Archive for the ‘Attention’ Category

Pause to Find Self-Awareness

December 19, 2014

Everywhere are conversations among people this week, “Are you ready for Christmas? I have so much to do. Not enough time to do it.”

We hurry from work to shopping to wrapping to parties to work. It’s all a big blur.

We don’t have time to “feel the Christmas spirit” because we don’t have time to notice.

Gene Appel, senior pastor of the Eastside Christian Church in Orange County, California, drew a lesson from one of Jesus’ stories to (and about) his local Pharisees in a message a few weeks ago.

It seems that a man had two sons. One tapped into the old man for a chunk of money and took off for the good life. One day after the money was gone, the friends were gone, the women were gone and he woke up in a pigpen, he “came to his senses.” He became what is one of the hardest things for us to do—to become self-aware.

When did he become self-aware? When he stopped. There was no more hurry. No more drinking, no more women, no more friends, no more hurrying from one party to the next. He stopped. And then he came to his senses.

Perhaps it is time we stop. Just pause and take a deep breath. Inhale until the lungs fill; then keep going until the stomach is “filled”; then keep going until the abdomen grows. Then slowly release the breath. Two or three of those should slow us down until we can become aware of our circumstances, our emotions, our environment.

Stop. Look around. Place your thoughts on Jesus. Rejoice in the celebration.

How Much Are You Paid To Watch TV?

December 9, 2014

How much are you paid to watch TV?

How much TV do you watch? Do you watch to learn anything? Or do you watch to pass the time and deaden the mind?

I just read that quote in a book yesterday afternoon. Then I came home and settled in to turn on the NFL football game and do some proofreading. Next thing I knew, it was time to go to bed. TV does that to me.

If I am supposed to be waiting in anticipation during advent, then watching TV is a lot like the five foolish maids at the wedding who went to sleep and let their lamps burn out before the wedding party arrived. They were not prepared.

My wife has her morning ritual of eating breakfast while watching a recorded episode of The Chew. I guess that there is TV watching that is OK.

I’d watch why I turn on the TV, though. Am I diverting my attention just to escape what I should be doing?

I used to go down to the family room to watch one episode of a comedy then return to my chair to read. I discovered that my mind was dead. It took quite some time to get my mind back in focus.

My advent wish for you is that you can be intentional about TV watching and other habits that distract us from our preparation and waiting mindfully.

Take Time To Be Grateful

November 21, 2014

This week I had a birthday while I was away at a conference. Some people knew and said something. I just said, well it’s just another day where I am thankful to be up and breathing.

Then I thought, well that is something to be grateful for. Maybe I should just pause right there and say a little prayer of gratitude for being alive, mobile, and alert.

Being grateful begins with that attention and reflection. Something good happened. I paused to recognize it and place my attention there–even if only for a few minutes. Then I reflect upon the thing for which I’m grateful.

I have a “to-do list” manager. Permanently on the task list is the note–practice being grateful. Every day when I scan my list of things to do, there it is. It forces me to stop in the midst of my hurry and think of something for which I’m grateful.

Sometimes it’s just for social interaction. Sometimes I wonder if I was born with some level of autism or Aspergers or something. I was pretty socially isolated as a youth and young adult. Studies show that being socially isolated is not good for your health.

Through business I know literally thousands of people (there are more than 6,000 people in my contact database, more than 1,000–I think–on LinkedIn. We’re not “friends” in a close way, but when I see them at conferences, it’s a good interaction. This week I saw more than 100 people I knew and could talk with for a while. It is energizing. I’m grateful to know so many interesting people.

If you have trouble with pausing from focusing on what you want or your cares and worries, maybe a permanent line item on your to-do list is the prescription. It reminds you several times a day to pause and think of something good.

When Do You Think About Jesus

October 31, 2014

Computers, networking devices, software, how to use all of this to make manufacturing more efficient and effective. That’s where most of my attention is during the day.

Many, or most, of you face the same challenge. Most of your attention is on where you earn a living.

I thought about this while reading some interesting thoughts from a guy who is on the pastoral staff of a large church. Gosh, most of his thoughts must be on Jesus. Right? Or maybe not.

So where does Jesus fit in? When do you think of God?

Jesus had to have spent much time thinking about God. He always had an answer. He couldn’t have spent all day talking about the weather with his followers. We know that sometimes his attention was diverted–a woman touching him to be healed, people with diseases coming to him asking for healing, rich guys asking for advice, teachers asking him trick questions (just like they do yet today in school).

Maybe we need a post-it note on our computer screen to remind us to stop and think of Jesus? Or maybe an alert on our calendar that pops up to remind us to pray.

The reason I like Daniel so much, you know, the guy who administered the Babylonian empire and who was so good that when the Persians conquered them they kept him as top administrator, the reason I like him is that he withdrew from his office three times a day to go to his room and pray.

It is that intentional habit to stop what he’s doing and pray. Did he have an alert? Without a computer to popup an alert on the screen, did he have an assistant look in his office and alert him? Was it just built into his brain that it was time o pray?

How can I divert my attention to Jesus during the day to remember my source of inspiration?

Getting Outside Yourself

August 15, 2014

When I was younger, I tried writing poetry. There was a recurring theme that just happened. It wasn’t planned, necessarily. The theme was getting outside yourself to get to know yourself.

Leo Babauta, in a recent blog post, talked about living in a little personal bubble and how we need to get out of that bubble.

What was it, 30 or 40 years ago, when Time magazine labelled my generation as the “Me Generation”? Books have been written over the past few years about the age of Narcissism. I recently counted more than 10 recent books on living with or relating with a narcissist.

I don’t think that “me first” is unique to this generation, though. When I reflect on literature of every age even into the most ancient texts, I read men and women full of wisdom teaching about getting out of that “personal bubble” and living first for God and then for others.

One of the top goals I had for leading people into missions is to get them to see the plight of others and perhaps get outside their personal bubble and begin to think of others first instead of themselves.

One of the reasons to practice Spiritual Disciplines such as study, prayer, celebration and service is to put yourself on the track of placing your attention on God and others.

One of my small groups is studying Twelve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur. The author takes us into the personalities of Jesus’ inner circle of disciples and look at how he changed them. Regarding Phillip, he writes that Phillip was the sort of person who needs a list. But Jesus gave guidelines. Jesus gave him the freedom from lists to go out and concentrate on other people.

Jesus guidelines? Love The Lord your God with all your soul, and heart, and mind and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.

It’s all about getting out of your bubble and living for others. What actually happens is the joy and satisfaction and fulfillment you were seeking from within your personal bubble doesn’t arrive until you get out of your bubble.

How Far Can I Go Before?

June 6, 2014

How far can I go before it’s a foul? I teach the Laws of the Game of “The Beautiful Game” (soccer). My students are almost always people who wish to become referees. Sometimes it’s parents and players who wish to know more about the game.

Once I gave a presentation before a group of parents and players at a high school that was just starting a soccer program. There was very little experience among the entire group.

The boys kept saying, “All we want to know is how far can we go before it’s a foul.”

That statement reveals an utter lack of understanding about the game.

Christians can be the same. How far can I go before it’s a sin? How much sin is too much before God gets really mad?

Andy Stanley is re-running his “Guardrails” series on his “Your Move” podcasts. The idea of guardrails is that there are situations that occur in your life that should remind you to stay on the road.

Maybe I get myself into the wrong situation with the wrong people. Then that “uh, oh” feeling visits. That is a guardrail. I’ve gone almost to far off the road and I have been given a reminder to get back on the road before it’s too late and I get into big trouble.

In soccer, the referee watches the challenge for the ball. The two players are fending each other off. Then one gains an advantage by giving a push. “Tweet” goes the whistle. Everyone looks while the referee points the direction of the free kick that is given as the result of a foul.

In life, we don’t necessarily have that immediate referee (unless it’s a good parent or partner). We seemingly get away with a little foul. Then another. Then it’s our way of life. And we’re thrown out of the game.

We need to establish our guardrails to help us not get off into the danger beyond the road.

Finding Energy Amidst Dysfunction

May 27, 2014

For reasons I fail to fathom, God has placed a number of dysfunctional people into my life over the past few years. I’m not sure what’s going on there. One thing is true–relating with dysfunctional people drain my energy.

The essence of our being is energy. We need to keep our energy up to function effectively.

What to do when our energy sags? For sure, our practice of Spiritual Disciplines is deeply affected by our energy level.

The first thing is to be aware of our energy level. Do you feel the ebb and flow of your energy level?

Notice what you eat. When I eat a heavy meal in the evening, my evening studies or work are shot. Too much fat in the morning breakfast can bog you down for the entire day. There is a saying in German that is a play on words that translates to English, “Man is what he eats.”

When you notice energy lagging during the day, get up. Take a short walk. Get outside. The best way to work if you do thought work is to work in 25-45 minute bursts of concentration followed by a short break.

Meditation is a good energy booster. Sit back, close your eyes, focus on breathing. It’s a great way to refocus.

Many famous people have sworn by afternoon naps. A few years ago the concept of “power napping” became popular.

Keeping the body fit and healthy is a foundation for generating energy.

Thinking about things we are grateful about refocuses our mind and generates energy.

Then watch our attitudes. As we think, so we become. Where are our thoughts? Change our thoughts and attitudes, change our energy level.

Listening Actively Using Your Heart

April 30, 2014

For some reason, this morning I’m thinking about listening. I keep running into people who listen only to hear what they want to hear. They pick up something that satisfies their feelings and go with it.

This thought goes along with the brain research that has shown that our brain is capable of believing whatever “we” tell it to believe. Leading a reflective life, we can think about our thinking and hopefully see when that happens to us and make a course correction.

I turn to examples of people who listened. One comment I overheard recently (they weren’t talking to me, but I was listening 😉 was that Jesus listened with his heart to what people said with theirs. He heard not only the words, but also the feelings, motivations, needs, desires, fears that were all part of the message.

I thought about the powerful Persian emperor who heard Nehemiah completely when he asked what was bothering him and then listened as Nehemiah explained his pain and his hope. And then the emperor provided all that Nehemiah needed to fulfill his dream of restoring the walls of Jerusalem.

Active listening means placing our complete attention on the speaker. We think nothing. We observe. What are the words? What is the tone of voice? What is the posture of the body? Where are the eyes looking? What is the context, history? Are we looking at the person? Perhaps nodding our heads as a sign that we are listening and hearing?

And we need to listen to ourselves. Have we convinced ourselves of some truth. Maybe convincing ourselves that we listened to someone when we didn’t?

Yesterday, I listened to a podcast that is a panel of technology pundits discussing the latest company and technology news in the electronics field. One of the panelists is always an outspoken evangelist of the latest gadgets. He loved Google Glass. A year ago. Then nothing happened with the product. He explained on this latest discussion his disenchantment. Another pundit said, “Kudos to you, Robert, for not only having the courage to change your mind, but also to state it publicly.”

When you listen to others, listen completely. When you listen to yourself, listen completely. Have the courage to change your mind if you find yourself in error. That happens to the best of us.

I Saw It Coming

April 16, 2014

Ever been in a situation where you see the first incident that could lead to a decision, and then continue to observe and watch the situation degenerate into something bad?

I’m reflecting on a call I made in Sunday’s men’s soccer match. Score 3-2. Team with 3 is attacking down at the opponent’s goal. Defender puts his body against the attacker with the ball. That’s the point of decision. The point that really captures my attention. Instead of denying the attacker access to the goal by that means (legal), defender decides to start pushing against the attacker with his body. I could see it coming. He must have moved the attacker five yards. Then the attacker went down.

This is the “moment of truth.” Do I have the courage to make the call? Because of the situation with the two teams and the level of play, I called penalty kick and the score was 4-2 with one minute to play.

But the thing is, I saw it coming. And I waited to see which decision the defender made.

Same thing can happen in our relationships. Have you seen a friend, colleague, or relative find themselves in a situation and then make a small decision? And then another? And another until someone calls Foul? And you said, “I saw it coming.”

I’ve been in too many conversations where the Christians around me are calling Foul on others when they saw it coming.

What about with you? Remember Jesus’ exaggerated comparison of seeing a mote in someone else’s eye and missing the log in your own? Do you recognize when you are in a situation and making that first small decision?

Maybe it’s relationship, maybe fitness and health, maybe ethics. And someone could say, “I saw it coming.” It would be best if we saw it coming to ourselves and diverted. Or if we were kind to a fellow human and tell them we see it coming and can we help them divert.

This week the Christian community remembers Jesus’ final week. When he and his closest followers went from triumph to despair to defeat to final victory. He saw it coming. Tried to prepare the others. They didn’t understand for days. Same can happen to us.

Cultivate A Powerful Mind

April 7, 2014

Twenty minutes of quiet meditation daily rewires your brain to tap into and grow the regions responsible for a more positive outlook on life.

How many people do you know that just can’t settle down? They can’t take time to focus on just one idea at a time. Their thoughts are scattered all over and their anxieties multiply.

Is that somewhere that you’ve been? Or are now?

Brain researchers are discovering that the brain need not harden and weaken as it grows older. It can, in fact, continue to grow, add “wiring”, become more integrated. It just needs new experiences to keep it malleable and growing.

True confession–I have never read any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes novels. I own one in paperback that I don’t think I ever read. But I’ve gotten hooked on the CBS series Elementary, the Sherlock Holmes movies and the BBC adaptation mini-series on PBS. I’ve been learning about Holmes’ thought process.

Maria Konnikova has written a well researched book on Holmes’ thought process intertwined with the latest on brain research. The book is Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes. I recommend it.

Toward the end of the book, she says, “If you get only one thing out of this book, it should be this: the most powerful mind is the quiet mind. It is the mind that is present, reflective, mindful of its thoughts and it’s state. It doesn’t often multitask, and when it does, it does so with a purpose.”

I have struggled with overcoming the busy mind, anxieties, lack of focus on my life. I’m sure many others have. I’ve also spent almost 50 years researching and experiencing and reflecting on this topic. She nails it.

And every time I drift, something calls me back to a quiet mind, focus, being present in the moment.

Here are a few things I’ve discovered:

  • Start the day with quiet time, maybe a cup of coffee or tea, just relaxing and focusing on breath. (remember that in the Hebrew and Greek of the Bible breath, wind and spirit are the same word)
  • Take a break during the day at times to move around to break the momentum of stress
  • Become aware of yourself and your thoughts that reside in the background, when they are not helpful, stop and take a few deep breaths
  • Turn off email and phone when you need to concentrate on reading or work
  • When you listen, listen; when you read, read; when you meditate, mediate–become fully aware of only the present moment

Peace.