader.

There is even little respect for the office of the President of the United States judging by my Facebook “news” feed. If the President cannot command respect due to his position, being even subject to lies and slander, how much respect can your committee chair demand from that position?

Do you do what you say? That is the key question leading to trust. Beyond that, do you act and decide ethically considering the situations of all stakeholders? If so, then you will earn respect. 

I write this and sound like I know what I’m saying. But…it really challenges me to look back at my leadership times–both the successful and not so successful. It’s easy for me to access my memory of former bosses, company presidents, and the like. I can remember where trust and respect broke down. The challenge is when my actions went over the top or when I was quiet when I should have spoken.

How often have I fallen short! It does no good to point to others when I am challenged. If someone loses my respect and trust, I tend to just drift away (or run as fast as possible).

Perhaps there are two tasks for us. First, we need to always be aware of the impact of our decisions and actions. Second, we could find someone drifting the wrong direction in this situation and mentor them back onto the road to trust and respect.

We Are Spiritual Beings

July 1, 2015

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Teilhard is one of my favorite philosophers/theologians. He was a Jesuit priest and scientist. He was often on the wrong side of Roman orthodoxy on certain matters. 

This quote just popped up in my reading. I started to contemplate on it. 

What if… What if we lived as if we were spiritual beings? What if we stepped outside our human wrapper and saw life from a spiritual perspective?

Would we get so wrapped up in worrying about what others are doing? Would we take a broader view of issues? Could we stop being as narrow minded as we often are and start seeing the world and its inhabitants more as God sees it (us)?

Would we be so insistent about formulating rules for others to follow in order for them to prove to us that they are “Christian” or “saved”?

Would we see the spiritual side of people? Discern the evil from the good and shun the evil?

We would live like Paul describes in Galatians. Or like Jesus described in the Sermon on the Mount. Or like Isaiah or Micah described.

Be free, Paul said in Galatians. Live in the spirit, receive God’s grace, and live a life of freedom.

And what is freedom? Living in the spirit and doing God’s will is freedom.