We’re Talking People Here

January 29, 2015

The conversation eventually got around to those people. You know, those people that the Bible says are sinners. Except that, those in the group expressing that dislike of the group of those people didn’t stop to consider that they are also “those people”–people who sin.

They don’t recognize that “those people” is actually just a label used to refer to people sharing a trait of some sort.

Those people, that group, is actually composed of individual people. Struggling individual people. Each with their own story. Each with their own needs.

Marketing people have found it useful to group people with similar interests in order to target a message promoting their product or service.

But followers of Jesus? Indeed, Jesus himself? He didn’t group people. He dealt with individual people, people who were hurting, people who needed the encouragement to live a fulfilled life, people who needed healing.

Maybe a Samaritan woman. Maybe a Roman army officer. Maybe even a Pharisee or two.

And I? I remained silent. Allowing the stereotype of a group of “those people” to go unchallenged. Rather than pointing out that I have friends and relatives among “those people”. Friends and relatives who need someone to reach out with friendship, understanding, yes, even love.

They do not need the accusing finger pointed at them by a self-righteous, if well-meaning, person.

Love your neighbor, Jesus said. Who is our neighbor? Our neighbor is that individual person we meet along the way.

Make this also a lesson for me to take care about grouping people. Each is an individual.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Compassion | Leave a Comment »

Try Easy to Find Happiness

January 28, 2015

The very first time I was introduced to the “personal development guru” genre was in the late 1970s. The guy (I forget his name, now) “gave” us all Day-Timers for organizing our tasks, goals and time, taught us Transcendental Meditation (“ram” the sound of the third chokra, or energy center in the body, the seat of power), and left us with a thought, “try easy.”

By that he meant try to achieve, but take it easy. If it doesn’t happen, so be it. Work hard, but allow space for the unexpected.

Someone recently wrote about chronically unhappy people. One contributor was attempting (or thinking you can) control your life.

Ever notice people who are “control freaks?” They try to control all the outcomes of their life. They will be successful, the boss, rich, happy. They write goals and then try to micromanage the effort to control the outcome.

Many not only try to control every outcome of their life, they also try to control your life. They like to tell everyone else how to live second-by-second. They are a joy to have around—not.

Do you know controlling people—either aggressively so or passive-aggressively so—who say they aren’t? They say things like, “I know God is in control,” yet their lives betray their lack of confidence in that statement.

Life goals are good. Although writing a goal such as “I’ll lose 15 pounds this year” is laudable. But if you try controlling the achievement of that goal through will power, you’ll wind up unhappy.

If you see yourself as becoming fit, trim and 15 pounds lighter, and then look at your lifestyle and change some habits, then you’ll find yourself changing and maybe achieving that “try easy” frame of mind. You have established a habit of not snacking on high calorie junk. A habit of going to the gym. A habit of the group exercise class. If you miss one? So what, I’m in the habit of going and I return next day.

Same with deepening your spiritual life. There are so many people who talk about “loving the Lord” or “being a Christian”, yet they seem so unhappy.

Maybe just deciding to drop the burden of trying to control themselves and others that they may not even realize they are carrying will be the first step of freedom from their own self-imposed control. Maybe a new habit develops of thinking about others first. Not to control what they do, but to understand what they need and be there to help.

A change in attitude toward control will change the permanent orientation of your life from unhappy to joyful.

Try easy.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Attitude | 2 Comments »

Practice Treating Your Body Well

January 27, 2015

Paul, the apostle, often used athletic metaphors for training for spiritual life or as an example of spiritual life.

Even beyond that, he talked about how our bodies are the temple of the spirit. We can only vaguely understand how revolutionary the statement would have been in the first century. Temple? That was the huge compound build atop a high hill where God dwelled and sacrifices were offered.

As a follower of the risen Messiah, Paul figured out that when the spirit came as Jesus promised that it needed a home. But the Temple was now history. The home was the human body and the ekklesia.

Is everyone’s New Years Resolution to lose weight? 15 in15 as our pastor has been preaching?

Let me be practical. Give up drinking sodas. Regular or diet. Both whet your appetite for even more sugar. The only time you can use that in your body is following intense physical effort–really intense. Otherwise, stay away from soda.

I think the best thing that the fast food restaurants have done lately is provide unsweetened ice tea. If you have to eat there, at least you don’t have to drink the soda.

If my vision of myself is that as the temple of God’s spirit, then I will intentionally consider what I bring into my body to keep it as clean and strong as possible.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Coaches Help Us Train

January 26, 2015

Athletes even at the highest levels practice constantly. They train both their bodies and their minds. They intentionally develop “muscle memory” such that the muscles act and react in the heat of the competition in the correct way just as trained.

Minds must also be trained. Focus on the important things is required. The higher the level of competition, the more intense the focus. An offensive lineman in American football may be trained to focus just on the position of the feet of his opponent whom he must block before the ball is put into play.

Many athletes have talent. Many also never develop that talent. They don’t practice. They fail to focus. They don’t care to learn.

There are few things more disappointing than to see someone who has talent, gifts, and opportunity, and fails to achieve what could have been.

Often it is simply due to laziness. They just don’t do the work. Sometimes, it is due to a misplaced or mistimed word. Someone says something negative that the person just cannot overcome.

If we know someone who is not developing, it is our duty to mentor that person. Say the appropriate word. Give a supporting comment. Or give the appropriate “kick in the pants” to get them off the lazy, unfocused path.

At the end of Chapter 8 of 1 Corinthians, Paul talks about being aware of our brothers. Instead of thinking “it’s all about me,” he encourages us not to do something (or say something) that would cause a brother or sister to fail. I think this applies often to us today. We know the power of words and relationship. We know that by considering others instead of just being wrapped up in our own cares we can save many a person from a path of destruction and despair; instead freeing them to fulfill their potential.

All great athletes have great coaches who guide them; all Christ-followers need a mentor to encourage them.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Attention, Leadership | Leave a Comment »

Leadership For Tense Meetings

January 23, 2015

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” — Jim Rohn

Have you ever participated in a meeting where decisions must be made to move an organization (department, business, church, association) forward? And there are at least two strong points of view regarding the direction of the decision. Sometimes these decisions are so important that the outcome will determine the direction of the organization for years to come. And the goal is to not let the organization splinter.

Have you ever had to lead such a meeting?

This quote from author/consultant Jim Rohn hit a couple of items that directly affect the successful outcome of such a meeting.

Let’s tackle thoughtful. The leader beforehand must understand the necessary outcome of the decision. She must also understand the competing points of view. The leader must be able to fairly summarize for the group the issue and each side. This starts the conversation on a level platform focusing on results, not personalities.

Then there is strong. Taking control of the meeting means taking control of speakers in the sense of encouraging people to speak, but to speak civilly and orderly. The strong leader intervenes to keep the conversations focused. She assures that while only one person at a time speaks all sides are heard and all questions asked.

The leader is not rude. The meeting will take its tone from the leader. A weak leader relinquishes control of the meeting to the loudest voices. Meanwhile, a rude leader cuts off people in mid-sentence, makes cutting comments, ignores some perspectives. On the other hand, he is courteous. Has a firm but gentle voice. Treats every member with respect. So this category also includes kind and not weak.

There are times when humor is not only appropriate, but also it lightens the tension and, like a deep breath, allows everyone space to calm and refocus.

I’ve seen these discussions go downhill in a hurry where just about everyone goes away angry. I’ve seen these meetings go well.

This is a lot like the work of a professional soccer referee who successfully orchestrates the game, but in the end all the focus is on the players. And the players determine the outcome. The focus of a successful leader is on everyone else, not on themselves.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Leadership | Leave a Comment »

God Works Through Us

January 22, 2015

While I’m studying Paul through the scholarship of N.T. Wright, there was a thought so powerful that I stopped reading. Made a note. Then just paused and contemplated for a while.

Paul thought that God worked through us. God revealed his glory through Jesus. Jesus expected his work after his ascension to be done through us.

Hit pause. Hit rewind. Hit play.

What does that mean?

It surely sounds like an awesome responsibility, doesn’t it,

What have we done with our time? I have a lot of time to look back on. Some of you more. What use have we made of that time to do God’s work?

I was just listening to Andy Stanly talk about making a wise use of our time. Our time “keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future.” (Steve Miller Band)

Our pastor is in the middle of a series on setting goals. Goals are OK. But really, what counts is our schedule. What do we do with that time?

Better than a goal of “I’ll invite 100 people to church this week,” would be, “I’ll set aside 30 minutes, and write it in ink on my calendar, three days a week to call people to invite into a relationship.” The key–write it, in ink.

Try getting out a calendar–paper, digital, whatever. Get the one-week view. Block out what you do each day in the week.

5:30, arise, fix coffee, get out my Bible
5:45-6:00, read Bible
6:00-6:15, pray, meditate
7:00-8:00, exercise/workout/run whatever
then, work, phone calls, planning, time with family

Take a look at where your week goes now. Then plan with intention to structure a week where you attend to your spiritual health, your physical health, your relationships, your God work, your community service.

Grab control of your time. Don’t let it slip away.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Attention, Disciplines, Service | Leave a Comment »

Healing Divisions in the Church

January 21, 2015

Paul was concerned deeply about unity in his little chain of ekklesia gatherings. I think many of his “rules” were written with the deep knowledge of human interactions that would cause divisions, drifting, jealousy, and the like.

I’m finishing N.T. Wright’s Paul and the Faithfulness of God where he expounds at length on the subject of unity.

Recently I was with a small group of people who had perpetuated and instigated divisiveness in their organization.

I open up scripture and read from the first two chapters of 1 Corinthians.

If you are not familiar with that section, I urge you to read it for yourself. This is one place where Paul really expresses his human disappointment at people who spread divisiveness.

I meet with a group of men on Tuesday mornings. With around 14 of us, we may have 15 different theologies (OK, that’s a joke, probably only 3 or 4). We do all agree on certain fundamentals–especially the resurrection of Jesus. That is the core gospel. And with it, the coming of the spirit to feed us and guide us. And we can work through some diversity of opinion without losing our heads and dividing the group in hatred and bad feelings.

That’s the core of Paul’s message. We are all to come together in great diversity (for Paul to go to the lengths to describe it as much as he does, you just have to know it was revolutionary). Male and female; Jew and Gentile; free and slave. All are one in Jesus the Messiah.

He had so much trouble in his small groups, I wonder what he would think today about trying to achieve unity among millions of Christ followers.

He’d probably just get on his jet and try to visit everyone and preach the gospel. And write more letters. I imagine that he would be strongly emotional in the letters today. What do you think?

Note: I wrote on this topic a few days ago. Obviously dear to my heart right now is the achievement of unity through diversity.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Leadership | Leave a Comment »

Love Language of Receiving

January 20, 2015

He then realized that his wife’s “love language” was receiving. So he decided to give her something every day for a week, and then to give her something every week for a year.

John Ortberg mentioned as an example this story from a book called “Five Love Languages” or something like that. Disclaimer: I have not read the book.

But that example really threw me. A love language of receiving? I suppose that everyone likes to receive a gift. Even me, although I have few wants or needs. But, as a way of life?!

I have another word or two for that “language” or life attitude. Spoiled. Self-centered. Self-absorbed.

Maybe I’ve taken the illustration too far. Maybe there is a nuance I missed or that Ortberg didn’t mention.

It seems to me through observation and reading that one of the major problems of our times–and this isn’t only America–is just that self-absorption or self-centeredness. I’m amazed at the number of times in a day I can observe examples of people thoughtlessly unaware of others around them. (Oh, and you can tell a self-centered person by asking them–they’ll think that there is nothing wrong in the example I just cited.)

But there is a spiritual gift, agape, that entails giving. I don’t know what we learned about the wife, really, from Ortberg’s example. It is obvious that at least one person made the leap from self-centered to thinking of someone else.

For that, the apostle Paul would rejoice. He taught that many times.

Receive as a blessing; give to be a blessing.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Compassion, Learning, Service | 3 Comments »

Diversity Is Good Celebrate Difference

January 19, 2015

Have you noticed how often on Facebook that there are many people who talk about being individualist and celebrate political comments of individuality, yet they are all the same? They conform to common thoughts and opinions. Pretty much dress alike, too, depending a little upon age.

I heard Dr. King speak once. He was a classmate of our campus chaplain at Ohio Northern University. Dr. Udy invited him, and he came and spoke. We were almost all white. We were almost all Republican–in an era where that was becoming a code-word for being against civil rights. But he spoke well.

And, I, too, shared that dream that all people would be accepted for their character, not for their race, gender, religion. It has been a long process. It’s been 50 years. We’re closer, but, as you can see from Facebook postings where evidently people feel free to spout off about anything, we’re still far away.

Here is yet another study that shows why you should promote diversity and legitimate sharing on your teams–whether at work, church, civic organizations. The article discussing it is called, Sensitivity, Women, Sharing: What Makes Teams Smart, by Orion Jones. This one dealt more with women, but it shares results with other earlier studies that include race and ethnic diversity along with gender.

When teams of professionals are composed of more women, share ideas in equal part, and are emotionally perceptive, they make better decisions and find better solutions to problems.

As part of an emerging science of effective teamwork, researchers at MIT and Carnegie Mellon University have been asking why some teams, like some individuals, are measurably smarter than others.

The smartest teams were distinguished by members which contributed more equally to the discussion, were better at reading complex emotional states in lab settings, and were composed of more women (possibly because women are better at identifying emotion).

I try to the best of my ability to treat all people the same. I give them a chance to prove whether I should continue to associate with them, trust them, or do business with them all on an individual basis. Let’s celebrate the memory of Martin Luther King, Jr. by just quietly accepting others and quietly promoting diversity in our teams and groups.

 

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Ethics | Leave a Comment »

New Year Practice To Simplify

January 16, 2015

Daniel, the one who has a book in the Bible named for his story, found himself as a young man in the palace of the most powerful king of the time. He was surrounded by luxury, wealth, rich food.

He and his friends asked to be spared from the rich food and be allowed to eat simple, yet nutritious meals of fruits and vegetables. Their health proved their wisdom.

Later (Chapter 5), he is offered wealth and position for interpreting some mysterious writing on a wall. He told them to keep the rewards, but he would interpret the writing.

I do not advocate New Year’s Resolutions or goals. For several years, I’d write out a list of goals every year–I’d weigh x amount, I’d write a book (or something), etc. It never really worked.

What worked was seeing myself in the future–how I looked, what I had accomplished, what my ministry would be, and so on. Then, I planned my days to build habits to work toward those visions.

One habit is to look around your life and your surroundings at least once per year and see what you’ve accumulated that you don’t need. If, unlike Daniel’s example, we didn’t turn down things before we got them, then it is timely to get rid of things in order to simplify our life.

I’ve done this for years. Get rid of “stuff” laying around that has no use. Get rid of toxic relationships. Get rid of things that grab my time so that I can focus on doing the things I want.

Too much “stuff” is a burden; it is an obstacle to living a life focused on God.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Disciplines | 1 Comment »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »