Posts Tagged ‘compassion’

Diversity Is Good Celebrate Difference

January 19, 2015

Have you noticed how often on Facebook that there are many people who talk about being individualist and celebrate political comments of individuality, yet they are all the same? They conform to common thoughts and opinions. Pretty much dress alike, too, depending a little upon age.

I heard Dr. King speak once. He was a classmate of our campus chaplain at Ohio Northern University. Dr. Udy invited him, and he came and spoke. We were almost all white. We were almost all Republican–in an era where that was becoming a code-word for being against civil rights. But he spoke well.

And, I, too, shared that dream that all people would be accepted for their character, not for their race, gender, religion. It has been a long process. It’s been 50 years. We’re closer, but, as you can see from Facebook postings where evidently people feel free to spout off about anything, we’re still far away.

Here is yet another study that shows why you should promote diversity and legitimate sharing on your teams–whether at work, church, civic organizations. The article discussing it is called, Sensitivity, Women, Sharing: What Makes Teams Smart, by Orion Jones. This one dealt more with women, but it shares results with other earlier studies that include race and ethnic diversity along with gender.

When teams of professionals are composed of more women, share ideas in equal part, and are emotionally perceptive, they make better decisions and find better solutions to problems.

As part of an emerging science of effective teamwork, researchers at MIT and Carnegie Mellon University have been asking why some teams, like some individuals, are measurably smarter than others.

The smartest teams were distinguished by members which contributed more equally to the discussion, were better at reading complex emotional states in lab settings, and were composed of more women (possibly because women are better at identifying emotion).

I try to the best of my ability to treat all people the same. I give them a chance to prove whether I should continue to associate with them, trust them, or do business with them all on an individual basis. Let’s celebrate the memory of Martin Luther King, Jr. by just quietly accepting others and quietly promoting diversity in our teams and groups.

 

Measure Your Priorities in Life

December 22, 2014

Jesus told us to watch what we do with our money, wealth and possessions. Their use is an indicator of the status of our heart.

This is probably a good time of the year to pause our hectic holiday activities and search out what our priorities are.

Where are your priorities? How can we know? This time of year, commercialization grabs center stage. Yet, also, there are opportunities to donate to any of seemingly a million causes. Do you pick some causes important to you or your understanding of mission? Do you donate? Or is your spending ruled by yourself?

Christmas is a boom time for luxury car sales. Those must be presents for oneself.

You can apply this to other areas of life. Take a look at a church budget and divide into two buckets. Take a look at your personal overall budget and put into two buckets. Check out your Christmas budget. Yep. Divide into two buckets. One bucket is for your personal (or the church’s internal) use. The other is for outreach/mission/evangelism/other-focused. What is the proportion of one bucket to the other? If it is greater than 50/50 weighted toward inward/personal, what does that say about you?

Pause, reflect, take appropriate action. Don’t be a Grinch. Help others have a happy Christmas time.

Don’t Turn a Spiritual Problem into a Political One

December 2, 2014

My heart continues to break over the fallout of the Ferguson, MO events.

One thing that really affects me is the number of posts on Facebook from my “Christian friends” that perpetuate a meme making the situation a political one. It goes something like this, “If you are a true Conservative, then you will back the police officer. Only the nasty liberals back the black man.”

The situation is far more complex than that.

Sunday I worshipped at Willow Creek Community church. Senior Pastor Bill Hybels read a carefully composed statement about the situation. He noted that there are stories. These stories may not contain all the facts of the situation (many of which may never be known). But the stories are different for each of the actors in the drama.

He was correct. People tend to believe a story. Trouble is, there are usually many stories. Each person believes his or her own story.

It takes vast amounts of courage to step back and look at other people’s stories. See how they believe them. And then start the work of reconciliation of the various stories into a common one.

That is part of the work of the Spirit. Politics only constructs sides to an issue so that everyone can complain about the other. The Spirit draws together so that one side of the many can begin to at least see the other sides. And then see that they need not be enemies. They could be co-workers for good and growth in the community.

Those of us who want to politicize the issue should just stay out of it. If you don’t have a solution, you’re part of the problem.

For those of us far away, prayer is a powerful part of the solution.

Three Steps To Happiness

November 12, 2014

We are fascinated, even driven, to find what makes us happy. Even though we “know” (see my last post about the difference between knowing and doing) that happiness comes from the state of our heart, we keep seeking happiness outside. We fall into abusing alcohol and “friends” or even worse drugs. A mild form lies in buying things. Gee, if only I could have this new thing, then finally I’ll be happy. (Yes, for about five minutes when you need to buy the next new thing to make you happy.)

I subscribe to a Website called Big Think where the editors bring in writers to discuss big ideas. This post about happiness makes a good point.

It starts with one of Google’s first engineering employees, Chade-Meng Tan. He noticed his co-workers were often unsatisfied with life. He studied the situation and developed a three step process to happiness–sounds just like an engineer.

  • Step one is to quiet the mind through mindfulness meditation.
  • Step two is to track moments of joy.
  • Step three is to wish others happiness.

Meditation is slowing the mind and body down so that we achieve a state of relaxation. In this state especially if we have been focusing on a story or saying from Scripture, we can also allow God opportunity to whisper to us things He wants us to do or say.

We call the second step gratitude. Write down in a journal or piece of paper or an iPad daily or several times a week the things for which you’re grateful.

Tan’s third step is crucial. You now switch your attention to others. Steps one and two you do in your 15 minutes in the chair every morning. Step three is what you do for the rest of the day. You focus on how you can help other people. Even if it’s just opening a door or offering to carry part of a load.

In this way, happiness is not sought. Happiness is found. It is a fruit of the Spirit. It comes from within us–the state of our heart. A grateful heart whose attention is on service to others brings happiness and joy to its owner.

The Power of Suggestion

October 10, 2014

Do you ever notice how your attitude or focus can be altered by the power of a suggestion from someone?

Since I spend more time than the average person on an airplane, and since boarding and deplaning are stressful situations, these are great times to observe people–including my own feelings.

Yesterday I flew from Orlando to Houston. Long story, but I’m a session chair for the process control track of a conference of the American Institute of Chemical Engineers. I go home tonight.

It’s Orlando. Lots of families. It’s Thursday evening. Lots of business travelers heading home from conferences. Houston is a hub. The plane is packed. Packed plane means fighting for overhead bin space for all your carry on stuff-especially your “roll aboard” suitcase.

(I made the week-long trip with only a backpack to cut down my stress.)

The first thing I notice is courtesy. The first people to get on–do they try to cram everything they have in the overhead so that they (so they think) have more leg room?

I was among the early boarders. But there was a couple in my row. As I looked at the bin not sure that my backpack would fit under the seat, I noticed the bin was full. Two roll aboards and a couple of big bags of some kind. OK, I’ll just try to stuff it in the smaller area of the aisle seat. I look down. There is nothing under the seats of my row-mates. I find I can cram the backpack in the spot. No problem. But I notice I have become a little annoyed at the young couple beside me.

Later, guy comes in who is in the bulkhead row across the aisle from me. There is no overhead space for rows. He looks around somewhat annoyed and frazzled. He spots an opening in a bin in first class. Goes up and stuffs his backpack there. Goes back to his bulkhead row in economy plus.

Flight attendant comes back and says (as close to a direct quote as I can remember), “I hate to do this to you, but I need the overhead bins in first class for first class passengers. I see an open spot just behind you. Could you move your bag?”

Guy shrugs and complies. Then a guy in his row says, “Boy, she was really short with you.” The more he thinks about this, the more incensed he becomes. I can see the rising anger.

He stops the flight attendant. “What’s your name?” he demanded. “I’m sorry, I don’t give that out. I was stalked once by a passenger,” she replied. “What’s the matter?” “I don’t like the way you treated me and I want to report you,” he replied. She asks why, a little shocked. She’s one of those bubbly friendly type of people who probably would never consciously provoke anger in someone.

Here is the situation. High anxiety (everyone is worried about overhead bin space). I am inconvenienced. Someone says something. My annoyance escalates. I create a scene.

It is times like these when we all need to learn to take a deep breath. Gain perspective about the big picture. Shrug it off. Be glad I got on and the plane was early and my baggage survive.

Oh, yes, I did that to calm my annoyance. After all, I was settling in to read “Paul and the Faithfulness of God.” Wouldn’t have been much of a witness if I had used my power of suggestion on the couple beside me, would it!

I’m Wrong And I’m Sorry

September 22, 2014

Five words that every leader show know and use. Indeed, five words for us all to use appropriately.

“I’m wrong, and I’m sorry.”

When is the last time you heard a leader, especially a political leader or a church leader or leader of a large organization, say that publicly?

They almost always say, “I made a mistake.” And that’s it.

Sorry should always imply a repentance. An acknowledgement that I was going down the wrong path, that I see clearly that I am on the wrong path, and that I have decided to travel on the right path.

I have read in developmental psychology, but I can’t remember everything I’ve read. I do know children for whom the phrase “I’m sorry” has no meaning except maybe “Please don’t punish me.”

It is true that words can be used with no emotion behind them. So, we, the ones who have been offended, have only to wait and see if there was true repentance and change of heart, or if it was merely a use of words because the PR people said you’d better use them.

Last Friday I happened to be by a TV when the commissioner of the National Football League, or the National Felons League as a friend of mine puts it, finally had to face the public music.

Suddenly the cover over the actions of the athletes who participate in a sport made increasingly violent by people like the Commissioner was blown by one, then many, stories about domestic violence. The Commissioner initially made a pathetic statement that entirely missed the target. Then he went into hiding.

Friday, he came out to say something. He began, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” His media relations people learned the lesson of appropriate language. Now we’ll see if he has truly repented.

But how about us? How often do we use the words to get ourselves out of a jam? How often do we repent, ask God for help, and try again to get on the path of walking with Jesus? These are important questions to reflect upon daily.

Practicing Compassion

July 17, 2014

Conditions at home have reached an unbearable point. “I’ve got to get out of here,” they think. Someone says, there’s hope in America. The word spreads. Groups start the long and treacherous journey. Groups become thousands.

For the past five weeks I’ve either been traveling or deep into a research project. I get very little news in those times. But I know there’s something terrible going on at our border with Mexico.

After writing about gratitude and humility, compassion seemed to be the next logical topic.

Compassion is not feeling sorry for, it is feeling with. I have great compassion for those children seeking a better life. Every one of my American readers came from such stock–people seeking a better life by coming to America. Most of them found it. Our nation was built on that. It is somewhat unique in the world in that way.

Sometime we turn to politics to solve the problem. But most problems are not political, they are human. In politics, lines are drawn, people become things. We construct evil sounding labels for those we oppose. It’s easier to deal with people that way.

My dad would have never had a Japanese friend–not that he ever had the opportunity. There were no Japanese people within 50 miles of where he lived his life. The end of World War II found him on a ship in the Pacific. He was trained to think of Japanese people as less than human so that he could go over there and kill them.

I don’t speak German as a native because of two world wars fought against Germany. People stopped speaking German out of patriotism for America (or out of fear of being called a traitor).

My formative years intellectually came during the Civil Rights Era. I was moved by the treatment of black people–who were usually called names that made them less than human in the mind.

Let’s work to develop and practice our compassion “gene” and let it overcome our “fear” and “anger” genes. I do not know what I can do about that situation right now. But as the opportunities present themselves, I’ll jump on something. I know how easy it is to label people and write them off as less than human. It is a terrible thing.

Someone said in a situation, “Just pray.” But it’s not “just” pray. Prayer is a powerful tool of action. Pray with intention. Pray with expectation. Pray with compassion. That is one thing we can do–now.

Being Compassionate

April 3, 2014

Do you notice that there are “memes” that run through Facebook? Someone starts a thought that gets repeated by many for a day or two.

A recent meme circulated by many of my “friends” on Facebook had to do with getting rid of “deadbeats”. They don’t say what they’d do with them; but they want them gone.

I wonder if any of these sheltered people know any poor people relationally. It’s easy. In America today, millions of people are just one illness away from bankruptcy.

What gets to me more than the politics is the attitude. When I glance through the posts–many from people I know personally–the cynicism, arrogance, and lack of empathy just totally strikes at my heart. Are these people really that heartless? Or are they just parroting the “party line?”

Willow Creek Community Church just began its annual three-weekend long Compassion series called Celebration of Hope. Last Sunday, Executive Pastor and Director of Compassion and Justice, Heather Larson, spoke on compassion. This message deserves a listen.

I’m not the kind of liberal who arose especially in the late 60s who is optimistic that government can be a tool to eradicate all poverty and injustice. Neither am I the type of conservative prevalent today that seems to reflect the attitude of self-centeredness and condescension.

I would rather challenge everyone whatever their social status to have compassion toward everyone and especially those who have suffered misfortune. That is one of the things we do to live like a disciple of Jesus.