Posts Tagged ‘attention’

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You Get What You Create or What You Allow

August 1, 2013

I’ve been contemplating on Henry Cloud’s latest book, Boundaries for Leaders. There is a lot of research in that book. And a lot of wisdom.

At one point, he says, “Leaders will get a combination of what they create and what they allow.”

I thought, wow, this applies in so many areas.

Take raising children. Do we create an environment and expectations for them to grow and succeed? Or, do we allow them to do whatever whim comes along? Or, a combination–we create certain structures and allow other things?

Leaders in organizations do this. Same types of questions. Do we create an environment, expectations and structures for people (and the organization) to grow and succeed? Or, do we permit too much such that vision is lost, ethics are cast aside, and the whole organization crashes?

What about our personal life? We lead in that, too–I hope. Do we create structures and expectations in our own lives such that we grow and succeed? We have access to writings on the Spiritual Disciplines. These have been thought out and written so that we have a guide toward establishing the proper Spiritual structure in our daily lives so that we continue to grow in Spiritual maturity.

Attention is key

Then Cloud hits on one of my pet ideas–attention. “Brain researchers say that ‘attention’ is like a magic key that unlocks higher-order brain circuitry. ”

We must place our attention on the things we wish to create in our leadership and our lives. Then we do things with intention, that is, on purpose. Consciously. Things don’t “just happen.” We cause things to happen and construct structures to create opportunities to succeed.

By the way, the link to Amazon is not an affiliate link. I recommend so many books, I probably should sign up for affiliate status. I bet I could add $10 or so to my income 😉 And I certainly recommend this book. And if you’ve never read Cloud, try his other books. They are all excellent.

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Peace and Strength

July 29, 2013

Peace

Our six-year-old grandson is visiting–his first time alone with us. Somehow he and his grandma got into a conversation of peace. “What’s peace?” he asked. “The absence of conflict–when there is no war,” she replied.

That is certainly one definition of peace. But contrast to another conversation during a small study group of adult men. We are studying a book, “Not a Fan: Becoming a completely committed follower of Jesus” by Kyle Idleman. The subject of inner peace came up. Someone said, “Inner peace will see you through the bad times.

Peace can actually be sort of like an action verb. Not something defined by what is missing (absence of conflict). It is actually something that can be practiced. It is part of living with God (or Jesus, or the Spirit–as far as I’m concerned it’s all the same thing). It’s something that comes along for the ride when you practice the Spiritual Disciplines of study, meditation, prayer, worship, celebration and so forth.<br>

But when someone mentioned that it is a force that will see you through tough times, I immediately thought about strength. There must be a relationship between the two.

Strength

We think of personal strength as muscle force–or in my case lack of. But another way of looking at strength is that resolve that keeps you going through adversity.

Someone who battles cancer and emerges a victor we call strong. Someone who can hold onto their moral values in the face of a group that wants to do something against those values we call strong. Someone who can face any enemy–illness, opponent in conflict, a bully, a nasty boss, whatever–with calm and resolve, we call strong.

Work together

I believe that Eastern martial arts teach that you need that inner peace and calmness to fight well. Your mind must be calm. You have practiced sufficiently that you are confident in your muscle responses. You have absolute focus in the moment and on your opponent.

Paul often used sports analogies. I think he would have thought the same thing when he described the inner peace that comes from being at one with God (or God living in you). God works with your strengths that you might even not realize you have.

I think there is a Bill Gaither song that goes, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.” Paul would have like that. That’s what he did. And that’s what he intended for us to do.

 

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My Security Lies in Jesus

July 22, 2013

I’m still thinking about fears, worries. Although I try to capture a personal theme from the mascot of Mad magazine (I have not read it for years, but it was one of my favorites as an adolescent), Alfred E. Neuman, who said, “What!? Me worry?”

As an aside, we think American politics are bad now–good ol’ Alfred garnered several votes for President in 1968.

