Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Positive Response In The Face of Negativity

October 6, 2023

Peter Diamandis writes a newsletter emphasizing developing an abundance mindset rather than a scarcity mindset. Sometimes he’s a little over the top for me, but he publishes much science-based information on health, longevity, and abundant living.

Recently he reviewed The Rational Optimist, by Matt Ridley. I have not read it, yet (too many books stacked up right now). But it sounds intriguing.

Diamandis says, “And lately, the behavior that has most caught his attention is humanity’s predilection for bad news. As Ridley puts it:

“It’s incredible, this moaning pessimism, this knee-jerk, things-are-going-downhill reaction from people living amid luxury and security that their ancestors would have died for. The tendency to see the emptiness of every glass is pervasive. It’s almost as if people cling to bad news like a comfort blanket.”

Diamandis continues, “In trying to make sense of this pessimism, Ridley, like the psychologist Daniel Kahneman, sees a combination of cognitive biases and evolutionary psychology as the core of the problem. He identifies the cognitive bias ‘loss aversion’—a tendency for people to regret a loss more than a similar gain—as the bias with the most impact on abundance. Loss aversion is often what keeps people stuck in ruts. It’s an unwillingness to change bad habits for fear that the change will leave them in a worse place than before.”

Ridley cites a number of cases where pessimists who were widely publicized were completely wrong. Sometimes, the alarm actually drove humans to change behavior in order to avert disaster. (Maybe the same may one day be said about climate change.)

I think we can learn something from this. Check out how often God (or Jesus) performed some sort of miracle, but almost always it entailed the human in the story to do something. God alerted them or helped a bit. The human was expected to step up and respond with action. Here’s a quick list just off the top of my mind as I write this:

  • Moses
  • Gideon
  • David
  • Nehemiah
  • Jeremiah
  • The rich young man
  • The lepers
  • The disciples

Where do we put ourselves? How should we be responding right now?

Build the Life You Want

September 29, 2023

Arthur C. Brooks teaches a happiness class at Harvard Business School. Students line up to take the class. Probably because the place is filled with people looking for happiness in all the wrong places (to paraphrase a song).

Oprah Winfrey read his bestseller, From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, contacted him and invited to her home in California. They hit it off and agreed to collaborate on this book just out this month, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier.

This book is readable and practical. Much of this I know and practice. Many will not have heard of this research and story. This will help you and/or someone you love.

Let’s begin with “Happiness is not the goal, and unhappiness is not the enemy.”

Philosophers from ancient times have known that happiness is a byproduct of living, not the goal of living. Yet, each generation must learn the lesson anew.

The first chapters discuss managing our emotions.

The four pillars are discussed in detail in the remainder of the book:

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Work
  • Faith (Find Your Amazing Grace)

I leave you with two takeaways.

Augustine of Hippo (St. Augustine) gave a student three pieces of advice.

The first part is humility; the second, humility; the third, humility; and this I would continue to repeat as often as you might ask direction.

Another takeaway.

We need to detach ourselves and become free of sticky cravings. We honestly examine our attachments. What are yours? Money, power, pleasure, prestige—the distractions we sought to be free of with greater emotional self-management? Dig deeper. Just maybe they are your opinions. The Buddha himself named this attachment and its terrible effects more than twenty-four hundred years ago when he is believed to have said, “This who grasp at perceptions and views go about butting their heads in the world.” More recently the Vietnamese Buddhist sage Thich Naht Hanh wrote in his book Being Peace, “Humankind suffers very much from attachment to views.”

Remaining Calm When Forces Conspire

September 27, 2023

I don’t often write about personal experience. Sometimes it gets me into trouble. Mostly, I’m just pretty boring.

I had a flight to Sacramento yesterday morning in order to attend a business technology conference. I use a driver service. This service has been superb for the two plus years I’ve used it since we moved to the outskirts of the Chicago metropolitan area.

The car was due at 7:15 am. They are always a little early. No car. By 7:30 I was concerned and called. You cancelled the trip the owner said. I said, no I didn’t. Miscommunication. They texted a confirmation which returned a “don’t need a car” message.

I use my same mobile number that I’ve had for years. It is a Sidney, Ohio number. They typed a 6 instead of an 8. So, if someone from Sidney is reading this and declined a ride from Huntley Hills, thank you 😉  Huntley is the village just north of where I currently live.

But the owner gave me a shot. He picked me up 40 minutes late. I allow for time, but I don’t anticipate 40 minutes. Oh, well. Then there was unusual congestion on Interstate 90 around Schaumburg. The GPS said arriving at O’Hare at 8:55. My flight was 9:15.

The driver asked, how can you remain so calm. You haven’t even been checking your phone constantly for flight updates. I told him I know my way through the airport, have the CLEAR system that speeds me through plus TSA Pre-check. I also had my running shoes on.

He dropped me off. I got to CLEAR. Great. Then they said you’ve been “randomly” selected for additional screening. They had to check my ID. But that went quickly. On to the security line. It was short. I walked through the metal detector like I have a thousand times. It beeped. I had been “randomly” selected to go through the other x-ray detector. Oh, joy. One thing after another.

No problem. I got through. Security is close to the tunnel connecting B and C terminals. My gate was the one directly across from exiting the tunnel. I ran all the way through that way. Got to the gate area. The door was still open. Two gate agents were chatting. I made it.

Remain calm? 

You have to recognize when worry just gives no benefit. You work out the problems one thing at a time. One obstacle at a time.

And if I hadn’t made it? Well, there are alternatives, I’m sure. But I’m typing this from my hotel in Folsom, California. Had a good day yesterday at the conference. Looking forward to meeting even more geeks today. And, just chillin’.

It Rains On Everyone

September 22, 2023

We had six weeks of drought. Now it seems the rain will not stop (since we  are waiting for dry weather in order to complete the sealing of our patio pavers).

So, I thought of the Peanuts cartoon where Linus tells Charlie Brown who is once again in the depths of despair, “It rains on the just and the unjust alike.”

Turns out that is an actual quote from Jesus unlike so many sayings we toss around.

This one took me to the Gospel of Matthew chapter 5, the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount. 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

What’s the point of this teaching? So that you may be children of your Father in heaven. And again, Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

It pays dividends to look beyond the aphorism. To look at what Jesus is trying to tell us. Beyond a simple “it rains on everyone” is that we are to treat people the same regardless of anything. That does not mean treat everyone equally poorly. It means treat everyone as a perfect person just as God is perfect.

That, friends, is a high bar.

The Path of Least Resistance

September 20, 2023

The window of my study faces west. This morning in contemplation I watched a thunderstorm move across the prairie over me and on toward Lake Michigan.

We try to outwit lightning sometimes. Coaches of teams in outdoor sports downplay the perils of lightning at great risk. We don’t know whether the lightning will stay in the clouds or whether it will strike somewhere. And that somewhere we are powerless to predict.

For lightning is electricity in its pure form. It will flow where it meets the least resistance.

I have read a philosophy of seeking the path of least resistance as we live out our lives. While I do not advocate our looking for resistance to overcome, it is true that electricity channeled through capacitors and transistors power our computers to do useful work.

As Jesus said in an age before we channeled electricity about paths of least resistance, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

Beware walking through a thunderstorm. You may be on the path of least resistance.

Beware also of walking through life always seeking the easy way. The easy path is wide and smooth. Channel rather your energy through the way Jesus mapped out for us.

Fail Well

September 18, 2023

Seth Godin, entrepreneur and acute observer of life, wrote, “I’ve been doing it wrong all along This is one of the great benefits of learning. It’s also a common challenge. When we get better at something, it is preceded by a moment of incompetence. In that moment, we’re not exactly sure how to do it better, but we realize that the way we’d been doing it wasn’t nearly as useful.”

Often we humans are resistant to acknowledging we have been wrong and that change would be a good thing. Reading Thomas Merton this weekend, I saw, “A humble man is not afraid of failure.”

Godin proceeds with an example: It can be something prosaic–I learned last week that I’d been preheating my dosa pan for too long, and that’s why (paradoxically) they weren’t becoming crispy. Years of consistent behavior overturned in one moment. Or it can be something more profound, changing our perceptions of others and ourselves. If you need to be proven right, learning is a challenge. If you’re eager to be proven wrong, learning is delightful.

This fits with a podcast I heard last week from Guy Kawasaki’s “Remarkable People.” He talked with Harvard Business School Professor Amy Edmondson. Her latest book ‘Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well,’ describes three kinds of failure. 

  • The good kind of failure, which I call intelligent failure. We can call a failure intelligent when it is genuinely novel territory. We are in pursuit of an opportunity. We’ve done our homework, we’ve thought about what might happen, and we’ve designed a test of that hypothesis and finally, the failure is as small as possible to still be able to learn from it. You don’t want to make bigger bets than you have to in uncertain territory.
  • The other two kinds of failures we do want to prevent. The simplest kind of failure I call a basic failure, and it’s basic because it has a single cause. That single cause is usually human error. I put the milk in the cabinet instead of in the refrigerator and the milk spoils, so that’s a basic failure. That’s one that’s pretty trivial, but it’s one that happens because we’re not paying attention or we’re not maybe trained in an activity that we’re trying to do, we haven’t had enough training, we haven’t done our homework, what have you. Those are obviously not worth celebrating.
  • The third kind is what I call complex failures and they are, as the title suggests, multi causal. They generally happen because of a complex mix of factors. Some of them external, some of them internal. They come together in just the wrong way to produce a bad outcome. A supply chain breakdown during a global pandemic is a complex failure. The supply chain has struggled to deliver the goods and services that needed to because of a combination of things, people sick and not able to come to work, a shipping route’s being disrupted, storms that might happen and exacerbate the whole thing.

Are you leading an organization or only your life. You try something, it fails, you learn and move on. Some you are just not paying attention. Maybe more training would help. Some are from a system. You must periodically review your systems and see if they are still your servants—or are you their servant.

Multiple Points of View

September 15, 2023

The thoughts began with a discussion about Affirmative Action and the US Supreme Court’s decision effectively eliminating it because it discriminates against white men. 

So, I suggested that we just step back and look at the issue from various points of view. Not every white male is rich and powerful. Not every female person is the same as others. Not every black person is the same. Just try sometime to list a number of different people. Then say, what if I were that person. How would I feel? What would I want? Then go to the next person on the list.

This is also a great study technique. Maybe to study the stories Jesus told. Or study other stories in the Bible. Perhaps a good way to study history.

Works for relationships. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What would they need or want? How would they feel if I …?

I hate to be the one to tell you [no, wait, I don’t hate that] that the world and all its people do not exist to serve you. You’re worried about what other people think about you? Don’t! They aren’t.

Two Important Characteristics

September 14, 2023

Many times I see the same teaching and wisdom passed on. Two important characteristics of successful (not necessarily rich, that’s another thing) people are curiosity and imagination.

And I wonder…

What does it mean when it says in the Bible he worshipped…?

What does it mean when God says I will be with you?

Why does the Apostle Paul throw in so many weird, seemingly out of context, sentences?

Why did Jesus say so many things to his followers assuming they knew what he was saying when they hadn’t a clue?

Or, why did those followers write all that down making themselves look foolish?

How is it that these disparate and scattered Christian fellowships survived without a single written comprehensive document (Bible) and creed for 300 years? Why do we fight over that now?

What did it feel like to be part of the crowd on that hillside sloping down to the Lake when Jesus preached his Sermon?

What was it like walking with Jesus and his many companions as we journeyed through Galilee and into Judah? Did we sing songs? Did people jostle for position close enough to Jesus to hear him?  How many conversations happened along the way? Relationships formed?

Some people live within the belief passed on to them when they were eight years old? Some of us wonder—what if? What happened? What was it like?

Gentle on my Mind

August 25, 2023

Glen Campbell was a popular singer/songwriter in the 1960s and 1970s. He recorded a John Hartford song in the 60s about memories of a former love who was “gentle on my mind.”

We don’t often hear about being gentle. Maybe in our macho cultures we worry about being gentle as a form of weakness. Just as it takes inner strength to be humble, gentle is also a sign of strength.

We are strong enough to lift an infant or small child. Yet, we are gentle with them. Even when they frustrate us to no end. That is strength.

We are strong enough to dig in the soil to make a flower bed, yet we are gentle in picking a flower to present to a friend or lover.

We can be gentle when dealing with others, yet we have the strength to be helpful.

Today would be a great time to practice being gentle. Toward the things around you. Toward the people you meet. Toward even to yourself.

Childlike or Childish?

August 24, 2023

I may have written before about how I loved to take woks with my grandson when he was a toddler. We weren’t trying for distance. He would stop and explore leaves and bugs and worms and little lizards. Everything was fresh and new. He was filled with child-like wonder of things.

Perhaps that was the picture Jesus had in mind when he suggested that we should become like little children. Take in new experiences with eyes open with wonder. Accept whatever people came our way with the same anticipation and joy.

The rare times I turn on TV news or scan news on the internet, I’m shocked by the realization of how adolescent and childish so many of these people are.

We need to look at ourselves. The daily Examen. Morning and evening reflect on the day. Where did we delight in someone or something with childlike wonder? Where and when were we acting childish like a 2-year-old?