Posts Tagged ‘awareness’

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We Need To Make a Contribution

August 26, 2015

This is the moment — this is the most important moment right now. Which is: We are about contribution. That’s what our job is. It’s not about impressing people. It’s not about getting the next job. It’s about contributing something.”                                                                  — Benjamin Zander

I used to say of my parenting goals that I wanted to raise independent, healthy people who contributed to the common good of our society.

Don’t know how much it was because of me, but they both turned out that way.

My fatther was in many ways a servant. That may be the only thing I learned from him. Probably for different psychological/emotional reasons. But still I desire to serve. I want to contribute good things wherever I go.

Living in this time of a Narcissism Epidemic, the number of people who think it’s all about them rather than about contributing is astounding.

So many wish to retire and do nothing. Or maybe one little thing at church. When they have a lifetime of experience and skills that could be used to contribute to someone’s life or a worthwhile organization’s impact.

Taking a musical metaphor (with a bow to Zander), a band or orchestra is only good when each part contributes to the whole. That band or orchestra is only outstanding when every member contributes excellence.

Want to live a fulfilled life as a disciple of Jesus? Try making a contribution. Contribute to someone’s life. Contribute to an organization doing the right thing. 

Make a contribution…and live the free life.

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You Can’t Manage Change

August 6, 2015

Getting Things Done–it’s a book by David Allen and a method of organizing your thoughts, to-do lists, projects, plans. I am a GTDer.

He discusses a perennial hot topic in management circles and sometimes in personal development circles–management of change.

We are taught to “manage change.” Allen says in his recent monthly newsletter to subscribers that he always avoided that thought because he never really came to grips with it. Then he discovered his uncertainty with the concept. You can’t really manage change.

Change happens. Often you can’t anticipate it. Stuff comes at you suddenly from seemingly out of nowhere. You’re just cruising along and then something happens. The world is changing.

What we know is that we can manage albeit sometimes with great difficulty how we manage ourselves and our teams or family through the change.

This is especially important to recognize in our spiritual formation. We aren’t “unspiritual” just because change hits us. But working through change has the power to strengthen our spiritual life. There may be times when it doesn’t seem like it. But it does.

I have changed so much in my life that looking back it seems unreal. But each step was a growth. I removed myself–or got removed–from several situations that were either going nowhere or actually detrimental to my health.

Don’t get frustrated by trying to manage change. Manage yourself through the changes.

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Don’t Live in Denial

August 5, 2015

“Every day ain’t a happy day.”

Have you ever met someone who is perpetually happy? They are always smiling. Do you wonder if they ever crash?

I was listening to Harvey Carey speak at Willow Creek on podcast from the Aug. 1 gathering while taking my annual run along Lady Bird Lake (Colorado River) in downtown Austin, Texas. I’m attending a technology conference and had a long day on Monday. So no post yesterday.

He told a story about a “testamonial” service at a little Baptist church in the south. 

A woman stood up and said she would like to give her testamonial. “Ever since I accepted Jesus 35 years ago, I’ve never had a bad day. The enemy has never entered my life.”

The pastor said to the congregation, “Let’s pray for this woman.” She said, “Why?” He replied, “When you are walking with the Lord, you will face headwinds from the enemy. If you are not walking against him, then you are walking with him.”

Carey said, “Every day ain’t a happy day.”

When I meet someone who is a little “over the top”, my internal sensors go on alert. 

We will all have bad days. Stuff happens. The key isn’t that we are happy 24/7. The key really is living through the bad days in the hope of the joy that will come.

That is reality. Living otherwise is living in denial.

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Who Influences Your Mood?

July 16, 2015

Do you remember when Facebook researchers wanted to see if what you read in your “news” stream influences your mood?

They wanted to see what you posted after being exposed to either a stream of negative posts or a stream of positive posts. There was a huge uprising against their methodology–they essentially manipulated your news feed for research (not that they don’t manipulate it now).

They did find a correlation between what you were exposed to and what you posted.

Negative people can drag you down emotionally. Positive people build you up.

Both Paul and Proverbs warn us to be aware of whom we hang out with. Other people can influence us in ways we may not even realize.

Doesn’t it feel great to hang out with energetic, positive people? I was working at a coffee shop this morning and two women who exhibited those characteristics were involved in an animated conversation. I have no idea what they were discussing, but I think that they lifted my whole day. This was one of the most productive days I’ve had for a while.

This leads me to ponder two different things.

First–how do I become aware of the effect of someone? How quickly do I discern the attitude of the other? How quickly and decisively do I extract them from my life?

Second–how often am I the positive, energized person spreading light and energy to others? How often am I the doom-and-gloom person who drags people down? How quickly do I realize that in a conversation?

Perhaps a good practice would be to establish a trigger that makes us stop and consider our attitude and our words. We can modify them on the fly if we are only aware.

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I Am A Disciple-Or At Least Try To Be

July 15, 2015

Reading my Facebook stream trying to understand “Christian” would leave you puzzled. In fact, I bet that you could read your own Facebook stream of news and be puzzled.

Some whom you know to call themselves Christian seem like the most loving, gracious people. Some, on the other hand, seem to be disputatious, quarrelsome, judgmental, cynical, in other words, someone whom you would not really care to hang out with. Or—even to be labeled the same.

That has been a problem for many years.

For example, did you know that there was a preacher/politician named John Calhoun in the early 19th Century in America who wrote books “proving” that black people (the slaves at the time) were not really human beings. And he used the Bible to prove it.

Andy Stanley addresses this problem in his latest Your Move series. He points out that Jesus and his followers used a much more specific term—disciple. We know what a disciple is. The definition of Christian is open to debate. But a disciple is a follower of a teacher who tries to emulate everything about the teacher.

That is one reason I like to develop spiritual practices in my life and try to lead others to develop these practices. The correct spiritual practices help us try to become a true disciple of Jesus.

You know, Jesus, the one who told his disciples (John 13:34), “I give you a new commandment, to love one another.”

There are people who may self-identify as a “Christian” but who certainly do not appear to be living out Jesus’ last commandment.

So, I have preferred the term “follower” or the term “disciple” for most of the past 45 years. Like many, I shy away from describing myself as Christian.

Maybe if more of us followed this advice from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, we wouldn’t be so ashamed of the term:

Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this. Whether it be a brief, single encounter or the daily fellowship of years, Christian community is only this. We belong to one another only through and in Jesus Christ.

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A Mind Like Water

July 13, 2015

We read in Proverbs (14:30) “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

David Allen, author and consultant of “Getting Things Done” fame, talks about having a “mind like water.” That is actually a phrase he learned in Karate class that may come from Zen. The metaphor is of a pond of still water that absorbs the disturbance of a pebble or rock thrown in with the ripples gradually going away to nothing.

In Getting Things Done (all about personal productivity and effectiveness), this means writing down everything that you are holding in your head. Empty everything, every task, every commitment, everything you are trying to remember by writing it and putting it in a trusted space.

I’ve written before that I love Nozbe for doing this. It is a hard discipline to write things down. But when you empty your mind, you have “mind like water”–still, tranquil, waiting to handle the next disturbance.

James Altucher, a Silicon Valley investor, just wrote about productivity. He quoted Albert Einstein who once derisively stated, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk a sign of?” Altucher says, “that’s OK, Albert, I’d like an empty mind. That way I can fill it with what I choose.”

A tranquil mind means that I can concentrate on my Bible reading and other reading early in the morning.

A tranquil mind means that I can meditate with a clear focus on God far from all the distractions of clutter.

A tranquil mind means that I can come up with creative ideas for my business and my ministries.

As the wisdom teacher says, “A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh.”

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Prayer Beyond Words

July 8, 2015

 “In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.” – Mark 1:35

One thing that has impressed me almost from the first time I read the Gospels is Jesus’ discipline. He went away to pray regularly. He attended meetings at the synagogue “as was his custom”.
In this story, his closest disciples were surprised. By the end of his ministry, they understood.

In the faith versus works debate, I do not consider spiritual disciplines or spiritual practices as works. Although, they can be. It depends, of course, upon attitude.

Did you ever here the phrase while growing up, “Please assume an attitude of prayer”? In the protestant tradition that I grew up in, this meant bowing your head and closing your eyes.

The attitude of prayer is more than posture.

T.S. Eliot, the American/British poet, wrote, “And prayer is more than an order of words, the conscious occupation of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying.”

Someone asks you to pray. Your stomach tightens; your mind races. What will I say? Will I sound stupid?

Praying aloud is comforting to others, but that is merely scratching the surface of prayer.

The Renovare Spiritual Formation publication of the Bible discusses the variety of spiritual disciplines. Of prayer, it says,, “Interactive conversation with God about what we and God are thinking and doing together.”

Some of my most meaningful prayers have no words. God listens for my breath. I listen for God’s.

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Trust And Respect Are Earned

July 3, 2015

“I should be respected because of my position,” the manager told the board out of frustration. Knowledge was even spread outside the organization of the lack of respect and trust in that manager by those inside and outside the organization.

My response was, “Respect, as with trust, must be earned. One does not have it inferred because of a high ranking position.”

Indeed, years later that individual earned that respect and trust as a leader.

There is even little respect for the office of the President of the United States judging by my Facebook “news” feed. If the President cannot command respect due to his position, being even subject to lies and slander, how much respect can your committee chair demand from that position?

Do you do what you say? That is the key question leading to trust. Beyond that, do you act and decide ethically considering the situations of all stakeholders? If so, then you will earn respect. 

I write this and sound like I know what I’m saying. But…it really challenges me to look back at my leadership times–both the successful and not so successful. It’s easy for me to access my memory of former bosses, company presidents, and the like. I can remember where trust and respect broke down. The challenge is when my actions went over the top or when I was quiet when I should have spoken.

How often have I fallen short! It does no good to point to others when I am challenged. If someone loses my respect and trust, I tend to just drift away (or run as fast as possible).

Perhaps there are two tasks for us. First, we need to always be aware of the impact of our decisions and actions. Second, we could find someone drifting the wrong direction in this situation and mentor them back onto the road to trust and respect.

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Having Civil Discussions In A Church Setting

June 30, 2015

Someone says something in a church setting. Someone else gets upset. Angry even. Threatens to leave. Or, worse, starts spreading misinformation in an attempt to put the other at a disadvantage.

Or a church or non-profit organization beginning to discuss a business item. Emotions rise. Lines are drawn. Feelings are hurt. Totally lost in all the non-discussion is one of the last commands of Jesus to his followers–This is how they will know you, by your love.

I’m in the middle of reading a leadership and creativity book. More will come later. The book talks about the creativity process at Pixar studios. “In a healthy culture, all constituencies recognize the importance of balancing competing desires— they want to be heard, but they don’t have to win.”
People discussing in a healthy culture focus on the problem. Not on people. Not on theology or philosophy. The discussion is how do we fix what is broken, or how do we solve the problem. An attack on a person is quickly silenced.

Reading this book, Creativity, Inc., brought back memories of when Dave, Jane and I sat in the conference room in the 24th floor of the IBM building in Chicago discussing what a new magazine with the title, “Automation World” would be. The discussion often was loud and full of energy. The magazine developed from the discussions was born, grew, and led the industry for several years. 

Those discussions were all positive. We fed each other’s creativity.

Then we know of other types of people. They sit at the far corners of the conference room. They listen to enthusiastic people full of ideas. They like to shoot arrows at the ideas, and sometimes even at the person. From the book, “Negative feedback may be fun, but it is far less brave than endorsing something unproven and providing room for it to grow.”

I am by nature analytical. I can tell my level of engagement in the topic by my reactions. If I’m totally engaged, the N and P of the Myers-Briggs comes out, and I can bat ideas around with the rest. If I am less engaged, then the T part shows itself and I instinctively analyze and then look for holes in the argument.

I have to intentionally catch myself and change my thinking in these situations. 

In many meetings I’ve endured, my wish was for others to do the same!

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I Too Am A Sinner

June 29, 2015

Reading my Facebook “news” stream is a trip into a world of bitterness, hate, and cynicism.

Not everyone, of course, is this way. But most of the Americans are. Interestingly none of my European, Middle Eastern, or Latin American friends.

The attitude I continually perceive is “I’m right, and you’re wrong.” 

Reading in the sayings of the Desert Fathers, those early Christians (not all men, by the way) who dedicated their lives to the pursuit of living holy lives continually aware of how they fell short. The communities sprang up in the late 100s and survived until the 400s AD (or CE to the modern historians).

Their sayings should be read annually along with Proverbs to remind us of how to live.

It is said that a priest ordered a brother who sinned to leave the community. Abbot Bessarian also got up to leave, saying “I, too, am a sinner.”

When a brother praised another brother to Abbot Poeman saying he hated evil, the Abbot asked what he meant by hating sin. Confused, the brother asked for guidance. “That man hates evil who hates his own sins, and looks upon every brother as a saint and loves him as a saint.”

Someone posting such negative things will back down when called out on it. But calling people out for their hypocrisy is the job of a prophet. Prophets are usually killed. 

When we find we have this spirit of bitterness, hate, cynicism, or self-righteousness, we need to be open to the correction of the spirit who will remind us that we, too, are sinners. In a perfect world, none of us is perfect.

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