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Lure of Lifestyle or Spiritual Discipline of Simplicity

February 4, 2015

One thing about living most of my life in the same small city, I have seen many people grow from stage to stage in life. I remember when a bunch of guys were in their 30s and 40s. They were posturing for importance. Living an upscale and hard-driving lifestyle. Now they are 60s and 70s. They, for the most part, have come to see what’s really important in life—relationships, service, being comfortable in who they are.

Lure of Lifestyle

My friend Jim Pinto, who has turned his attention from automation (since he doesn’t write for me anymore) to thoughts on how to live, reminds us to focus on what’s important. In Lure of Lifestyle, he says, “Now, I don’t feel particularly miserly, but I really don’t understand the rationale of the luxury lifestyle. In fact, I remember the remark of a guy who ignored the champagne at a fancy reception and asked for a beer. “Hey!” he said, “I’m rich enough to drink what I want, not what looks good.”

These days, when I see somebody posturing beyond their means, I remember a Texas cattleman’s wisecrack: “Big hat, no cattle!” This was the name of a song by Randy Newman.”

Fits a Career

I think this fits a career, too. Most of the time I’ve been in leadership (I wish I had been this good all the time), the important question became, “How can I help you?” After defining roles and hiring the best people (I’ve missed a few times, much to my downfall—one guy turned out to be quite the political manipulator), that is the best approach to management.

Spiritual discipline

One of the basic twelve spiritual disciplines outlined by Richard Foster in “Celebration of Discipline” is simplicity or the simple lifestyle.

While there are many products that improve our lives, we can easily acquire a huge pile of junk. Stuff we use for a few days and then gather dust. Stuff that’s cheaply made and don’t last but somehow stays around.

We’ve got to have the huge pickup truck, not to haul things but solely to impress people. Or the Aspen vacation that we can’t afford but that will impress everyone back home.

Practicing the simplicity discipline, we buy what we need. We invest in experiences, not in things to impress. We focus on what’s important in life—not on what we think will impress people who are usually too busy trying to impress other people to notice you’re trying to impress them.

Tags:attention, attitude, Discipline, lifestyle
Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

God Works Through Us

January 22, 2015

While I’m studying Paul through the scholarship of N.T. Wright, there was a thought so powerful that I stopped reading. Made a note. Then just paused and contemplated for a while.

Paul thought that God worked through us. God revealed his glory through Jesus. Jesus expected his work after his ascension to be done through us.

Hit pause. Hit rewind. Hit play.

What does that mean?

It surely sounds like an awesome responsibility, doesn’t it,

What have we done with our time? I have a lot of time to look back on. Some of you more. What use have we made of that time to do God’s work?

I was just listening to Andy Stanly talk about making a wise use of our time. Our time “keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future.” (Steve Miller Band)

Our pastor is in the middle of a series on setting goals. Goals are OK. But really, what counts is our schedule. What do we do with that time?

Better than a goal of “I’ll invite 100 people to church this week,” would be, “I’ll set aside 30 minutes, and write it in ink on my calendar, three days a week to call people to invite into a relationship.” The key–write it, in ink.

Try getting out a calendar–paper, digital, whatever. Get the one-week view. Block out what you do each day in the week.

5:30, arise, fix coffee, get out my Bible
5:45-6:00, read Bible
6:00-6:15, pray, meditate
7:00-8:00, exercise/workout/run whatever
then, work, phone calls, planning, time with family

Take a look at where your week goes now. Then plan with intention to structure a week where you attend to your spiritual health, your physical health, your relationships, your God work, your community service.

Grab control of your time. Don’t let it slip away.

Tags:attention, intention, service, time
Posted in Attention, Disciplines, Service | Leave a Comment »

New Year Practice To Simplify

January 16, 2015

Daniel, the one who has a book in the Bible named for his story, found himself as a young man in the palace of the most powerful king of the time. He was surrounded by luxury, wealth, rich food.

He and his friends asked to be spared from the rich food and be allowed to eat simple, yet nutritious meals of fruits and vegetables. Their health proved their wisdom.

Later (Chapter 5), he is offered wealth and position for interpreting some mysterious writing on a wall. He told them to keep the rewards, but he would interpret the writing.

I do not advocate New Year’s Resolutions or goals. For several years, I’d write out a list of goals every year–I’d weigh x amount, I’d write a book (or something), etc. It never really worked.

What worked was seeing myself in the future–how I looked, what I had accomplished, what my ministry would be, and so on. Then, I planned my days to build habits to work toward those visions.

One habit is to look around your life and your surroundings at least once per year and see what you’ve accumulated that you don’t need. If, unlike Daniel’s example, we didn’t turn down things before we got them, then it is timely to get rid of things in order to simplify our life.

I’ve done this for years. Get rid of “stuff” laying around that has no use. Get rid of toxic relationships. Get rid of things that grab my time so that I can focus on doing the things I want.

Too much “stuff” is a burden; it is an obstacle to living a life focused on God.

Tags:attention, Discipline, focus, simplicity
Posted in Disciplines | 1 Comment »

Practice Active Listening

January 12, 2015

We are in a series of practices to start off your 2015 and deepen your spiritual and relational experiences.

Today, let’s consider listening.

“When you listen, listen completely. Most people don’t listen,” said Mark Twain.

“You can hear a lot just by listening,” Yogi Berra added.

When you are in a conversation, what are you doing?

Most people are thinking about what they are going to say when there is a pause. Or they are talking over the other person. Arguing, even.

When you are at a conference or in church listening to the message, what are you thinking? Dozing off?

We need to engage with the speaker. The practice is active listening. The first thing is where you’re looking. Focus your eyes on the speaker. What is the posture, eye contact (or lack), gesture? Communication is a “full-contact” sport.

In a personal conversation, focus on an eye. If there is much ambient noise, I alternate focus on eyes and mouth so that I can “see” the words coming, too. I’m listening to the person with all my senses.

Rather than trying to come up with a better story, try to think of questions to draw out more information and engagement.

In a large setting, take notes. You may never refer to the notes again. The very act of note taking, though, keeps you alert and focusing on the speaker.

For 2015, let’s develop our active listening skill.

Tags:attention, attitude, Listen, listening, Relationship
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Being Mindful As A Discipline

January 7, 2015

Being mindful is to focus on what you are doing. Awareness of where you are, who you are, what you are.

The dominant (not the only) cause of obesity and being overweight is simply eating too much. We eat too much because we simply start shoving food into our mouth without paying any attention.

When you eat, focus on your eating. The sights, sounds, smells, tastes. Slow down and eat with mindfulness.

When I cut myself while shaving, it is almost always because my mind has drifted and I am no longer mindful of what I am doing with that sharp instrument in my hand.

Nehemiah prays (chapter 9) about his people saying they have not been mindful of God for a long time.

Do we wake up in the morning and set our mind first thing on God and the mindfulness that we are part of God’s people? Doing so will start our day off in a good way.

The best way to return to mindfulness is simply to pause. It is in the pause that true life returns. We can then return to our work refreshed. The pause before saying something hurtful can turn our words into words of encouragement rather than destruction.

When we work, work. Focus on the task at hand. Don’t be like Martha of whom Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are distracted by many things.”

Mindfulness also is a key to listening. Being mindful of the other person–focusing on them and not us–will help us grow and love more.

Mindfulness is a foundation to putting disciplines into practice.

Tags:attention, disciplines, focus, mindfulness
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Pause to Find Self-Awareness

December 19, 2014

Everywhere are conversations among people this week, “Are you ready for Christmas? I have so much to do. Not enough time to do it.”

We hurry from work to shopping to wrapping to parties to work. It’s all a big blur.

We don’t have time to “feel the Christmas spirit” because we don’t have time to notice.

Gene Appel, senior pastor of the Eastside Christian Church in Orange County, California, drew a lesson from one of Jesus’ stories to (and about) his local Pharisees in a message a few weeks ago.

It seems that a man had two sons. One tapped into the old man for a chunk of money and took off for the good life. One day after the money was gone, the friends were gone, the women were gone and he woke up in a pigpen, he “came to his senses.” He became what is one of the hardest things for us to do—to become self-aware.

When did he become self-aware? When he stopped. There was no more hurry. No more drinking, no more women, no more friends, no more hurrying from one party to the next. He stopped. And then he came to his senses.

Perhaps it is time we stop. Just pause and take a deep breath. Inhale until the lungs fill; then keep going until the stomach is “filled”; then keep going until the abdomen grows. Then slowly release the breath. Two or three of those should slow us down until we can become aware of our circumstances, our emotions, our environment.

Stop. Look around. Place your thoughts on Jesus. Rejoice in the celebration.

Tags:advent, attention, emotions, Faith, focus, Listen, seeking
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Listen For Healing

December 18, 2014

Trait of listening to people for healing; listening to God in preparation.

This comment just popped up in some notes I was reviewing. I have no idea where it came from. No idea what the context was. But, it’s interesting, isn’t it?

We’re in Advent, so preparation is on my mind. Much had to be prepared for Jesus arrival. Before conception, Mary had to be prepared. She had to listen to God’s messenger and pay attention.

After conception, Joseph had to be prepared. He, also, had to listen to a messenger of God.

This was listening in preparation. They each had to listen and then act.

But in the story, Zechariah and Elizabeth also had to listen and act. They were important, too. And their son, John, had also to listen (to his parents we presume) and then act.

Our challenge this week is to also listen. What words or thoughts are God whispering into our consciousness?

Then I thought about the healing part.