It is oh, so, predictable that race is part of the discussion of the whole Zimmerman affair. Conservatives seem to try to downplay race. Liberals seem to play it up. I keep returning to the words of Martin Luther King and wish we could move beyond race.

Unfortunately, we cannot. I think that this is not only an American problem.

Race remains an underlying tension. Many black men have told me about hearing car door locks being activated as they cross the street. I recently heard about a conversation at a gathering of “respectable, white, Christian” ladies where they quite frankly ascribed bad qualities to black people as an entity all the while disclaiming “I am not a racist.” Sorry, they are.

For black people, then, the issue becomes personal. Many have experienced the slights and innuendos. For most of us “white” people, the issue is theoretical. I wish it would go away, but it lingers.

Fear for your life had to be prevalent in Jesus’ time. He took as subjects for his stories things that people would readily understand. When he told the story of the Good Samaritan, there did not seem to be a reaction about the violence of the robbers. They all traveled from city to city in groups for protection. At the end of the Gospels, we learn that Peter carried a sword. Nothing is made of that simple fact–only in his use of it. I guess they needed some protection at times.

Jesus taught us that security really comes through Him and life in the Spirit.

For some reason in all our discussions in public life and private devotions, we keep losing our focus on the real source of life and security. Paul writing in Galatians further told us that if we are free in Jesus’ grace, why slip back into the old life of rules and worry.

Indeed.

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How to Pray

February 17, 2011

How do you pray? What do you visualize, if anything? I think that it was Donald Miller who gave me the picture of God as some sort of giant vending machine. Put your request in, pick up the solution from the little tray at the bottom. Do you picture God as a giant Dad to whom you ask for the keys to the car so you can go out?

I have hit the sections on prayer in Julian’s Reflections and she has several meaningful observations. Like contemplatives before her (including Paul who talked about being one with Christ), she builds on her experiences and discusses prayer as union with God.

So, when you pray, are you just looking from a goody from the vending machine in the sky–or are you resting in the bosom of God. You can slow down, breathe, open yourself in trust to God, and let Him just infuse your being. Think rather than machine but a tea infusion that lets the tea totally mix with the hot water.

Sometimes we’re in a rush. We just need a friend to talk to. If you’re in a rush, that’s the best signal to slow down and take time with God. If you need a friend, that’s OK, just take the time to settle in with the friend–kind of like meeting your friend for coffee and taking a little time to connect before sharing all your problems.

Julian has another observation. When you pray, conform your soul to God. She says if you try to make God conform to your soul, it won’t work–because God is never changing. People of my generation in the US (called Boomers) have been great at trying to manipulate everything to conform to their wishes. I see people trying to conform God to their own ideas or wishes.

No, God is God. God is the creator, not the created. God existed before humans, and will exist after humans have disappeared. The best thing is to quit trying to make God into something and just rest in Him. In that way, the fruits of the Spirit will grow in your life and you’ll find true happiness.

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Stay Pure Guard Against Infiltrators

February 15, 2011

Do you ever watch what things and emotions and thoughts insinuate themselves into your life? Sometimes much time has passed before you realize that some thought or obsession has taken control over you. God called this activity prostitution in the Old Testament. He was always complaining that the Hebrews were prostituting themselves.

When they entered into the “Promised Land,” God told them to wipe it clean of other people. He knew the weakness of a man for a woman. And He knew that women are typically the bearers and pro-creators of culture. Therefore, He knew that if the Hebrew men had access to the women of other tribes, they would begin to marry them. The women in turn would bring their gods and culture into the house.

And, sure enough, it happened. Time after time. The men never learned (OK, I can hear all the women reading this…). So God even sent “crazy” guys, like Hosea who married a prostitute then tried to make her an honest woman symbolizing God’s “marrying” the Hebrews in their prostitution and trying to make them pure God-followers.

