Archive for the ‘Disciplines’ Category

Act Without Murmuring or Arguing

January 25, 2016

Watch out for small groups of people in the organization who gather to criticize, back bite, and argue. Have you noticed this phenomenon? Worse, have you ever been in one of those groups? Or been a leader in gathering them?

I am by nature an analyzer (ENTP). I have to be very careful and aware of whom I talking with as to whether I’m merely analyzing or “murmuring” or arguing. Occasionally someone has accused me of cynicism. But that stance ascribes motivations to others. I try to just describe actions and probe reasons. I don’t automatically think people are duplicitous.

Paul offers an antidote to this attitude that can be so hurtful to people and organizations. Writing to the Philippians (2:14), he says, “Do all things without murmuring and arguing, so that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the world.”

Nothing beats negativity or (non-clinical) depression like action. One of the key Spiritual Disciplines is service. When you’re out serving others, doing for Jesus, you don’t have time for complaining and murmuring.

A good leader will organize such that there is a bias toward action. Don’t give people time to gather and complain. Get the teams moving in a positive direction.

Several years ago, there was a company I knew that had pathetic leadership. I’m being kind. Employees had all kinds of time to go online and comment on Websites. The negativity, hate, complaining, finger-pointing was terrible. People in other companies wondered how they had all that time. Part of the problem of the leadership was that they weren’t focused on pushing ahead and getting commitment of people.

It is often our fault, though. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves. We need to have some self-awareness of when we are slipping. When we sense this negativity happening, it’s time to look for a service project. Get busy. Get focused. Get positive.

Leadership Through Mentoring

January 22, 2016

We think of a leader as someone who has many people reporting to them. Maybe 10 or maybe hundreds. We picture them out front of the infantry leading the charge.

Surprisingly, often a leader is someone without an official position, yet they exert influence and direction through their ideas, conversations, persistence, relationships, and character.

But we are still thinking about influencing many.

Great leaders often are also great mentors. They find someone coming along with potential and begin to nurture them. Think perhaps of Mr. Miyagi in the “Karate Kid.”

Think back in your life. People came into my life, often briefly, who guided me often without my even knowing it at the time. There was my first supervisor at Airstream, John, who put me in positions to learn. Then Jack came along. He did things for me to get me promoted into increasingly important roles, but I never realized it at the time. Awakening came later, but not too late.

Lately there has been someone where we share from our varied experiences.

When you mentor someone, it should be intentional on your part. But with full knowledge that you are not a teacher just taking knowledge from your brain and trying to enlighten the mentee. Rather, mentorship grows with a relationship. As you work together or have conversations, often it’s just a question you ask or a point you think that they should think about that works. You have to let them grow at their pace. Force does not work.

The quality of character counts for much. Paul, the apostle, described both in 1 Timothy and in Titus a good leader.

  • Not violent
  • Blameless
  • Not accused of debauchery
  • Not rebellious
  • Not arrogant
  • Not quick-tempered
  • Not greedy for gain
  • A firm grasp on the Word
  • Trustworthy

I get a picture of a strong, yet gentle, person. Quiet in demeanor. Observant of others. Passionate with being overly emotional. Intelligent and wise. Concerned for the welfare of the other before even his own.

Gosh, I’m describing myself—-I wish. Perhaps I’m describing you. If so and you do not have a younger person you’re mentoring, find one. Pray intentionally. God will provide someone.

 

Fear, Anger, Lives Matter

January 21, 2016

My friend called this evening. He has Asperger’s Syndrome. He’s not very social, but deep down he really wants to connect. On the other hand, connections with people are stressful. 

He asked what I was doing. Reading the news, I replied. He said, “I never read the news. Too depressing.” 

I agreed. Said I mostly read tech news.

He’s right about the news. We learn about almost every murder in the world. In fact, it’s always about murder, shootings, rapes, confrontations, hostility, war. “If it bleeds, it leads” was the old newspaper mantra. That’s even more important in this 24-hour constant news cycle where eyeballs on the screen are crucial to financial success. (I was in the business.)

Inundation of stories of killing raises fear in the hearts of many. Fear often plays out in anger. We have lots of anger in the world. Even in America where things are really pretty good (don’t tell my Facebook “friends” that, they glory in bad news).

It seems everything gets politicized. Every life matters to God. But some people think that Black lives don’t matter to the white majority in this country. So, we get another bumper sticker slogan. Which leads good Christian conservative people to counter with “Blue Lives Matter” (policemen).

I’m not following all the election stuff very closely, but I will admit to having occasional nightmares about a Trump/Sanders election. Where would the other 75% of the voters go?

None of this helps the discussion. Where is the peacemaker when we need her? 

John Fischer wrote on The Catch “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” He pondered the thought about what would have happened in the 60s with the pent up anger and frustration of black people without the non-violent leadership of Martin Luther King, Jr. Think of the riots after he was killed.

I read my Facebook news feed (more infrequently now) and see anger, fear, racism. I know most of these people. If asked, most would deny being angry, fearful, cynical, racist. But their words belie them.

Bill Hybels expressed his wish of the same thing last Sunday following a talk on race relations at Willow Creek. Our church stands firmly for good relations among those of various races, he said. “If you don’t agree, don’t let the door hit you in the back on your way out.” He’s just that strong–and concerned.

It’s not one of Richard J. Foster’s 12 Spiritual Disciplines, but I view peacemaking as a Spiritual Discipline–or Practice, if you wish. 

I’m way too low key. Most of my “talking” is with my fingers on a keyboard. Those of us who have perspective and take Jesus seriously for what he told us, need to step up the game.

From Theology to Practice

January 19, 2016

Andy Stanley last weekend talked about putting some motion in your devotion.

He captured it well.

Every time I dig deeply into either the Gospels to see what Jesus really teaches, or into the letters which were advice to the new disciples, I come to the same conclusion–the preponderance of the teaching focuses on how we live day-by-day, minute-by-minute.

I’ve been reading, studying, and contemplating on Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.

Some scholars think Paul didn’t write it because the tone is a little different from the rest of his letters. It sure sounds like Paul to me. I go with some scholars who say it was probably more of a sermon than a letter. After all, Paul was firmly in the rabbinic tradition.

Some scholars dissed the letter because they thought it was used to justify the power of priests 1,700 years ago. Maybe so, but I don’t see that today.

Paul begins where he always begins, with the history of God’s relationship with the Jewish people, the breaking of the relationship, and then, most importantly, Jesus coming to teach, die, and be resurrected. Paul’s theology begins and ends with the resurrection. That changed everything for him.

Just as in Romans, though, Ephesians teaches that once we settle on God’s grace through the death and resurrection of Jesus and our acceptance through faith, then the most important thing is how we live. Romans ends with practical advice; Ephesians ends with practical advice.

Part of our spiritual discipline, or spiritual practices, involves how we act. By the way, James who writes from a different tradition supports this thought. Be ye doers, he said (in 16th Century English).

But I digress. Today when you get dressed and head out to work or wherever you go, how are you going to act? What will you do? Will people see what you do and say, “There goes a disciple of Jesus”? Or, will they say, “There goes another one of those Christians who can preach belief but acts as if they’re the only people on Earth.”

I wrote yesterday about how I was once (?) book smart and common sense stupid. How hard it is for us to translate what we know into what we naturally do! But that is our task as set out by God. We may know. We may believe. But could anyone tell by watching?

Shed a Little Light

January 18, 2016

I wrote today’s post over the weekend. I’m having trouble remembering what day it is anymore. Too many things on my mind, I guess.

This morning, reminded it was Martin Luther King Day, I was reminiscing about my youthful college days as a civil rights advocate in an all-white community (of 1,000 people) and the grief I took. Or driving through Mississippi on my way to LSU for grad school in 1970 with an equal rights decal on my car. Book smart, common sense stupid. That was me.

Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke at my little liberal arts university not long before he was murdered. Guys told me that the farmers from around Ada, Ohio joked about how they should have run his car off the road on the trip from Lima to Ada.

Thanks to John Fischer and his email newsletter The Catch for pointing out this great song on YouTube to remind us of having a dream. Do we still have the dream? Listen and enjoy.

How We Can Pray Without Ceasing

January 18, 2016

Our friend, the apostle Paul, gave this advice to the disciples in Thessalonica, “Pray without ceasing.”

That sounds so simple.

But wait, how can you do that?

You wake up in the morning. Think of that first cup of coffee. Grab the newspaper or check news sites on the Web. Think of the commute to work. Get the kids ready for school.

We wake up and we’re already swamped with tasks, worries, planning.

Where is prayer?

Same with the day. We have things to do, people to see, places to go. Pray? You’ve got to be kidding me. Didn’t the first Century Christians have life a lot easier? A slower pace?  More time for contemplation?

The anonymous pilgrim in one of my favorite books, The Way of a Pilgrim, pondered that question as he traveled the Russian countryside. He discovered that realistically you cannot literally pray ever second of every day. But his continual praying brought a number of important people into his life just at the right time.

Brother Lawrence, a 17th Century Carmalite brother recorded in The Practice of the Presence of God, was another man who sought to pray without ceasing. He talked of praying while cooking, baking.

Paul linked praying with other commands (tips, suggestions?). 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 records, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

These do not describe separate commands. They describe a way of life. We can call it attitude–the way we approach living. It could be habit–our response to life. It becomes imprinted on our DNA.

The most important thing is to start the day well. Rise 15 minutes earlier. Go straight to your favorite chair. Open your Bible, read for a few minutes. Pause, pray for a few minutes. Now you are ready for the day. Pray as we tend the kids. Pray as we fix breakfast. Pray as we commute.

Prayer means more than talking aloud. It can be done on knees, lying in bed, walking, driving, whatever we’re doing.

Talking is good. Listening is better. Attitude toward God–priceless.

How We See Others

January 15, 2016

As a leader, how do you see your group? Not as a group, but as individuals.

Do you see them as hard working, dedicated, intelligent people? Or as lazy, slothful, needing constant supervision people?

I had a job once where I could get more done working from home than coming to the office. My boss said, “Well, as long as you’re working.” I thought, “Sheesh, no one puts out more work than I do, and he makes that comment.”

This phrase just popped up in my reading, “Your perception of me is a reflection of you.”

If you are looking at the team you are leading as a bunch of people you can’t trust to do their work. Maybe the problem really is you. Maybe you know that you’d like to slack off and are suspicious of others who might.

There was a story about a man traveling the back roads of the Midwest in the early 20th Century. He came across a farmer. He stopped and asked, “What sort of people live around here?”

“Well, what sort of people lived where you are from?”

“They were a lying, thieving bunch of people.”

“Well, I guess you’ll find people here about the same.”

A second traveler came by later and stopped. Asked the same question. The farmer asked what sort of people there were where he was from. “Honest, hardworking, trustworthy people,” came the response.

“Well, I guess you’ll find the people around here to be about the same.”

It is a great story pointing out that our perceptions are often colored by our emotions, thoughts, and opinions. We see what we want to see.

When I’ve dealt with people as a leader, whether as a parent or manager, I always just have this expectation, usually unstated but clear by insinuation, that people will live up to being what they were meant to be. I expect the best for other people.

When you deal with others, how do you view them? If the results are not forthcoming, perhaps a good look in a mirror is in order. Change your attitude toward others and watch how their attitude changes.

Teach Us To Pray

January 14, 2016

“Lord, teach us to pray.”

Writing about prayer yesterday dredged up some memories of teaching people to pray. Paul has much to say that is practical. Jesus’ disciples asked him point blank one day. He responded with the “model” prayer that we call the Lord’s Prayer.

Once in my idealism, I offered a class on how to pray to my church. There were a few takers. My idea was to, well, er, teach them how to pray. As in, let’s see an example of a type of prayer, then spend the rest of the class practicing that prayer. You know, contemplation, intercessory, supplication–the whole thing.

The trouble was–they didn’t want to practice. They wanted what we call “book knowledge.” But they were uncomfortable actually praying.

Did the same thing with a class on spiritual formation. We gathered a dozen people into our family room and I led them through Richard Foster and Dallas Willard. What I tried to do during those 10 weeks or so was to get them to start actually practicing some of the “Spiritual Disciplines.” Did we pray daily? Study daily? Fast regularly? Worship? Serve?

They just wanted to learn the words from the book. I don’t know if any actually changed their life practices by incorporating a daily habit of spiritual practice.

Funny thing is I read constantly. But when I find something worthwhile, I try to add it into my daily or weekly (depending) habits. I’m far from perfect, but it would take a book to discuss the growth in my life due to spiritual practices. More even-tempered. Discernment. Ability to recognize the needs of others.

I think when Jesus taught his disciples to pray that he expected them to actually pray. Pray to recognize God’s holiness. Pray for our daily sustenance. Pray for God’s kingdom. Pray for others. Even pray for ourselves.

So let’s lift up our hands and actually pray–and follow Paul’s advice to do it without arguing or anger. Prayer is so powerful; it will change your life.

 

Lift Hands In Prayer Without Anger or Argument

January 13, 2016

Do you ever get tired of scanning your Facebook “news” feed? I do.

Sitting here studying in Paul’s first letter to Timothy, “I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument.”

We can’t even go to a church full of people who call themselves disciples of Jesus and pray without argument. Either we argue amongst ourselves or we argue about everyone outside the walls who doesn’t agree with everything we hold as opinion.

I just wish I could scan through my Facebook “news” feed and see more of that and no anger, hate, cynicism, misinformation bordering on lies. How about we stop trying to tear everyone down and start working for the improvement of our society, community, nation, world? That is my fervent desire.

Instead of complaining and whining about people from other ethnic origins and countries, what can we do to help people in Jordan and Iraq deal with the refugee problem there? Instead of disdain toward those in need in our community, how about we serve them?

Find someone who needs help and focus on that instead of yourself and your problems. That is what my master taught. It’s hard to follow, but it’s my job.

It’s even into sports. The Bengals/Steelers NFL game Sunday was packed with drama–not so much about the outcome of the game which was wild–but about how much illegal violence and bad sportsmanship would be exhibited.

The Steelers’ quarterback was injured and taken to the dressing room in a cart. Bengals fans cheered his injury and threw objects at him on the journey.

Days after the game, players and fans were still whining, pointing fingers, denying the obvious.

That’s just sports. Try politics. In America it sometimes appears that no one is interested in working toward the common good. It’s all about scoring points against the opponent. Attributing every evil known to man as a characteristic to the other party.

And most of these people, if you asked them, would claim Christianity.

Fortunately this is mostly just the outspoken people. But too many of those are politicians. Most of the country, indeed, most of the people in the world, just want to live in peace, help their neighbors and those in need, worship God. But we don’t hear from them.

Let us all try to pray diligently with our hands raised to God not in anger and argument.

Is It All About Me

January 12, 2016

You deserve everything. Go for everything you want. You deserve it. — Horoscope

Horoscopes these days seem a little like “Dear Abby” advice. Some days when I’m a little bored, I scan the horoscopes for a chuckle. The other day, the one above was mine.

Many books have been written analyzing the mental health disease of our age, the conclusion–narcissism. Narcissists view others from the point of view of how others impact them. “Did you see what she did to me?” Not just “did you see what she did?”

There’s a lot of “I deserve it” attitude. “I’m entitled.”

Jesus said (Luke 14), “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

What he’s asking us is who’s in charge. Am I all in for myself? Or, am I all  in for Jesus? Who is first?

Someone who truly has narcissism personality disorder won’t be changed by a blog post or by reading some words of Jesus.

The rest of us can read and learn. Jesus did change some people’s focus. They learned to start considering others first. They learned that it is not all about themselves.

Sometimes we need a reminder. Our first response might be for our own comfort or desires. Then we remember.

As we serve others once, then twice, then eventually it becomes habit. Habits build character. It becomes our nature–who we are. We are people who consider others first.