Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

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What Happens When We’ve Lost Our Savor

March 10, 2016

You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its savor (taste)…it is no longer good for anything. — Matthew 5

I’m reading yet another book on nutrition. Someday, maybe, I’ll stop reading and start eating properly.

Anyway, this author talked about telling everyone in Chapter 2 what the book was about. He’d just read a book where the author said at the end what the “word of the book” was.

I thought, the word of this book is “energy.” This author exhibits a deep energy and optimistic outlook on life. In fact, he’s the type of person who would drive an introvert crazy.

What if he lost that energy? He’d be dead, even while still breathing.

Jesus was addressing that problem. Maybe you’ve heard it said of someone, “The light’s on, but no one is home.”

Maybe you know an organization like that. I’ve seen it in business, civic organizations, churches. The lights are on, but no one’s home.

Had a conversation this morning about a couple of churches. I said, the Spirit’s not moving. My friend said, “The spirit is always here.” “But,” I retorted, “sometimes is just seems like the spirit is not moving, not alive in the people.”

There are people still there. But they just go out of habit or tradition. Or just too lazy to seek out anything different. Or comfortable and don’t want to be moved.

They’ve lost their savor.

People who have lost their savor are no fun to be around. Too many, and an entire organization may go into decline.

How do we keep from losing our savor?

We do it by developing certain habits. The number one best habit is to decide to spend at least 15 minutes in your favorite chair, preferably early in the morning, reading either the Bible or other spiritual guide (Henri Nouwen, Oswald Chambers, for example). That starts the day off well.

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Conquering Fear

March 8, 2016

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you’re always afraid

You step out of line, the man come and take you away–

Buffalo Springfield

Why is it that every time there is an encounter with God or a messenger of God, the first words are, “Don’t be afraid”?

I wrote yesterday about conquering emotions. We really need to recognize them and come to grips with them. Psychologists will tell us not to bury them acting as if they don’t exist. If you do, then you will be visited with even worse conditions.

Many writers and analysts believe that the emotion of our time is anger. Therefore the attraction of Trump and Sanders. Each is playing to very real emotions of “common people” who believe that the political establishments have let them down. It’s hard to believe the numbers about the economy growing when we aren’t making as much money and the world is exploding  worse than the 60s.

This is not to discuss politics. I studied that in graduate school–and left it behind to go into engineering, computers, and manufacturing. Something more understandable!

But the mood of the times is important. It’s important to know how many of the people around us feel. It’s important to know how we feel inside. It’s important to recognize and then deal constructively.

Fear leads to anger? “It starts when you’re always afraid.” The writers of the song nailed it.

How do we cope?

There are many ways, of course, but let’s turn to Jesus, who as a teacher leading us into living a better life now as well as in the future, always caught just the right edge.

Try Luke chapter 12.

“I tell you my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.”

“Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food….”

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for you Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.”

Meditate on those. For where we fix our minds, so shall our thoughts and emotions follow. We have the power to choose.

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Practice? I don’t need no stinkin practice

March 2, 2016

Daddy wrote to me, “Can’t you just send a badge (to referee)? She knows the rules better than anyone. She’s just too busy to come to a class.”

She took one class at 15 years old. I’ll guarantee you that she’d be lucky to get an 80 on a closed book exam of the Laws of the Game. (We don’t have “rules” in FIFA based soccer; we have laws. Except of course for the ex-president of FIFA who thought that both rules and laws were for other people.)

I’ve been the point person for referees in western Ohio for almost 30 years. I hear this several times every year. Worse, I’ll get 50 emails a year from parents–at least. I trust the kid to go out and referee a match, yet he/she cannot communicate with me. Daddy or Mommy must do it.

How am I supposed to help the kids grow up when they have parents like that?

I have one referee who is almost 20 (actually, I have four come to think of it) who still have difficulty with responsibility and commitment after having “helicopter” parents.

Talking with a piano teacher today. She says kids will drop the class (parent calls, of course)  for the slightest whim. Five minutes before class. The teacher is paid by the class. Now she has an unpaid void in the calendar.

Practices help us compete better, perform better, learn better.

Spiritual practices, done in the proper attitude, bring us closer to God. It’s no different than soccer or piano. We must discipline ourselves to stay with it. To learn the basics and then the advanced.

There is no shortcut to life in the Spirit. We must be open while we practice and learn to live every day.

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Relationships-With Yourself Too

March 1, 2016

Sometimes I’m a slow learner.

Lately I’ve been contemplating relationships among genders and among diverse cultural groups. I knew the last one wouldn’t get as many “likes.” It’s difficult for many people to comprehend.

I guess the reason I don’t share many of the attitudes of my western Ohio peer group is that I didn’t have a close peer group growing up. Pretty much  a loner, although not be (my) choice. But then also, I’ve traveled extensively and learned to work with people from all over the world. You should develop a sensitivity to other people doing that. I know some retain their prejudices. But I really didn’t.

When I pray, I pray for lots of people. Today I was praying for a family where one member faced a difficult surgery. That was special. There are many more.

One day not too long ago I suddenly realized that I could pray for myself. It would be OK. In fact, I think God likes that. Kind of like the guy in the Temple that Jesus talked about who looked down at the ground and asked God to have mercy–on himself.

It really never occurred to me to pray for myself. I’m always living in the world of ideas or thinking about other people.

It isn’t narcissistic to think of yourself. Just don’t dwell on it. Or forget about other people. Or put Jesus first.

Guess what? I felt better. Actually almost somewhat relieved. So many people have so much worse issue than I. It seems trivial. But then, it is me who has to live with me. And if I don’t take care of that, then I can make life miserable for people around me.

While praying for your list, it’s OK to stop and say, God, I’ve got this little problem that I’d like for you to fix or show me the way. It’s a good thing.

Good relationships with others begin with a good relationship with ourselves.

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Can We Work Hard Enough To Earn Salvation?

February 23, 2016

I have a friend who is greatly concerned with faith versus works.

Jesus constantly picked on those Pharisees who placed priority on following the letter of the law. It’s really a matter of attitude. The Law essentially takes the place of God. In their view, they could only approach God by perfectly following the Law.

And they tried. They tried hard. It was a stress. It was also a source of pride. When it’s all about you and what you do, then you can point fingers and compare. You can say, “I’m better than you.”

That doesn’t sound very spiritual, does it?

Jesus picked on those people.

Paul addresses this in his letter to the Romans. He takes a long way to the argument that there is no way we can possibly follow the laws so perfectly that we can be made right with God.

It is only through grace freely given by God alone that we can be made right with him.

So, there are the Spiritual Disciplines or Spiritual Practices.

My friend worries at times that I am falling into the works side of grace / works. Certainly one could look at the Disciplines as works. If I pray every day, worship at every opportunity, serve when I can, study daily, and so on, then I am right with God.

Wrong.

A study of 17,000 Christians who had drifted away from church and faith and then returned was quite revealing. Overwhelmingly they said that what brought them back were spiritual practices–mostly reading the Bible daily.

Dallas Willard says, “The disciplines are activities of mind and body purposefully undertaken to bring our personality and total being into effective cooperation with the divine order.”

A key word–purposefully. Another word is intentional. We are intentional that we’ll practice certain spiritual disciplines in order that we will be brought closer to God. The goal is not the practices. They merely are used intentionally to draw us close to God.

Intention and attitude determine if we are mired in works or actively participating in grace.

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The Power of Changing Our Minds

February 22, 2016

I was so smart. I knew the best distribution model for an electronics product  we had developed in the late 80s. It didn’t work.

Great leaders don’t always know everything and pursue the course originally set with no deviation until the end. Al Pittampalli, a management consultant, witnessed so many leaders delaying decisions through endless meetings that he concluded what was needed from leaders was single-minded consistency and pursuit of a way forward.

Then he discovered he was wrong. The best leaders today obtain constant feedback by whatever means it takes to get it. They honestly weigh the feedback, painful though it may be, and are prepared to change course if necessary to achieve the desired outcome.

His work is documented in Persuadable: How Great Leaders Change Their Minds to Change the World.

The small group is reading through the book of Acts of the Apostles. Reflect on the number of times Paul says he wants to do one thing or visit another city and then he changes his mind and goes elsewhere. New facts enter the picture, he considers them, prays about them, and is not too proud to change course and go another direction.

Pittampalli writes about a therapist who was working with an overweight, depressed teenage girl. He asked her to fill out a simple evaluation each session so he could get some feedback. The evaluations were always overwhelmingly positive, yet by the third session he could tell that they were making no progress.

He noticed that the score for “helping me achieve my goals”, although 86 out of 100, was much lower than every other score. He asked specifically about that. She said that he had ignored her goal of becoming a Miami Heat cheerleader.

Ah, breakthrough. He went back and started acknowledging her goal. No, she didn’t become a Miami Heat cheerleader. She did organize cheerleading and fund raising for the basketball team at the agency that sent her to counseling, though. A clear win for the girl.

As for me, that company went out of business before I could get enough feedback to change–even if I had wanted to. But I think I’d have gone with the flow if another avenue had opened. But we needed immediate sales. The computer board was already almost a year old when they hired me. I had about six months before the technology would need updating.

My boss didn’t understand the dynamics of the computer business almost 30 years ago. You needed updated products every six months to a year. Kind of like today. My iPhone 5s was getting pretty obsolete after 18 months. Now I have a new iPhone 6s 😉

The key to leadership, and probably to achieving your personal goals, is soliciting–yes, even demanding–feedback. And then making adjustments based on it.

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Why You Do The Things You Do

February 11, 2016

“You’re doing it for all the right reasons,” he said to me.

That remark made me pause. I’m still thinking about it.

When I take on a leadership role, what is my inner motivation?

Do I have a need to feel important?

Do I have to be the boss?

Am I just contributing from my set of skills?

Especially in my church work, but also in my profession, does the work bring me closer to God? Or does it bring me closer to my narcissistic self?

Do I lack the ability to say no?

Do I just have a passion for that work?

In my professional leadership role, I work with other visionaries who are sincerely trying to move the industry forward with no other self interest. None will become exceedingly wealthy. But we care about the advancement of manufacturing and production. There is no room for an overly large ego.

In my church role, I can look inside and say that I really care about the spiritual development of other people. If I can get them involved, it could be life changing. It’s a missions role. Going outside the walls of the church building and helping others, even if it’s just through painting, building walls, constructing a wheelchair ramp so a person can more easily get inside their homes, these all have a deeper meaning.

When you focus on others and work in tandem with God, you actually succeed no matter the results or your personal gain.

Your motivation determines your reward.

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Living In A Land of Paradox

February 3, 2016

The American Deep South is a fascinating place. Known as the “Bible Belt” for the prevalence of fundamentalist Evangelicals, it also has a violent history from the mid-20th Century and the Civil Rights movement.

I went to grad school at Louisiana State receiving an introduction to the South.

We drove to Florida last week. I noticed once again that Georgia is the land of billboards. That state may have more billboards per mile of Interstate highway than any other. If you take away the billboards advertising restaurants and hotels, you are left with two types of advertising.

Porn shops / strippers and Bible quotes.

Not that we don’t have porn shops in Ohio. I used to work out of a building beside one. But there just isn’t that amount of advertising. It’s as if we’re still a little ashamed to be appealing to the base lusts of men. (And sex trafficking is rampant in Ohio along with all the states. People just aren’t aware of it.)

Bible verses are good, of course. The thing I notice is that they seem to scream at you accusingly. Of course, all of us need to be accused for our thoughts and deeds that are not in keeping with the faith.

It’s just the paradox that gets me.

Do those Bible verses do any good?

What does it take to change someone’s direction? They were going off the exit toward a porn shop and suddenly decided to stop at the church next door. Why?

When you meet someone and the subject gets personal, can you get away with just quoting a Bible verse?

Probably not. It takes a deeper, longer conversation. Perhaps over a cup (or pot) of coffee. It takes time. Listening. Then you could pull out a passage and show how it applies directly to life.

You gotta show you care. A quick verse or an accusation won’t do anyone any good.

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Leaders-Be Real

January 29, 2016

I talked a couple of days ago about how people want their conversations about Jesus to be real. Especially younger adults want their Christian leaders to be real. They don’t want hype. Or leaders who say one thing and then do another.

Taking this discussion into a more general leadership area, people whom you are trying to lead value your being real to them.

A friend told a story about an old-line manufacturing company. It was highly structured as those companies tended to be. Built by engineers who think hierarchically and structured, the company featured separation of people according to rank. For example, there was an executive dining room, a supervisors dining room, and an employee cafeteria.

A man bought the company. He abolished the tiered dining areas. Everyone ate in the same area. The new owner would walk through at lunch time and chat with anyone. He broke the barrier.

People responded. Treat people with respect, show your real side, and they will follow your lead.

Searching the scriptures for an example, my attention suddenly focused on Paul, the apostle. This guy was a fantastic leader. We don’t usually talk about that. He’s known as an evangelist (persuasive speaker), theologian, and writer.

But he founded or shepherded several churches. His letters to Timothy offer great leadership advice.

Think about his communication to the churches that he had relationships with. He had not seen some people for years. He wrote to them. He laid it all out. He wrote about his passions, his background, his troubles, his physical ailments. He was a real person. He wasn’t a preacher who hid behind an office and administrative assistant. He didn’t get up, preach with emotion, and then go live life a different way.

With Paul, what you saw was what he was. It worked. People responded. They will for you. Try transparency, build trust, show yourself as a person.

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Leadership Through Mentoring

January 22, 2016

We think of a leader as someone who has many people reporting to them. Maybe 10 or maybe hundreds. We picture them out front of the infantry leading the charge.

Surprisingly, often a leader is someone without an official position, yet they exert influence and direction through their ideas, conversations, persistence, relationships, and character.

But we are still thinking about influencing many.

Great leaders often are also great mentors. They find someone coming along with potential and begin to nurture them. Think perhaps of Mr. Miyagi in the “Karate Kid.”

Think back in your life. People came into my life, often briefly, who guided me often without my even knowing it at the time. There was my first supervisor at Airstream, John, who put me in positions to learn. Then Jack came along. He did things for me to get me promoted into increasingly important roles, but I never realized it at the time. Awakening came later, but not too late.

Lately there has been someone where we share from our varied experiences.

When you mentor someone, it should be intentional on your part. But with full knowledge that you are not a teacher just taking knowledge from your brain and trying to enlighten the mentee. Rather, mentorship grows with a relationship. As you work together or have conversations, often it’s just a question you ask or a point you think that they should think about that works. You have to let them grow at their pace. Force does not work.

The quality of character counts for much. Paul, the apostle, described both in 1 Timothy and in Titus a good leader.

  • Not violent
  • Blameless
  • Not accused of debauchery
  • Not rebellious
  • Not arrogant
  • Not quick-tempered
  • Not greedy for gain
  • A firm grasp on the Word
  • Trustworthy

I get a picture of a strong, yet gentle, person. Quiet in demeanor. Observant of others. Passionate with being overly emotional. Intelligent and wise. Concerned for the welfare of the other before even his own.

Gosh, I’m describing myself—-I wish. Perhaps I’m describing you. If so and you do not have a younger person you’re mentoring, find one. Pray intentionally. God will provide someone.

 

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