Posts Tagged ‘focus’

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Great Leaders Have Great Interpersonal Skills

January 8, 2016

We were at a dinner. It was a special dinner with several courses each paired with a wine. The idea was to teach a little about wine and also sell the wines, of course.

It was a group experience. Most of us came as couples, not as a large group. We entered the room to discover it was set up with several long tables. We were going to share a table with six people whom we did not know.

The man adjacent to my wife was an owner of a local company. He was personable. Asked a lot of questions of my wife and the other people. Seemed genuinely interested in the other people’s lives.

My wife has been to many business dinners with me by now and has met many business owners or ranking executives. She comes from a working class background, so it was initially all new to her.

After the dinner on the drive home, she said, “Men like him are always interested in other people. They make others feel at ease. They are interested in others.”

An astute observation.

Recently while reading on leadership, I ran across this observation, “Great leaders have great interpersonal skills. They care for their people. As a leader, you need to know how to listen quietly and hear what people are really saying, by asking questions and being open to the truth. When challenges come, it’s especially important to open up and show you care.”

I’m watching a friend start a new business. He really cares about all the people he has hired for the team. He guides those who need a little help. He encourages each one. It’s a joy to watch.

No matter where you are called to be a leader, this is a great role model. Leadership isn’t all about me. It’s really all about them. How can I help them? How can I nurture them? How much do I care?

 

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Disciplines, Leadership | Leave a Comment »

What Are We Seeking

January 6, 2016

Do you have a “life verse”?

I never heard about that concept until just a few years ago. Bill Hybels talked once about having a verse from the Bible that was his guide. I’ve heard of others who pick a verse for the year.

This is something I’ve never done. Just never entered my awareness. It seems like a good thing.

Recently I heard a talk where the speaker talked about choosing this one as his verse of the year:

Seek first the Kingdom of God…

This is interesting and very  much worth contemplating.

Seeking? Am I seeking for something this year? That would be actively looking for, expecting, intentional. Something like the shepherd seeking his lost sheep, or the woman seeking her lost coin, or the father seeking his lost son.

Am I seeking more business? A new mission? A new friend? Money? Health? Happiness?

Jesus suggested that we choose one thing first to seek. There are many things I want. Some I am intentionally praying in expectation for. But what is the most important? What should I seek before anything else? The one thing that would bring everything else along with it.

Jesus had a suggestion there, too. The Kingdom of God.

Jesus had many analogies and metaphors of the Kingdom of God. They all seemed to have a common thread of finding God and letting him live in my being. Or, perhaps better, like I am a branch on a grape vine. The juices that bring life to me, the branch, come from God. It is as if I have sought him out and his spirit, his life force, flows through my veins.

Seek first the Kingdom of God. Yes, I think that is a good theme for the year. A good pursuit. Every day I get up and think, am I seeking for the Kingdom of God today?

Seek first the Kingdom of God and then all these things will be added unto you. I like that.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

God’s Grace Is Better Than Rules

January 5, 2016

One thing about rules–everyone can have their own set. And feel good about it. A set of rules that we say we’re following places us apart from other people. And at a higher plane. We feel closer to God.

When I scan the news of the day, I see self-described “Christians” or people the news media enjoys calling “Christians” doing all manner of bad or evil things all justified by saying that they are following their set of god-given rules.

Maybe that is a reason Andy Stanley likes to say that calling yourself a Christian is pretty meaningless since it’s so hard to define. Jesus-follower, though, that is very well defined and hard to do.

I’ve been deep in study of Paul’s letter to the Galatians. He shows his anger and disappointment in those early believers because they slipped back into being rule followers instead of grace accepters.

Very early in the journal of the Acts of the Apostles, Mr. Jewish Christian himself, Peter, is shown by God that the Gospel and God’s Grace are available to all. Forget the rules that set Jews apart from everyone else. The Gospel breaks that all apart.

Grace is sufficient.

My heart breaks when I see people who think that they are following Jesus overcome with anger and hate and drawing up rules that set them apart from others.

That is the very attitude that has driven so many people I know away from the church and made them suspicious of the Gospel.

It’s easy to see why. Would you rather join a group that is suspicious of outsiders, bound up with rules, and shuns or even hates people who are different–or join a group that is welcoming, laughs and smiles a lot, sings, helps people in need whoever and wherever they are?

Every once in a while step back and look at the groups you are a part of–church, small group, service organization. See it with the eyes of an outsider. Is it welcoming? Is it helpful? Does it reveal God’s grace to others?

If not, it’s time to either work to change it or to say good-bye and find another group.

We teach new soccer referees that the profession is the only one where you are expected to be perfect from the first minute you set foot on the pitch and then improve!

Sometimes we treat people coming into church the same way. You need to be perfect according to our rules before you come–and then get better!

Grace says, join us first. Discover grace. We’ll get better together.

Tags:, , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Attitude, Christianity, Disciplines, Evangelism, Grace | 1 Comment »

Become A New Creation

December 31, 2015

Decide first for the year not what you will do but who you will be.

I was led to study 2 Corinthians 5 this morning. While reading and contemplating, this phrase popped, “if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation.”