It didn’t work. The people didn’t listen to Hosea at the time and followed their prostitution into destruction. First the end of the Northern Kingdom of Israel, then the Southern Kingdom of Judah. Pffft. Gone.

So, what “foreign gods” have you prostituted yourself with? Pride? Envy? Obsession with sex, alcohol, drugs, TV? What diverts your attention away from God? Recognize it and prune it. Seek help from a friend or counselor if need be.

If you love someone, you pay attention to them–that is, you give them your attention. To live with-God, pay attention to Him. Don’t let the outsiders in.

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Waiting on God’s Arrival

February 7, 2011

“The second is that we await Him steadfastly because of His love, without grumbling or struggling against Him, until our life’s end.” Julian of Norwich’s second teaching.

This sounds almost like a paradox of the first teaching. Look at the verbs. The first is to seek. The second is to wait. The first is active, the second sounds as if it is passive. But I don’t think that is the meaning. Waiting is an active verb, too.

Imagine a hunter in the woods and meadows. He is seeking his prey. That means he has determined what his prey will be (deer, elk, pheasant, rabbits, whatever). He goes to an area where that prey is known to live. He looks for the right habitat and finds the most likely places to find his prey. That is similar to the seeking that Julian taught in her first saying. Go out and look for God in places where you would expect Him to be living.

Then, you must wait. But in waiting is the anticipation of finding your prey. All of your senses are at work. Do you see anything? Hear anything? Smell anything? Taste? Feel? And your emotional “senses” must also be tuned into what you are waiting on.

Waiting is active, but it is also tiring. It may get cold. You may get uncomfortable. You may get discouraged. Will the prey every show? Is it all in vain?

If so, do not grumble and complain. Maintain your vigilance. It is tiring to be always on alert, but you must carry on. And Julian says that you must maintain that state of watchful waiting until the end of your life. You never know when God may speak to you again. You must be ready. You must be receptive.

When you wait, be vigilant.

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Listening For the Call

January 18, 2011

“Can you hear me, now?” asks the mobile phone technician in the series of TV commercials. Getting heard. That’s what we all want, right? We are flooded with messages in every media we encounter. Then we meet people, and they just want to say what’s on their mind. In politics, it seems that everyone wants their opinion heard–even if there is no tainting of the opinion by facts.

I have a fault–OK, lot’s of them. Sometimes I tell more than I need to in a conversation once I get started with a story. The other day I was talking to someone and by the time she’d talked to someone else and it eventually returned to me, the story was completely changed. It was like that old parlor game “telephone.”

But–who’s listening? Folklore holds that the famous baseball catcher and manager Yogi Berra said “You can hear a lot just by listening.”

The first thing about listening is acknowledging in your own mind that there is another person. Then you need to focus on that person. And treat what they say as important–indeed, the most important thing in the world at that moment.

I’m teaching from Daniel for a short time. I really like him. If I could pick interesting people with whom I’d like to spend an evening or a day in conversation, he’d be up at the top of my list. One thing he did–he listened to people and he listened to God. Even at one point where he was troubled and another where he was perplexed by what God said, he still listened.

David talked about Abraham and Sarah Sunday. There are two other people who listened to God. They didn’t always believe what He said. They were quite old and God maintained that he would eventually send a child–they didn’t believe Him any more. But it happened.

It’s time to polish up those listening skills. Pay attention to the next person you encounter. Remain open to God’s voice–and if he talks, please listen.

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Pride will drive you crazy

January 11, 2011

I was teaching from Daniel last week. It’s always amazing how threads of thought come together. I’ve been pondering whether much of the trouble and strife we have in the country today is caused by pride and then I’m asked to teach from this particular book. My text was Chapter 4 where the king has a dream. He is troubled, but he doesn’t know why. No one can interpret the dream, until Daniel (who is about to be killed along with all other educated men) says, Wait. I can help.

Now, my daughter earned a master’s in psychology. Me, I am just a perpetual student–but not in schools. I’ve read most of Freud, all of Jung, all of the Bible (more than once), and a lot more. She says that a dream is just a bunch of random neurons firing over night probably dredging up random thoughts you’ve had during the day.

My studies (and personal experience to some degree) say that occasionally a dream is more than a dream. (Carl Jung, who studied these things and was much more wise than his followers, once said, sometimes a dream is just a dream. But then he studied a lot of dreams.)

When you are in a position of great authority, your thoughts are on things that are beyond everyday living. You are concerned with history, your importance, what people are plotting, and especially in the ancient world, God. Early leaders right up through the rulers of Rome and continuing into the Middle Ages’ kings and Popes would get the idea that they were, indeed, God himself.

So, the king is full of those thoughts–we would say full of himself, or maybe something soft, brown and squishy–and goes to sleep. He has a numinous dream–one from God. Paraphrasing Daniel’s analysis, “You’d better change your ways, or you’ll go crazy.”

He didn’t; and he did.

Later, when the king was restored to health, he praised God because he had experienced the mighty power of God.

Just so, do we all today–and all those loud-mouthed pundits on TV and radio, and so on–need to go through a season (or seven seasons like this king) of insanity before coming to our senses? Acknowledge your pride and turn your life away from it.

The best advice I’ve seen so far about this is to live only in the present moment without dwelling either on the past or the future but focused only on walking with God during this minute. If you are doing that, then there is no place for the ego to assert itself and get you into trouble.

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Work Your Way Out of Spiritual Darkness

November 15, 2010

After spiritual highs come spiritual lows. After Jesus’ baptism and vision came 40 days in the wilderness full of temptations. St. John of the Cross wrote “Dark Night of the Soul” describing the phenomenon. Happens to all of us. Sometimes we just don’t “feel” the presence of God.

How do you get over that feeling and get back to the with-God life? Thomas a Kempis writes that you should do good works. Modern psychologists hold that you should consciously act the way you want to be and feel, and it will come. I wrote earlier about looking for opportunities to start the day by doing something good for someone. It turns out that that is good for your soul.

You are not saved through your works–God’s grace takes care of that. You don’t want to be like the early American Puritans who held that God picks some and not others. You don’t know if you’re one, but you don’t want the community to know that you’re not in the chosen, so you act like you are. No, those are false trails.

It’s simply that you can’t trust emotions. You have accepted God’s grace. But you just don’t feel it every day, every minute. What you do, is look for that first opportunity to do something good for someone. As soon as you do, then it’s easier to do it again. And that will help you get your focus back on God–where it belongs.

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No Freedom Without Constraints

November 13, 2010

I was listening to, of all things, a podcast of a speech on computer programming. The speaker brought in illustrations from literature, among other things. The basic point was that you have freedom to create only when you are focused by constraints. You have freedom to creatively express your thoughts once you choose a form–for example, writing in haiku or sonnet forms comprises a constraint, but it also frees your mind to express your thought.

Adolescents are fond of trying out the idea of freedom of action without constraints. When I observe people, I sometimes think that there are way too many adults who have not progressed beyond those adolescent urges. Too many choices leads to chaos, while narrowing your options leads to freedom.

God is wise in these matters. Once again, the adolescent mind says, “I should be free to do whatever I want. There should be no constraints on my thoughts and actions.” But God says, “If you live within the constraints that I have established for a good and fruitful life, then you will truly achieve freedom and life.” It’s a little like a paradox.

You have to experience it for yourself in order to understand the truth. But subduing your emotional reactions to events and your adolescent urges to satisfy every sensual desire, enables a life with God where you are free to change your life and the lives of those you meet.

If you live a life in nature, you will be tossed from emotion to emotion, desire to another unfulfilled desire. But if you live a life in the Spirit, then you bring focus and attention to your life and you are free to live a fulfilled life of peace, joy and service.

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