Posts Tagged ‘Discipline’

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And They Will Know You By How You Live

May 11, 2015

Today’s lesson concerns how we live…ethics.

I learned marketing many years ago and sometimes consult with companies about their marketing strategies (or lack of as is often the case). So, I’m always reading about the topic.

Luke writes at the end of chapter 2 while describing the explosive growth of the new movement of Jesus-followers, “having earned the goodwill of all the people.” People all around the Mediterranean rim at the time were attracted to Jesus because of the way his followers lived.

Jesus even told us that his followers would be known by the way they lived–love being an action verb.

How does that relate to marketing? How does marketing relate to our lives?

A couple of nice examples presented themselves this week.

Some marketing people, and presumably the CEO, of Keurig had a brilliant idea. The company makes household appliances including a one-cup-at-a-time coffee brewer. I have one. Love it. Just like the razor blade model or the ink jet printer model where the company makes money from the continual lock in of replacing blades or ink regularly, Keurig marketers thought they would force customers to use its coffee supplies packaged in K-cups.

Within hours, technology blogs were posted with ways to defeat this lock in so that we could still use our own coffee beans. Sales of the Keurig 2 machine–and for the company–dropped.

The CEO acknowledged the reason for the drop in sales as customers just wanted to use their own beans and so bought rivals’ products. Duh. That’s not unethical, just stupid. Not knowing one’s customers.

But stupid leads to questionable ethics.

I’m watching my granddaughter play a “game” on an Amazon tablet. She’s 5. Building necklaces for the Strawberry Shortcake character.

Strawberry says that you can add a picture of her or one of her friends to the locket. So, little girls tap one of her friends and is taken to a page where you can buy the friend package for $9.95 each. My granddaughter realizes she can’t use those pictures and just starts tapping other things. Mostly she likes taking pictures of herself or other people.

But how can a group of people sit in a conference room and discuss how to increase revenue. Well, we need “in-app” sales. How can we entice our under-10 customers to buy additional items? Let’s make it appear that they can add something only to be diverted to a page for purchasing. If an astute parent has not set blocks and controls, a considerable bill could be accumulated. Or much discord strewn in the home while little Susie whines about wanting more stuff.

Thank you marketers.

I have invested in a coffee shop (hence my Keuring example about coffee) where the fundamental value accepted by all investors and managers starts with ethics. Treat people from the farmer who grows the beans to the employees to the customer to the community with the best ethics.

Others can also decide to build companies on ethical foundation. And all of us can look for ethical companies for our purchases.

People will want to know about us by the way we live, by the way we transact business, by the way we treat all people.

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What One Thing

April 16, 2015

I first heard Andy Stanley talk about Nehemiah several years ago. He boiled it down to a talk about What One Thing. That talk was just repeated (or given again) in this week’s Your Move podcast/video.

Combining this thought along with Dr. Henry Cloud’s thoughts on “Necessary Endings” significantly changed my life for the better. I’ve removed myself from a couple of dysfunctional relationships and found new focus.

Nehemiah was the man who served the Persian emperor Artaxerxes somewhere around 444 BC. He heard a report from his brother about the terrible condition of the walls around Jerusalem destroyed by the previous empire–that of the Babylonians (the two are still fighting each other, by the way).

He decided to do something about it. So he went to Jerusalem as sort of mayor and project manager and started rebuilding the walls.

This work was going so well that some enemies in the plains below the city got worried. They needed to get rid of Nehemiah and stop the work. So they sent a message to him as a lure into a trap to come down from the city (which is on a mountain) to meet with them.

Nehemiah replied, “I am doing a great work, and I cannot come down.”

Great Work

If you use this time of the year for reflection and rededication as I do, this is a great thought to meditate on.

What great work am I or should I be doing this year?

  • Ending a relationship?
  • Beginning a relationship?
  • Strengthening a relationship?
  • Breaking a habit?
  • Starting a new ministry?
  • Becoming more compassionate?

Figure it out. As we set our minds, so shall we become. Let’s set our minds on our great work.

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Be Calm To Reach Successful Life

April 14, 2015

The Yoga class is in the final 5-6 minutes in what we call “final relaxation.” There are people, usually called mothers of young children, who look forward to this twice-a-week ritual. Freedom from demands, noise, worries. This is the first stage of meditation. For many people, it’s all they need.

Over the years of teaching, I’ve noticed a few people who just cannot settle in for even 5 minutes. Usually they are about 18 years old and female. Lately I’ve noticed a woman probably right in the middle of middle age (she has a daughter in her mid-20s). She cannot lay quietly.

Last night she mentioned it. I gave her some tips on sounds or visualizations to help her focus and calm her breathing. I told her it could change her personality. Become less up-tight, calmer in situations, reduce worry, feel less stress. It’s all actually quite healthful. Her daughter was encouraging her to try it.

This calmness is essential for truly successful living. We actually achieve more by seeming to do less. Those who live in a flurry of activity are often not all that productive.

Great examples are quarterbacks in American football. Their position demands that they be the leader. The great winning quarterbacks achieve a calmness combined with intensity that inspires the team in the face of adversity. Watching Joe Montana in his prime or Tom Brady today, we can see that in action.

Just 5-10 minutes a day of quiet will eventually change your life. You will begin to achieve that calm focus–or return to it when circumstances pull you into frenetic worry or something.

Oh, and my tips:

  • Focus on breath, consciously begin to slow its pace
  • If you like sound, repeat a sound in your head–doesn’t matter too much what it is–ahh, om, god, love, whatever
  • If you have visual imagination, go off in your imagination to a beach and feel the sand and hear the surf, or lie in a meadow in the mountains in summer, or maybe walk down a country lane seeing a gate in a hedge fence opening and entering and finding an orchard with a bench sitting on the bench and resting. You get the idea.
  • Do not force random thoughts out. Just let them drift away as you return to your breath.

There is nothing particularly mystic about this, so far. You will start to slow down your processes and stop fidgeting. I know many people who would be well served (and their followers) to practice this. There are 535 who meet in a great domed building in Washington, D.C., for example. You probably know others. Perhaps yourself.

Calm yourself, focus, achieve.

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The Tongue Can Cause Great Hurt

March 30, 2015

No one can tame the tongue, full of restless evil and deadly poison. James

She heard that a certain group of people were plotting against a leader. She felt the greatest sympathy for the leader. Surely the source was correct. All the insinuations fit precisely within her already formed prejudices.

It became so easy to just begin telling people about the great injustice. Tell people about those evil people.

And there was more than one she.

And he heard something about another person. And then he saw something suspicious. Not sure what it was, but in his mind it became something else. Bigger. Worse. He just had to tell colleagues. It’s only natural.

Yet another person figured out within the mind what motivated another person. The analysis slipped out in conversation one day.

In every case and more, the word never stops with the friend you just happened to speak with. It spreads. Eventually to the target of the talk.

It may not have even felt like gossip. It felt righteous. A feeling of relief swetpt over the mind and body with the unburdening of the information.

Except.

Except, it was all wrong. There was no basis in fact. There was no attempt at finding facts. And once spoken, the words become beliefs.

Some people make this stuff up in order to gain some sort of advantage or to gain some sort of emotional release. Most of us? Well, most of us just talk without thinking.

And it hurts. The target will hurt deeply.

I’ve witnessed so much of this in my life. Many times just within the past 12-18 months. 

It scares me. I wonder about every off-hand remark I might have made. Every wrong analysis.

James was so right about the tongue. And it is so hard to control.

I also found Psalm 15 and Micah 6:8 to further convict me.

The Renovare Life With God Bible in the commentary on James tells us that we must learn to discipline our wrong emotions and bring them under God’s  control. 

I hurt for those who have been wrongly hurt by an unthinking tongue. Just hoping I’m more of a calm and peace-seeking influence than a fire-starter.

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Being the Church Not Necessarily Being At Church

February 24, 2015

For those of my readers who belong to a church, do you know the people who seem to always be in the building whenever the doors are open?

Some people have been so dedicated, or something, to their church that they feel they must be involved in everything. Committee meetings, choir practice, kitchen duty, fold bulletins.

There is a value to some of that. But, at some point you have to pause and ask why you feel the need to be away from the family that much. Or, maybe like me, you just feel a need to serve. That makes it difficult for me to say the “N” word–NO. I’m learning. I’ve been pushing things off on others in one form or another for years. I call it developing leaders.

When we were called to be the church, we were not called to be at the church at all times. The spiritual discipline of service should not be skewed into service within the four walls of your building. In fact, it’s hard to be the church when you are at the church building.

Being the church calls outside. To meet with those along the way. Heal, teach, help, listen. Do as Jesus did as he walked the land. He is master; we are disciple. We are called to practice as the master practiced.

Our congregation offers many ways for people to be the church locally, regionally, internationally. But even that should not be a limit. Wherever we go, there  we are the church.

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Developing Trust From Others

February 5, 2015

Trust. One simple word scrawled on the page. I carry a small notebook almost everywhere I go. When ideas come from whatever source, I make a note. If they are worth saving, I take a picture with my iPhone and the Evernote app and save the page to Evernote.

For some reason I thought I should write about trust.

Trust, in itself, is not a spiritual discipline. It is the result or byproduct of living with-God and practicing spiritual formation.

Having the trust of your colleagues is crucial to an effective leader. Think about leaders with whom you have served–those you trusted and those you didn’t. Are you like me and still shudder when the mere thought of one of those latter leaders pops into consciousness.

Trust is a belief in the reliability of someone. Have you ever heard the phrase, “How you act speaks so loudly that I can hear what you say”? It’s when what you do and what you say are congruent.

In the Bible, trust is used exclusively in regard to God. God is the one who can be believed to be reliable beyond all others.

About 70 leaders in our church gathered last Saturday to study from “Crucial Conversations” a book written to help people not escalate problems when a conversation turns serious. I guess I thought then that it would be hard to have a crucial conversation with someone whom you don’t trust. At that point, it’s too late and you’ve lost.

What am I saying? When I teach spiritual practices, does my life reflect that I actually do them? When have I promised and not followed through?

The Acts 2 church grew because people were attracted to the way they lived. Would anyone be attracted to my church or fellowship because of the way I (we) live?

As my meditation on this word ends this morning, I’ve concluded that this isn’t one of those bullet point sort of lessons. I can’t give five easy steps to earn trust. All I can say is to look back at the end of every day and reflect on when you were congruent and when you weren’t. Then resolve to do more of the first tomorrow.

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Lure of Lifestyle or Spiritual Discipline of Simplicity

February 4, 2015

One thing about living most of my life in the same small city, I have seen many people grow from stage to stage in life. I remember when a bunch of guys were in their 30s and 40s. They were posturing for importance. Living an upscale and hard-driving lifestyle. Now they are 60s and 70s. They, for the most part, have come to see what’s really important in life—relationships, service, being comfortable in who they are.

Lure of Lifestyle

My friend Jim Pinto, who has turned his attention from automation (since he doesn’t write for me anymore) to thoughts on how to live, reminds us to focus on what’s important. In Lure of Lifestyle, he says, “Now, I don’t feel particularly miserly, but I really don’t understand the rationale of the luxury lifestyle. In fact, I remember the remark of a guy who ignored the champagne at a fancy reception and asked for a beer. “Hey!” he said, “I’m rich enough to drink what I want, not what looks good.”

These days, when I see somebody posturing beyond their means, I remember a Texas cattleman’s wisecrack: “Big hat, no cattle!” This was the name of a song by Randy Newman.”

Fits a Career

I think this fits a career, too. Most of the time I’ve been in leadership (I wish I had been this good all the time), the important question became, “How can I help you?” After defining roles and hiring the best people (I’ve missed a few times, much to my downfall—one guy turned out to be quite the political manipulator), that is the best approach to management.

Spiritual discipline

One of the basic twelve spiritual disciplines outlined by Richard Foster in “Celebration of Discipline” is simplicity or the simple lifestyle.

While there are many products that improve our lives, we can easily acquire a huge pile of junk. Stuff we use for a few days and then gather dust. Stuff that’s cheaply made and don’t last but somehow stays around.

We’ve got to have the huge pickup truck, not to haul things but solely to impress people. Or the Aspen vacation that we can’t afford but that will impress everyone back home.

Practicing the simplicity discipline, we buy what we need. We invest in experiences, not in things to impress. We focus on what’s important in life—not on what we think will impress people who are usually too busy trying to impress other people to notice you’re trying to impress them.

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Make It a Habit

February 2, 2015

Last night’s Super Bowl was an exciting game of American football. The outcome was not certain until only 17 seconds were left in the game.

In the final contested play, a New England defensive back stepped in front of a Seattle receiver and intercepted the pass. After the game, the back was asked about the play. He said he couldn’t describe it. Of course, asking people to analyze something in the height of great emotion is pretty stupid, but I bet it’s true that he didn’t know.

His coaches had taught him cues to watch and responses to make. Then they practiced it over and over. It became a habit. He saw the play develop. His muscle memory recognized the situation and acted just as he had been trained.

Paul uses an athletic analogy at the end of chapter 9 of 1 Corinthians. He talks of an athlete disciplining his body. He says he does not run aimlessly nor box by flailing away at the air.

If Paul had read Charles Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit,” he would have understood. Learn to read the “cue;” take action; reap the reward.

That is why spiritually alive people have cultivated habits to keep them spiritually in tune with God.

You rise early in the morning heading toward your favorite chair in order to spend 15 minutes (or more) reading from the Bible or other spiritual work. You follow that with prayer and meditation for a few more minutes.

It is your habit to regularly meet with other seekers. You regularly gather with others to celebrate and worship.

And many more–fasting, living simply, serving others.

Just as a trained athlete acts to win a game, we can act to deepen our spiritual lives.

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Practice Treating Your Body Well

January 27, 2015

Paul, the apostle, often used athletic metaphors for training for spiritual life or as an example of spiritual life.

Even beyond that, he talked about how our bodies are the temple of the spirit. We can only vaguely understand how revolutionary the statement would have been in the first century. Temple? That was the huge compound build atop a high hill where God dwelled and sacrifices were offered.

As a follower of the risen Messiah, Paul figured out that when the spirit came as Jesus promised that it needed a home. But the Temple was now history. The home was the human body and the ekklesia.

Is everyone’s New Years Resolution to lose weight? 15 in15 as our pastor has been preaching?

Let me be practical. Give up drinking sodas. Regular or diet. Both whet your appetite for even more sugar. The only time you can use that in your body is following intense physical effort–really intense. Otherwise, stay away from soda.

I think the best thing that the fast food restaurants have done lately is provide unsweetened ice tea. If you have to eat there, at least you don’t have to drink the soda.

If my vision of myself is that as the temple of God’s spirit, then I will intentionally consider what I bring into my body to keep it as clean and strong as possible.

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New Year Practice To Simplify

January 16, 2015

Daniel, the one who has a book in the Bible named for his story, found himself as a young man in the palace of the most powerful king of the time. He was surrounded by luxury, wealth, rich food.

He and his friends asked to be spared from the rich food and be allowed to eat simple, yet nutritious meals of fruits and vegetables. Their health proved their wisdom.

Later (Chapter 5), he is offered wealth and position for interpreting some mysterious writing on a wall. He told them to keep the rewards, but he would interpret the writing.

I do not advocate New Year’s Resolutions or goals. For several years, I’d write out a list of goals every year–I’d weigh x amount, I’d write a book (or something), etc. It never really worked.

What worked was seeing myself in the future–how I looked, what I had accomplished, what my ministry would be, and so on. Then, I planned my days to build habits to work toward those visions.

One habit is to look around your life and your surroundings at least once per year and see what you’ve accumulated that you don’t need. If, unlike Daniel’s example, we didn’t turn down things before we got them, then it is timely to get rid of things in order to simplify our life.

I’ve done this for years. Get rid of “stuff” laying around that has no use. Get rid of toxic relationships. Get rid of things that grab my time so that I can focus on doing the things I want.

Too much “stuff” is a burden; it is an obstacle to living a life focused on God.

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