Devoting ourselves to spiritual practices, or disciplines, is simply a means of working on the maturity of that creation.

I may be a new creation, but there seems to be continual work on becoming the sort of person that I should be. I don’t think Paul thought we stopped at becoming the new creation or he wouldn’t have written the last few chapters of Romans. It’s on how you live.

The Bible as a whole is not a text book of science, or of philosophy, or of theology, or of history. The Bible is a manual. It is our guide on how to live, how to relate to God, how to relate to others, how to become the sort of person pleasing to God.

We get off the track when we get into petty arguments. We are on track when we ask at the end of one year and the beginning of the next:

What kind of person was I last year? What kind of person will I be next year?

Generous? Joy filled? Sober? Filled with gratitude? Peaceable? Helpful?

Or the opposite.

You can make your daily decisions about how to act in the situation by firmly being aware of what kind of person you wish to be.

Choose wisely!

Tags:, , , , , , , ,
Posted in Disciplines, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

Review Last Year, Choose New Habits For This Year

December 30, 2015

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

The last post talked about finding your mountain of “stuckness” and turning.

This week is an ideal time to take a thoughtful look back. Get out your calendar. See where you went; what you did. Where did I waste time? Where did I invest? Is there a trip I made last year that I should do again and improve upon?

Open your list manager. What did you accomplish? What is left? What can be dropped? What must be added to be what I want to be this year?

Who are the people I met with? Who should I have met with? Where can I set aside time to intentionally find people with whom I should mentor or converse next year?

Now, let’s take a look at our friend Aristotle.

We are what we repeatedly do.

That means what we need to work on this year are a couple of new habits. Steve Carter talked about lifting the idea of 40 days from the Deuteronomy story that related to the Hebrews. Do something for 40 days. Make a commitment.

Each day for the next 40 days, I will [fill in the blank]. After 40 days it will become a habit.

Sometimes we fall into bad or sloppy habits. Reading the wrong thing, sleeping in, talking instead of working out, eating that doughnut.

We must become self-aware. See ourselves as if from the outside doing that behavior. Then we decide to replace that bad habit with a desirable one. That is practice.

Let’s repeatedly do excellence. It really is a Spiritual Discipline.

Tags:, , , , , , ,
Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Make 2016 Your Best Year Yet

December 28, 2015

The church staff planning meeting must have been interesting. Well, December 27 is the Sunday after Christmas and before New Years. We need to have a New Year’s Resolutions teaching.

Steve, why don’t you take that? What text would you use?

How about Deuteronomy?

Of course, Deuteronomy. Why didn’t I think of that? <cue head slap>

Teaching Pastor Steve Carter of Willow Creek taught as well about the famous resolutions problem as I’ve heard. You can click the link and watch or listen.

From Deuteronomy 1:6-7–plan your journey, turn toward the promise, go. But before all that, figure out what your Mount Horeb is.

For the Israelites, it was a place of rest and seeming comfort following years of aimless wandering through the deserts.

Problem–the promised land was just “over there.” But they weren’t looking “over there.” They were stuck. God said, “Turn.” Then God said, “Go.”

Our problem–

Where did we get stuck last year. What was your Horeb? Carter says to stop, contemplate, and then name your mountain. Overeating? Overstressed? Overrevving? Overreacting? Overwhelmed?

I’ve always used this week of the calendar to contemplate and review. Yes, years ago I did the self-help guru advice of goal setting and New Year’s Resolutions. I wrote them down. Put them in the front of my DayTimer calendar.

I accomplished exactly none of them.

Then I discovered first getting my heart right. Then uncovering where it seems that God is leading me. Then determining one or more–but not too many–projects that will move me forward. (Note: a project is something that takes more than one task to complete.)

This allows for much more serendipity to enter my life. I can move with changes. Yet, I’m still moving toward being the person God wants me to be.

Name your mountain; turn toward the promise; go.

Tags:, , , , ,
Posted in Disciplines, Thinking | Leave a Comment »

What Is Our Influence on People

December 16, 2015

Oh, sweetie, just put on a smile and you’ll get over it.

God will heal you if you believe hard enough.

Just stop sinning and then come to our church.

Sometimes I wonder whether in my social awkwardness whether I’ve said something as callous and stupid as one of those statements. Or maybe in a spiritually blind moment.

Have you ever heard someone approaching someone in need and just trampling all over their feeling seemingly oblivious to the person beneath the skin?

There are two reasons that people don’t come to know Jesus

  1. They don’t know any Christians.
  2. They do.

People need a guide and a mentor. They need someone who has battled the demons and come through on the other side. The 12-step people have something there.

There are people who think they have great knowledge and want to go around like Santa depositing gifts of advice on everyone.

Then there are people who really do have knowledge and wisdom, but they don’t realize it. They don’t know when they really could step in and help. These people need to be awakened. Then they could join the mentor group.

Lean Manufacturing, or Lean Thinking, teaches us that people are important. It also teaches to keep probing around a problem until we finally come to the “root cause”. Then, and only then, can we begin the process of finding a solution.

Same with people. If we don’t want to be either 1 or 2 above, then what we do is stop thinking advice and start thinking about the person. The problem probing technique is called “5 Whys.” If you keep asking Why, eventually you will come to the root of the problem.

When you are working with a hurting person, you don’t begin with advice. You ask them in a trustworthy way what is wrong, how they feel, why they think it happened, when did it start, who caused the problem. Rudyard Kipling’s six faithful serving men, who, what, when, where, why, and how.

Asking shows interest. It helps the other figure out things. Answer when asked, ask when they’re silent.

Be the type of Jesus-follower who shows concern and offers help–not the “Christian” who pompously showers advice upon unsuspecting victims.

Tags:, , , , , ,
Posted in Compassion, Listening, Love, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »

Why Is It So Hard To Listen?

December 14, 2015

Why is it so hard to listen?

I walked into the President of the company’s office. I was head of marketing and engineering at the time.

“Gary, nobody listens to me,” he moaned.

“Huh?” I tactfully replied.

“Nobody listens to me.”

“Huh?”

“Gary, nobody listens to me,” he tried again.

“Huh?”

I finally broke his mood, and we got productive.

OK, what I was trying to do was break through his “woe is me” mood and move on. Problem was, the team of vice presidents (including me, too) just didn’t listen to him. He had lost us.

One reason people don’t listen is that either you don’t have much to say, or you say it way too frequently.

More often the problem is with the listener. We just don’t practice active listening.

Some are trapped inside a narcissistic personality. They are so focused on themselves that they don’t hear other people. Ask a narcissist if they are, and they’ll tell you. “You seem to think about yourself first.” “Well, yes, of course.” (As in, doesn’t everyone?)

Narcissism is a major problem in society right now. But not everyone is narcissistic.

Some just have problems of their own. Like my boss, they just can’t break out of the cycle of despair to even see other people.

Some people are easily distracted. They may be talking with you, but their attention keeps drifting elsewhere. Smart phone notifications anyone?

How about caring? I should have known about the Baby Boomers’ self-centeredness way back in my senior year in college. I was tutoring a guy in German so that he could graduate and accept a good job. I said something about having empathy for a professor. “I don’t have time for someone else,” he replied. Well, at least his wife smiled and thanked me when he passed and graduated.

Why is it so hard to listen? Probably because we just don’t try.

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Attitude, Listening, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Seven Principles Of Thinking Like Da Vinci

November 11, 2015

Michael J. Gelb’s book, How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci, reminds us of how to elevate our consciousness, creativity, and contribution.

I talked about curiosity as the first principle Monday. Let me quickly summarize the entire seven. Then go pick up the book and dive into the details. The bonus last chapter teaches how to draw like da Vinci–maybe not as good, but builds on his ideas.

(Gelb uses the Italian. Go figure.)

  • Curiosita–Am I asking the right questions?
  • Dimostrazione–How can I improve my ability to learn from my mistakes and experiences? How can I develop my independence of thought?
  • Sensazione–What is my plan for sharpening my senses as I age?
  • Sfumato–How can I strengthen my ability to hold creative tension to embrace the major paradoxes of life?
  • Arte/Scienza–Am I balancing Arte and Scienza at home and at work?
  • Corporalita–How can I nurture the balance of body and mind?
  • Connessione–How do all the above elements fit together? How does everything connect to everything else?

It is about body, mind, and spirit. You can, and probably should, incorporate these into your spiritual practices. Something to think about.

Tags:, , , , , , , ,
Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Do Not Lag in Zeal

October 7, 2015

Do you ever find yourself during the day with a loss of focus, lack of energy, and uncertainty about what to do next?

It happens to us personally. There are times when I just can’t seem to focus and find the energy to do something.

Still deep into studying Roman and looking at the third paragraph of chapter 12, I read “outdo one another in showing honor, do not lag in zeal, be ardent in the spirit.”

Look at those verbs. Outdo, do not lag, be ardent. Action words. Don’t sit around and mope. Do something.

So, what causes the problem?

  • trouble making a decision
  • too many things to do, feeling swamped
  • not focused on the next task (check your Nozbe app!)
  • the food you ate
  • not enough sleep
  • not centered in purpose

I think we can sense that corporately, whether in church or business. Check these thoughts.

  • loss of vision
  • everyone with an opinion, no one with a direction
  • leadership that kills motivation
  • politics
  • no one cares
  • people just want to get along, like a little club
  • forget about those you’re serving

If you personally get into this state of being, it’s time to 

  • pause
  • breathe
  • consciously refocus
  • remind yourself of the purpose of the day
  • go to the to do app and choose the next action
  • oh, and go to work (nothing cures apathy like work)

If it is a corporate thing, then

  • there is a real need for a leader to step forward
  • start reminding people of the purpose / vision
  • refocus on those whom the organization is serving
  • determine tasks
  • go to work

There is much work to do between the steps. But both situations require pause, breathe, focus on vision, go to work.

I think that whoever read these words of Paul “be ardent in the spirit” knew exactly what he meant. Paul must have lived that command daily. As should we.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Doing | Leave a Comment »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »