Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

Sometimes We Try Too Hard

July 31, 2013

Part of my daily routine is a morning workout. Most of the time, that includes a run in the park. Now, I’m not a distance runner. Never have been. I run daily to maintain a level of fitness. I prefer running while refereeing soccer.

When I referee, I don’t notice the running. My mind is on the match. I’m running to get into position for the next action. Or maybe to calm down some injured egos. When I run my usual 5K plus route, I only have my podcast and the end in mind.

So, I think about making it back to the car. And instead of just running at a smooth, relaxed pace, I find myself tensed up trying to make it to the finish. Some days, I find it quite difficult to concentrate on slowing my mind and just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes the spiritual life can be the same. We’re trying too hard to be the final product of spiritual development–fully mature in the spirit. But life isn’t like that. It’s a long journey where we just put one foot in front of the other–all day, every day.

Then we look back occasionally and think, “Wow, I’ve really changed.”

This becomes practical in another sense. Maybe it’s your leadership–in church, your organization, your family. You try too hard to be the finished product. You get frustrated because things are not going as well as you picture it in your mind. You’re frustrated when the goal looks so far away.

I have this when I’m working on a number of projects and the load looks overwhelming. Then I just step back, take a deep breath, and then begin tackling things one task at a time. And soon, I’m done–and feeling much better.

The first motivational speaker I ever heard at a management conference professed the mantra, “Try easy.” That phrase has stuck with me for 35 years. It’s still relevant. Let’s not get ourselves all worked up over some day in the future. Let’s just take one step at a time toward our goal.

Listening For the Call

January 18, 2011

“Can you hear me, now?” asks the mobile phone technician in the series of TV commercials. Getting heard. That’s what we all want, right? We are flooded with messages in every media we encounter. Then we meet people, and they just want to say what’s on their mind. In politics, it seems that everyone wants their opinion heard–even if there is no tainting of the opinion by facts.

I have a fault–OK, lot’s of them. Sometimes I tell more than I need to in a conversation once I get started with a story. The other day I was talking to someone and by the time she’d talked to someone else and it eventually returned to me, the story was completely changed. It was like that old parlor game “telephone.”

But–who’s listening? Folklore holds that the famous baseball catcher and manager Yogi Berra said “You can hear a lot just by listening.”

The first thing about listening is acknowledging in your own mind that there is another person. Then you need to focus on that person. And treat what they say as important–indeed, the most important thing in the world at that moment.

I’m teaching from Daniel for a short time. I really like him. If I could pick interesting people with whom I’d like to spend an evening or a day in conversation, he’d be up at the top of my list. One thing he did–he listened to people and he listened to God. Even at one point where he was troubled and another where he was perplexed by what God said, he still listened.

David talked about Abraham and Sarah Sunday. There are two other people who listened to God. They didn’t always believe what He said. They were quite old and God maintained that he would eventually send a child–they didn’t believe Him any more. But it happened.

It’s time to polish up those listening skills. Pay attention to the next person you encounter. Remain open to God’s voice–and if he talks, please listen.

Earn your way to heaven or have relationship

January 13, 2011

I listened to a speaker talking on the rich young man yesterday. He opened my eyes a little. That’s why I read and listen to as many people as possible. By the way, downloading “podcasts” (talks and shows that you put on your iPod for listening later) is a great use of time–better than TV. When I make the 4.5-hour drive to my office in Chicago, I can listen to many podcasts and learn a lot. It’s better than mind-numbing other stuff on the radio.

Anyway, he was pondering the question, was Jesus too harsh with the young man? You remember the story. Rich young man (or rich young ruler depending on which Gospel you read) comes to Jesus and asks what he must do to be saved. (Note the verb “do”) Jesus says follow the commandments (my guess is that Jesus either knew him or knew of him since he was obviously of the aristocratic class). He says he has from his youth.

Let’s pause a second there. He has followed all the commandments? That’s an audacious statement. In fact, isn’t it really impossible?

Regardless, Jesus tells him to sell everything he has and give to the poor. And the man went away unhappy.
So, was Jesus harsh? He didn’t go after him and say, “Hey, wait a minute. I’m still here. Let’s work something out.” Jesus let him go.

In one recording of the story, it begins with “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Jesus wasn’t hateful to him. I don’t think he was even trying to pile more burdens on him. I don’t think the possession thing is even the point.

The man was trying to earn his way to heaven by being good. Jesus said that we can’t earn our way to heaven. We must turn our lives around (repent) and turn our focus and belief toward God. And Jesus says that if we have a relationship with him (like being his friend) then he will help us find that focus on God and enjoy God the Father’s grace.

The man evidently was still trying to earn his way into grace. Maybe his whole life had centered on the ability to buy his way out of anything. I bet you know people like that today. Therefore, the wealth gets in the way of relationship. I bet you know people like that with their personal relationships–let alone relationship with God.

Ethics Matter In Business and in Life

January 6, 2011

Does ethics matter? If you are a leader, do you realize the impact of your ethical decisions and lifestyle on your team and on your career?

Try the situation of US Navy Captain Owen Honors (see The New York Times article).

I bet there were sighs of relief in Oxford, Ohio, home of Miami University and the “cradle of coaches” in football, when the football coach they lost to Pittsburg University had a lapse of ethics and judgement and was arrested for allegedly physically attacking his ex-girlfriend and mother of his child. He was just over two weeks on the job at Pitt when he was summarily fired.

It really pays to think. We used to live in a world where ethical lapses of our leaders were quietly hidden by press relations and media. We live in a more transparent world now where instead of whispered rumors we have public information.
And it’s not just sexual ethics or restraining our violent side. There are tons of ethical decisions facing you every day. In my business, a big one is to not be bought off by advertisers, but to retain my independence and integrity. Not that we can’t be friendly, but I have to be watchful. What are the biggest temptations you face for taking the easy route? How do you handle them?

Patience When Stressed

December 16, 2010

This is the time of the year when we are all especially stressed. More so if you have young children in the house. It seems as if there are more meetings and events to attend than there are days to do them. You’re worried about buying the right gifts. Worried about paying for them. Kids are jumpy with anticipation. It’s year end and you’re stressed at work.

Believe it or not, evidently many parents resort to feeding their children various types of drugs to calm them or put them to sleep. Ranging from cough medicine to Ritalin. Check out this CNN news item. This is scary.

It is sometimes the hardest thing for a person to do to handle emotions when stressed then hit with just one more demand from a child, a boss, a co-worker, the pastor. Even Jesus snapped a couple of times when the stress and demands got overwhelming (think cursing the fig tree, for example).

So, if we can’t be perfect, we can try. And teach others. Learning to calm yourself when you pray by focusing on slow and regular breaths is an excellent training regimen for calming your outlook on life. Try looking at yourself from outside yourself when you are in situations. Is it a pretty sight? Then try training yourself to take a deep breath and exhale slowly before responding.

Sometimes you just need to regain your perspective on life. You only have small kids for a few years of your life. It’s over before you know it. In the overall scope of your life, you can handle the stress for a few years. It’s better for you. It’s better for those around you. It’s one of the fruits of the Spirit–patience. So easy to say. So hard to do. It takes training and perspective.

Advent or Christmas Season

December 1, 2010

Are you in the Advent season? Or are you in the Christmas season? Another way to look at this thought is–are you recreating the anticipation of Jesus’ birth that signals the advent of a new movement of God’s Spirit in the world, or are you caught up in nostalgia and gift-giving just to be giving gifts–or even in gift-getting, hoping to get lots of stuff.

It’s the time of year for pastors and teachers to talk about remembering Christ. But a Sunday sermon or lesson is not enough. Then we go out and immediately become inundated with advertising seeking emotional levers in our souls to get us to buy more stuff.

What began as a simple way to remember how visitors left gifts for Jesus has become an all-out effort fraught with worry and anxiety. Part of the trouble is–at least in American society–we all have lots of stuff. What we should be doing is throwing stuff out and simplifying and uncluttering our lives. Instead, we’re asking for more stuff. Heck, even I got more stuff. I’m the owner of a new Apple iPad–my early Christmas present. I’ll use it as a tool for work, but still, I could just use what I already have.

Medieval English mystic Walter Hilton said, “For no man can be spiritually healed unless he wants and desires to be spiritually healthy.” The attributes of focus and placing attention on the right things have become my themes lately (will be tomorrow’s subject when I meet with my new boss at the magazine). Hilton states a psychological truth. You have to want to be healed before you can be–at least regarding spiritual things, and as we now know, addictions as well.

Get yourself a little reminder to keep with you that you can touch and see to remind you that you desire to put your attention on the coming of Jesus in your life and push the gift-giving frenzy back to its proper place. Do something for someone or some group. Give service, honor Jesus. Simplify. You’ll have a more enjoyable December.

Forget Goals, Find Your Passion

November 27, 2010

I returned to the US from Germany just in time for Thanksgiving. Sorry, I didn’t do an obligatory post on thanks. When I’m traveling–especially to these conferences–that extra hour to work on one of these posts just seems hard to come by. Plus I’m working on recovering my stamina after a fairly bad muscle pull Sept. 1 that but me on two weeks of bed rest, a week of physical therapy before I started a series of 6 trips in 9 weeks. In December, it’s two trips to Chicago and a trip to Tennessee/Florida over Christmas.

If I made goals like all the self-help gurus tell you to do, I’d make a goal to come up with a better schedule of how to work on the road. But that leads to my thought for day. Tomorrow is the beginning of Advent. This is a season of preparing for the future. Many people use this time in their personal lives to take stock of what they have done and think about what they’d like to accomplish. Then they make goals (sometimes called “New Year’s Resolutions”) to focus them for the coming year.

The church had a future-looking committee many years ago. As people talked, it became obvious that there were many people with many great ideas for ministries. But the committee leadership was fixated on developing a five-year plan of goals. (Or, as I have been known to observe–this form of planning worked so well for the Soviets…) But a new pastor came to town who did one pretty simple thing–he gave people permission to pursue their passions. And, wow, what a change.

So, here is some practical advice for you for the new year. Or the rest of your life. Don’t set goals. Find your passion and accomplish what you want in life while having fun doing it. My favorite lifestyle writer, Leo Babaueta, says this:

Goals take credit for our accomplishments. We give them a lot of credit for our accomplishments, but they didn’t do the work. They might have given us a direction, but in the end, the work is done on a daily basis. Goals also require that we do a lot of admin work — assess and report on how we’re doing with our goals, etc.

But remove goals from the picture and look at the gritty details of how work gets done and accomplishments happen:

  • You get excited about something. Sometimes that’s through setting goals, but it could be other ways: inspiration from someone else doing something, setting a challenge for yourself, joining a group doing something exciting, or just waking up and wanting to do something great. Or you put on ‘Hey Mama’ by Black Eyed Peas and start shaking your booty and want to get moving.
  • You take action.
  • Maybe you report your new thing to others — on your blog or Twitter or Facebook or an online forum, or just telling your friends.
  • You might make it a part of your life for a little while.
  • You take more action.
  • You tell people about how you’re doing.
  • Pretty soon you’ve done something amazing.
  • Notice that goals are only one way to do this.

So, here you go. I wish you all the best in finding your passion while you meditate on Jesus’ coming during this Advent season. You might spend the month asking what he wants you to be doing. Oh, yes, but then you have to listen. Then, do.

How to be like children

November 18, 2010

If you ever give presentations and wish you knew how to do the right, Garr Reynolds through his book and blog Presentation Zen are a good place to start.But that’s not why I’m thinking of him today. His latest blog post reminds me of a teaching of Jesus who told us to become like little children. Adults debate what he meant even today. But Reynolds watches kids, and has summarized “13 communication and life tips that children teach us.”

Read his post to get the entire message, but here are some thoughts I find especially relevant.

  • Be completely present in the moment
  • Allow for spontaneity
  • Move your body
  • Play and be playful
  • Do not concern yourself with impressing people
  • Show your enthusiasm
  • Be insanely curious
  • Smile, laugh, enjoy
  • Slow down

I like these–and try to live them.

Are You Acting The Part of a Spiritual Person

November 17, 2010

Humans are great actors. Most won’t make it in Hollywood. But most of us try to act like someone we’re not in real life. We dress a certain way to impress people. We show up in church. We show up for certain service activities. We may even hold doors open for others. Or say “please” and “thank you.”

But what is inside? Do we care at all for those we serve? Are we full of anger, hurt, bitterness, vengefulness, envy, greed? It’s easy to be caught up in some of those emotions–emotions that can crowd God out of the picture and our lives. Anger seems to be the prevalent emotion in America today. Most likely caused by underlying feelings of greed, selfishness and envy.

I live in America and travel frequently to Europe. I speak only a little German and very little French. I can watch a little TV and see magazines, though, and see the same things as here–a supersaturation of marketing trying to reach the depths of emotions of needing things to be satisfied (or sexy, or beautiful, or accepted). Those are all external things with which we act a part in a play. And we buy it. Literally.

But, what are you left with?

The real need is to be in relationship with God. Bring your inner life into congruence with what your outside life sometimes says. Saying you have faith is one thing. But living with God is another. Living with God requires stepping back in your mind and observing yourself. Catch yourself when you get caught up in some of those emotions–and you will get caught up in them. Then remember your friend–Jesus. His example and teaching were meant to help us line up our thoughts, as well as deeds, with God.

This takes effort. You must slow down your life and reflect. Pray as a conversation where you talk and you listen. Don’t pray that someone else’s faults are corrected. Pray that your own faults will be corrected. Simplify your life so that you quit acting a part and start living the part.

Work Your Way Out of Spiritual Darkness

November 15, 2010

After spiritual highs come spiritual lows. After Jesus’ baptism and vision came 40 days in the wilderness full of temptations. St. John of the Cross wrote “Dark Night of the Soul” describing the phenomenon. Happens to all of us. Sometimes we just don’t “feel” the presence of God.

How do you get over that feeling and get back to the with-God life? Thomas a Kempis writes that you should do good works. Modern psychologists hold that you should consciously act the way you want to be and feel, and it will come. I wrote earlier about looking for opportunities to start the day by doing something good for someone. It turns out that that is good for your soul.

You are not saved through your works–God’s grace takes care of that. You don’t want to be like the early American Puritans who held that God picks some and not others. You don’t know if you’re one, but you don’t want the community to know that you’re not in the chosen, so you act like you are. No, those are false trails.

It’s simply that you can’t trust emotions. You have accepted God’s grace. But you just don’t feel it every day, every minute. What you do, is look for that first opportunity to do something good for someone. As soon as you do, then it’s easier to do it again. And that will help you get your focus back on God–where it belongs.