Who listens? Who talks?

Perhaps we need someone to listen to us. This is a time of year of great stress. There are all the holidays–gifts, parties, family. Also winter is coming on (here in the Northern Hemisphere). That stresses many.

Who do we have that will listen to us? Who will give a comforting word?

Or turn it around. Who needs us to listen to them? Do we realize just how much healing we can do by listening? That would be active listening, paying attention to the words, the feelings, the thoughts between the words. Understanding. Empathizing. Comforting. Praying.

Listening. Preparation. Healing. Comforting. Valuable Spiritual Disciplines.

Tags:advent, attention, attitude, disciplines, emotions, Listen, listening, Prayer
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Take Time To Be Grateful

November 21, 2014

This week I had a birthday while I was away at a conference. Some people knew and said something. I just said, well it’s just another day where I am thankful to be up and breathing.

Then I thought, well that is something to be grateful for. Maybe I should just pause right there and say a little prayer of gratitude for being alive, mobile, and alert.

Being grateful begins with that attention and reflection. Something good happened. I paused to recognize it and place my attention there–even if only for a few minutes. Then I reflect upon the thing for which I’m grateful.

I have a “to-do list” manager. Permanently on the task list is the note–practice being grateful. Every day when I scan my list of things to do, there it is. It forces me to stop in the midst of my hurry and think of something for which I’m grateful.

Sometimes it’s just for social interaction. Sometimes I wonder if I was born with some level of autism or Aspergers or something. I was pretty socially isolated as a youth and young adult. Studies show that being socially isolated is not good for your health.

Through business I know literally thousands of people (there are more than 6,000 people in my contact database, more than 1,000–I think–on LinkedIn. We’re not “friends” in a close way, but when I see them at conferences, it’s a good interaction. This week I saw more than 100 people I knew and could talk with for a while. It is energizing. I’m grateful to know so many interesting people.

If you have trouble with pausing from focusing on what you want or your cares and worries, maybe a permanent line item on your to-do list is the prescription. It reminds you several times a day to pause and think of something good.

Tags:attention, attitude, gratitude
Posted in Attention, Gratitude | 1 Comment »

Three Steps To Happiness

November 12, 2014

We are fascinated, even driven, to find what makes us happy. Even though we “know” (see my last post about the difference between knowing and doing) that happiness comes from the state of our heart, we keep seeking happiness outside. We fall into abusing alcohol and “friends” or even worse drugs. A mild form lies in buying things. Gee, if only I could have this new thing, then finally I’ll be happy. (Yes, for about five minutes when you need to buy the next new thing to make you happy.)

I subscribe to a Website called Big Think where the editors bring in writers to discuss big ideas. This post about happiness makes a good point.

It starts with one of Google’s first engineering employees, Chade-Meng Tan. He noticed his co-workers were often unsatisfied with life. He studied the situation and developed a three step process to happiness–sounds just like an engineer.

Step one is to quiet the mind through mindfulness meditation.
Step two is to track moments of joy.
Step three is to wish others happiness.

Meditation is slowing the mind and body down so that we achieve a state of relaxation. In this state especially if we have been focusing on a story or saying from Scripture, we can also allow God opportunity to whisper to us things He wants us to do or say.

We call the second step gratitude. Write down in a journal or piece of paper or an iPad daily or several times a week the things for which you’re grateful.

Tan’s third step is crucial. You now switch your attention to others. Steps one and two you do in your 15 minutes in the chair every morning. Step three is what you do for the rest of the day. You focus on how you can help other people. Even if it’s just opening a door or offering to carry part of a load.

In this way, happiness is not sought. Happiness is found. It is a fruit of the Spirit. It comes from within us–the state of our heart. A grateful heart whose attention is on service to others brings happiness and joy to its owner.

Tags:actions, attention, awareness, compassion, heart, service
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Healing Starting From The Heart

November 7, 2014

Wife got a new bread knife. It is sharp. Cuts bread, even thick crusts, as if it were warm butter. Cuts thumbs, too. Twice. I’m a slow learner. The last one was pretty deep.

I notice the healing is from the inside out. It also takes quite some time to heal.

Sort of like us spiritually. We need to heal from emotional and spiritual hurts also from the inside out. That is why Jesus was so concerned with the state of our hearts.

Jesus expressed to the Pharisees that it is not the food that defiles but what comes out from the heart. He also said that when we forgive, we need forgiveness from our heart. We should also love the Lord our God with all our heart. He condemned “hardness of heart.” On the road to Emmaus, the disciples hearts were burning. And “As the scripture has said, ‘Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.’ ”

Just as we need to eat right, exercise, reduce stress to take care of our physical heart and improve healing, so we also need to feed our minds, exercise in prayer and meditation, and focus on God to set our spiritual heart right and heal our souls from the inside out.

Tags:attention, belief, healing, heart
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