Archive for the ‘Living’ Category

Follow Jesus Then What Comes Next

June 20, 2011

Our pastor delivered a passionate and well-structured message Sunday designed to tweak your conscience and motivate you to change a behavior. His message since he started at our church was to encourage an “intimate, passionate, life-changing experience” with Jesus.

I married a Baptist and for several years attended Baptist churches. I was even chairman of the Deacons in one church for several years. Weren’t they all supposed to be old, slightly annoying people? I was young and more-than-slightly annoying, I suppose.

It was the Baptist experience that started a line of thought that has bothered me kind of like an itch in the nose ever since. Every Baptist message is designed to “convert” people. To make them come to a decision. I watched the first people in my life make that dramatic decision. But then I noticed that the church had no means of guiding them into what’s next.

The Bible also bugs me. It says “Jesus went away to pray.” It doesn’t say what he did when he prayed (except for a few public prayers–but those are different from your personal private prayers). Paul talks of converting people, and he talks of staying to teach them. But he never says what he taught them to do. He says to exercise your spirit just as an athlete exercises his body (the terminology is that of athletic training). He never really says how.

I once tried to correct this problem I thought I saw. I taught a class on prayer. My intention was to teach people how to pray. My class’s intention was for me to teach them a bunch of passages in the Bible about prayer.

I stumbled upon the Spiritual Disciplines one at a time. First was meditation. And meditation really does change your life. But you have to practice it. Daily.

Then I found Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline and Dallas Willard’s The Spirit of the Disciplines. These are the guidebooks for which I was searching. (OK, if I was any good, I’d have written them. Thankfully smarter guys than I did.)

It’s really very simple–and very hard. Prayer, meditation, study, celebration, service, fasting (and many more). We should have been guiding all these converts to practice these. Daily. Athletes (to return to Paul) do not just exercise on game day. They live a life designed to make them succeed on game day. Working out, lifting weights, running, diet, mental preparation. We need to do the same.

It’s not theology. It’s work.

For Whom Are You Working

June 14, 2011

John, the evangelist, quoted Jesus, “Those who speak on their own, seek their own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and there is nothing false in him.”

I read this over the weekend and asked myself how that applies to me. In my professional life, I am pretty well-known in my industry. Whenever I write something or whenever I’m thinking about our magazine or company, I often stop to ponder if I’m just reporting and analyzing fairly, or if I’m doing something to seek more reputation.

While I was pondering this thought from Jesus and before I had time to write, a cool thing happened. The Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat for the championship of the National Basketball Association.

I don’t follow the NBA anymore. Too many selfish prima donnas there. And the top self-promoter as the world’s greatest basketball player is LeBron James. To orchestrate an hour-long TV special about his decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers (where he failed to bring a championship, often faltering in the fourth quarter in clutch situations), he proclaimed he would bring a championship to Miami. Well he faltered again in the clutch.

Someday Miami may win a championship. Maybe not. I don’t care. But to see the triumph of a team that plays like a team over a self-proclaimed great player was rewarding.

Jesus said that if you seek glory for the one who sent you, there is nothing false in you.

No matter what you are doing, stop occasionally and ask, “For whom do I work?” Certainly in America we’ve generated a mindset of getting ahead on our own merits. “What’s in it for me” is the mantra. Jesus implies that there is something false there. But if your mantra is “What’s in it for God and others” then you are approaching truth.

Discipline and Going With the Flow

June 8, 2011

I just noticed that I had posts that are almost juxtaposed thoughts. How do you embody “going with the flow” and “discipline.” It’s kind of like–I’m traveling again, this time to Budapest, Hungary. I have full days with little time to think and to exercise.

So, Monday and today I took the time to run around St. Magrit’s Island (located in the middle of the Danube). But that takes away from writing time and thinking time.

One key is balance. You can’t fit everything into one day. But exercise is a must for me. I have a desire to be as fit as possible. Meditation and study are also musts. But I hate to be obsessive about everything and get myself all worked up trying to fit everything into the hours I’m awake.

What is important is to review and notice when you have neglected one thing for another. Then you need to bring back the balance. I need to do both of those practices, but they need to be balanced without making me frustrated.

I live in the USA, and sometimes I know that we take things for granted. Yesterday I had the honor and pleasure of meeting with Janos Horvath at the Hungarian Parliament. He is an MP–the oldest MP ever in Hungary. In 1944 he was the youngest person ever elected to the Hungarian Parliament.

He was in the anti-Hitler youth, captured, tortured and scheduled for execution in the war. Just the day before his scheduled trial and execution, the Soviets began shelling Budapest. Eventually he was able to escape. When the Nazis were driven out and the Hungarian people were able to establish a democracy, he was elected to Parliament.

Then the Soviets came in and established a Communist government. Once more he escaped. This time to the US where he earned a Ph.D. in economics at Columbia, met Ronald Reagan, ran for US Congress in Indiana. After the demise of the communist regime in Hungary, he returned in 1998 and once more was elected to Parliament.

This is quite a story. He is now 90 years old and sharper than most of my contemporaries. Think of the changes that happened during his life. Think of your blessings. If you think you have had a tough time, think of this man who faced terror and death, yet is a kind and gentle soul still working for the good of his people.

Are You In Control Or Is God

June 6, 2011

There is an old saying:

“The Master allows things to happen. He shapes events as they come. He steps out of the way and lets the Way speak for itself.”

Do you think you are in control of life’s situations? Do you try to control your subordinates? Spouse? Kids? Organization? Do you set goals and knock yourself out trying to achieve them even though events have changed the environment?

You may think you are in control…but you aren’t. You couldn’t control 9/11. But the event changed the way you live. You can’t control gasoline prices. But you can choose how to live with them. You can’t control your kids, but you can influence them and make proper values part of their lives. You can’t control others in your organization by “micro-managing.” But you can unleash the creativity and passions of them and see how far they (and the organization) can go.

Control is an illusion. But if you follow your values, you will know how to make the best of the flow and become the person and witness that God intended.

By the way, I said “values” because I worry that the phrase “putting God in control” has become so trite that it is almost meaningless in the way we actually live. I’m thinking, what does God want me to be and to do? What sort of person should I be. If I am in touch with God daily and if I am living the with-God life, then I will know how to live through the inevitable changes life throws at me and be the appropriate witness of God.

Is Ignorance an Excuse

June 2, 2011

I guess I’ll stay on the hot news topic for another analysis. I’m still reading a little about Jim Tressel, the recently ousted football coach at The Ohio State University. Seems according to Sports Illustrated magazine that Tressel has a history of problems with players breaking the rules but has always pleaded ignorance. But things usually come out and it seems that Tressel did know about the latest transgressions and chose to not tell anyone.

This isn’t about football, OSU, the NCAA (the governing body of college athletics–for whom I have little respect), or even Tressel himself. The issue is something we all face–do we acknowledge when we have done wrong and take the consequences or do we plead ignorance and try to avoid blame?

“I didn’t know that was  wrong.” “What? You mean I shouldn’t have done that?” “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

Ever try one of those? The story of Ananias and Sapphira in The Acts comes to mind. They thought they could feign ignorance and hide facts from their community and from God. They were found out.

In the end, we’re all found out. Ethics is hard. We make decisions many times a day that determine how our life will play out. Sometimes it’s easy to pretend we don’t know. But it all catches up to us.

I guess we can look at the travails of the guy who was the highest-paid state employee and take delight in his discomfort–or rush to defend.

The issue isn’t Tressel. It’s us. You and me. Will our next decision be one that we’d be proud for our grandmothers to know about? Can we face God and say we honestly tried to do right?

Lack of Ethics Always Catches Up

May 31, 2011

I spent my 24th straight Memorial Day weekend in Dayton, Ohio at a huge youth soccer tournament. This year for the most part I was mentoring and assessing the performance of many younger referees. There are so many people stories when you gather thousands together in a competitive atmosphere.

But, I live in Ohio. In the middle of Ohio State University Buckeye fanatic territory. I’m not a fan–of OSU or college football in general–but you can’t escape it. And you can’t escape the big news of the weekend. Ultra successful football coach Jim Tressell has resigned in the face of potential harsh sanctions from the athletic “governing body” the NCAA. Why? What we know right now (more probably coming) is that he knew that his star quarterback and several other stars were violating NCAA rules. He knew and he kept quiet. With them, he had almost a national championship year, a Big Ten conference championship, and the potential for further fame, glory and money.

It’s tough being a person. It’s tough being ethical. All of us face issues every day. It’s often around sex, money or power. I appreciate the irony of the politician or religious leader who has been preaching “values” only to be undone by personal weakness. No one is immune.

We’ve lived through many years of blaming it on the environment. That’s when I parted ways with “liberals”–when they embraced the idea of blaming things on something or someone else. Yes, parents can screw up a kid. But many people grow up to be productive, ethical people despite a rough childhood.

Seth Godin is a marketing guru. But he hits on some pithy observations. Here’s a quote from a recent blog post:

A door is not responsible if it swings and hits you in the nose. Neither is the hand of the guy who punched you.
Philosphers and lawyers talk about agency. Responsibility comes with the capacity to act in the world. If you can decide, if you can act, you have agency.Life without agency would be a nightmare. Trapped in a box, unable to do anything by choice, nothing but a puppet…
Why then, do organizations and individuals struggle so intently to avoid the responsibility that comes with agency? “It’s not my job, my boss won’t let me, there’s a federal regulation, we’re prohibited, it’s our supplier, that’s our policy…”
It’s not something you can turn on or off. Either you have the capacity to act in the world. Or you don’t.
You are an agent. Responsible for your decisions and actions. Take that responsibility and behave according to your faith. I think every one of Jesus’ encounters with people dealt with some measure of taking responsibility and behaving ethically. Do likewise–even if it is darn hard.

Focus, Attention Aid Listening

May 20, 2011

To be able to balance on one foot as we teach in Yoga, the key isn’t balance itself. Or even thinking about balance. The key is to empty your mind, focus on a stationary point and place all your attention on that point. As in all Yoga poses, you also must attend to your breath. You must train yourself to breathe in a slow, rhythmic pace.

It occurred to me recently while teaching a new student how to balance, that listening requires many of the same attributes. Emptying your mind, for example. If your mind is full of thoughts there is no room for a new thought that might come from the person, reading or God to whom you should be listening.

Do you know the phenomenon called reflecting? I know someone who does this–a lot. He says something to you and then “hears” you say it. Then he tells others you said something, when in fact, he said it. That is disconcerting to the other person. Why does that happen? The “hearer” is actually so wrapped up in him/her self that listening never occurs.

Try this the next time you are in conversation with a person–or with God. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Clear your mind of thoughts. Focus on the person or on God. Place all your attention there. You’ll be amazed at the results. You may learn something new. You may change your life.

What Does Your Life Say About You

May 19, 2011

Dallas Willard was the first to plainly state what I suspected about the first Christians–that they actually did live differently from their neighbors. The power of the Spirit so infused and ordered their lives that other people noticed and many were attracted to this new religious movement.

In America, we too often live our lives with bumper-sticker phrases when we should be actually living in the Spirit minute-by-minute. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s 25 years of refereeing soccer at some pretty high levels, but I’ve become quite observant of people. And I puzzle out motivations and actions.

So when recently stuck in a long line of traffic headed for an event at a venue where access is congested by design (or lack thereof) I notice an expensive, white Mercedes with the license plate “BORN 2X” I presume the driver/owner is a self-proclaimed Christian. After all, I had just read the story in John about Jesus’ encounter with Nicodemus and the born of water and born of Spirit discussion.

So I watch to see if the driver exhibits Christian tendencies. You decide (if you know how to drive in traffic, it will help you understand).

Traffic is backed up for two miles on the freeway because of congestion at the intersection at the end of the exit ramp. One reason for the congestion is that people are in a hurry to get through, so they block the intersection by going through a yellow-changing-to-red traffic light but can’t make it and so block traffic.

This white Mercedes driver decides that waiting in the line is too long and switches to the left lane. That’s OK. Except when we reach the intersection, he makes an illegal right turn on red. But traffic is backed up, so he now block four lanes of traffic.

Ten minutes and 400 meters later, I notice that car on my left as I pass it. He gained nothing trying to press an advantage. And that advantage pushed other people back.

So, I ask myself, what life is he proclaiming? What life do you proclaim? Do you so order your life that it is attractive to others who would like what you have?

Beware the self-righteous personality

May 17, 2011

I’ve been thinking about Jesus and the various personalities of people he dealt with. There were people who were probably “pagan” with strong personalities but who had strong belief that Jesus could heal. There were seekers from the woman with abnormal menstruation (so she was unclean) to the “rich, young ruler”.

Look at his closest followers. There was the strong but impetuous Simon. The wealthy and spiritual John and his brother James. “Doubting” Thomas. Mixed up Judas. Yes, he even seemed to deal sympathetically with Judas as he betrayed him.

There was one personality type that Jesus pointedly, and repeatedly, argued against. And we still see way too much of that personality type today. Even as today’s iteration of the type espouses Jesus as their leader (I think that’s called irony). It’s the type that I have the most difficulty with in my personal interactions.

That type is those who are self-righteous. “We know the truth and the way to live. We’ll tell you how. We’ll tell you all the stuff you do wrong. We’ll tell you how to avoid condemnation.” It’s an “us against them” attitude toward others. Willow Creek Community Church Teaching Pastor Darrin Whitehead calls them obstacles to leading people to Jesus. That is, people who need Jesus are so put off by the Pharisees among us that they stay away from help.

I actually was so amazed at this personality type and how these people could hold opinions in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary that I devoted several years to studying personality, brain physiology and mind/body interaction. The result was that I learned what every good salesperson intuitively knows–you can’t change the minds of this type of person through ordinary means. Look at Jesus. He probably only converted a few Pharisees. They can only be taught love and Jesus when they have a life-changing event of meeting the living Jesus.

But, that may be all of us. What are you doing to build a relationship with Jesus rather than a body of opinions about him?

Do You Have a Christian Personality

May 12, 2011

Can you get along with people who have a different personality from you?

I used to think in terms of theology to define different types of Christians. Then I began to study personality seriously. Over the years, I’ve come to believe that the differences are more personality than theology.

On the Myers-Briggs Types Indicator I am an ENTP (extroverted, intuitive, thinking, perceptive). Once I was talking to a pastor who was on an Emmaus Walk team. The entire team took the types indicator test to see how they could work together. All members of the team were FJ (feeling, judgmental) rather than TP. When I told him I was TP, he said, “How can you call yourself a Christian?”

Well, the answer to that question is easy. I am a “Christ follower.” But that led me to study personality even deeper.

Less theology, I think some people’s personality characteristics guide them into needing feelings of security, certainty. These are probably more likely to be theologically conservative. Tell me what to believe, I’ll believe it, I now feel the certainty of salvation.

Other people are open to new people, new experiences, new ideas. Life is a learning experience and sort of an experiment. They like different forms of worship. They are open to embracing a wider variety of people.

If you are very far along the intuitive scale, you may prefer quiet, meditative worship. Another personality type likes loud music and boisterous celebration. Another prefers the structure of a traditional worship experience.

Are any of these right? Yes. They are all right. I think the key is understanding that different people are different. The important thing is are they following Jesus, not how are they following Jesus.

I got into the Myers-Briggs early. But later I studied the Enneagram. I just read an essay from Donald Miller where he discusses using the Enneagram to understand his liberal and his conservative Christian friends.

I think understanding is key. But, then, I’m the second type I described earlier 😉