Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

In Him You Live

November 21, 2011

As Paul addressed the Athenians, he quoted a Greek poet, “In Him we live and move and have our being.” This was part of his talk proving God and Jesus to a different audience than his usual one. So he started with God as the “unknown” god to whom the Athenians had erected a statue just to make sure they didn’t forget anyone.  Then God as the creator. Then humans as creation whose life purpose is to search for God.

So, upon finding God, what do we do? Well, we “live, move and have our being” in God. I think if you are going to contemplate upon any teaching this week, this is as good as any you will come up with. Think about what it means to live in God. Or–maybe like I’m doing right now–think of the times last week when I wasn’t living in God. I let my own problems and emotions come out rather than stopping, reflecting and letting my being rest in God. I’d act much differently.

Or–for as much as I know and as much as I practice, you’d think I’d be a much better person.

Speaking of practice, among the talks I listened to on my 8-hour flight to Germany yesterday was one by John Ortberg. He pointed out that we don’t need willpower to break a bad habit. We need a new habit. He’s right. Willp0wer will get you nowhere. You can develop a new habit, though, by deciding to do one thing and then do it for 30 days. By the end of 30 days, it should be a habit. In other words, you can choose your habits. If you are not living in God as well as you’d like to, then choose a habit to inculcate–perhaps reading the Bible for 15 minutes every morning, or praying three times a day methodically, or meditating 15 minutes every morning–and then do it. Your life will be changed.

Develop a Caring Church

September 14, 2011

Recently I was in a meeting where one person shared a burden on her heart. She wondered how we could know if someone was hurting, seeking, wondering, joyful and needed to share.

Programming church people immediately want to develop a program. Let’s have a mentor program where everyone is assigned someone to look after! Oops, who does the assigning? How do they know whom to put together? Is there accountability? What if there’s the wrong match and it lights a fuse? Or we have a formal program of another sort to bring people together.

But in Acts 2:42 and following it is recorded: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common… Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.”

Dallas Willard in “The Spirit of the Disciplines” says that early church members really did organize their lives differently from their neighbors. And the neighbors noticed.

What if—-what if we could develop not a program but an environment where we devoted ourselves to teaching, to prayer, to sharing together, to caring for one another? Wouldn’t that attract people? Wouldn’t that be the kind of place where people ask “how’s it going?” and really mean it. And get an honest response? And start a healing dialog?

Wow. I wish.

Who’s Your Father

August 11, 2011

I’ve been thinking about Jesus and the Father for weeks. I’m reading John’s gospel (again) remembering why it’s my favorite. There’s a theme that most commentators on the text don’t emphasize as a theme–the Father.

Jesus makes a big deal (or at least John really emphasizes the fact) of his Father (not Joseph, but God). He comes from the Father. The Father is in him. He is in the Father. He and the Father are one. What does this mean?

People obviously had trouble figuring it out. He was talking to a group of Jews (probably Pharisees) when he told them that his words were truth and truth would set them free. They said they were Abraham’s children and had never been slaves. Aside from the fact that their knowledge of history was a little bit lacking, they were talking about biological genealogy.

Jesus turned the question into a spiritual issue. If they were really Abraham’s children, they would follow Jesus. Then he tells them that their real father is the evil one (whom we call Satan these days). But his father is God.

Later, as he is giving his last instructions to his inner circle, he says that he is about to go to the Father. Not understanding, Philip asks where the father is and can they go, too. Jesus says, not that kind of father and he’ll discover eventually.

These episodes point out what I’ve been trying to teach for 30 years or so. You really need to read the Bible with spiritual eyes. That’s what Jesus taught. We all have biological fathers. We may also have adopted fathers. This refers to physical family. You don’t have a choice in the matter–especially the biological one.

But Jesus taught and showed that there is a Father whom you can choose. A spiritual Father. And not a remote god who is not approachable except under special circumstances by special people. This Father is revealed in relationship. You live with Him. He lives within you. He’ll guide you if you listen. He’ll listen if you talk. He’ll help you put your spiritual life together. This leads to putting your emotional life together. And your physical life.

And it’s simple. You get to choose. You begin by just deciding you want to live with the Father. Then you practice ways of developing your relationship.

Christianity as a Culture

July 29, 2011

Once again someone has gone off into a world of his own and murdered people in the name of his religion. In this case, the religion is Christianity. The murdered people were suspected of nurturing a rival religion–Islam. This was in Norway–a country that usually makes news only in relation to oil or fjords.

Jon Swanson has an interesting analysis in his blog 300 Words a Day. He looks at Christian evangelicalism and Christian fundamentalism. But he took the time to read some of the murderer’s manifesto. The point is that the killer looked at Christianity as a culture. Belief doesn’t matter. It’s about the culture.

It’s easy for us–especially those of us who grew up in small town Midwest USA where everyone was the same–to slip into Christianity as a culture, a practice. Small town people the world over are suspicious of outsiders. We’re suspicious of people who act differently, speak differently, dress differently, believe differently. If we brood on those differences, our hearts can grow hard (compare to the soil parable).

I’m developing a short course to introduce people into the practice of spiritual disciplines. Perhaps the hardest thing will be to get them to realize that this isn’t an intellectual exercise. Also it’s not a forced habit. Spiritual disciplines are practices that you cultivate that will bring you into a closer, deeper relationship with God.

It’s not culture, but it is how you live your life. How cool it would be if we lived like those Christians in Acts who lived so differently that people were attracted to “The Way”–as Christianity was called in those days.

Check out Jon’s thoughts. Ponder the question, “Am I living in a culture, or am I living in a close relationship with God?”

Is It All About Me

July 15, 2011

On my drive to Chicago yesterday, I passed a car with this bumper sticker:

“I only have time enough today to think about one person. And I choose…me!”

They probably bought that and put it on their vehicle because it seemed to be cute. But what you think is cute reveals much about your thinking–whether you intend it or not.

Let’s think about that phrase. First, how many people do you know of whom you can say, “It’s all about her (him)”? Can you say that about yourself? How often do you think about your own wants, needs, desires, cravings?

There are times in your life where “stuff” happens, and you need to devote a lot of thought to your situation. But is that your normal thought pattern? Maybe I should step back a little and ask, do you ever think about what’s on your mind? It’s a growth exercise.

Let’s take another look–at your heart. Really? Is your heart so small that you can only think about yourself? If you know someone whose heart is that small, would you want a relationship with him (her)?

Who are some of the people you know whom you would most like to emulate? Aren’t they people whose heart is so large that they can love and care about many people while not neglecting themselves?

I’m positive that in my life I would be much wealthier if I thought more about myself than the task or job or others. And I am far from perfect in this regard. It’s always a challenge for me to remember others when I pray or in my thoughts.

Several months ago I was invited to an intimate dinner whose guest of honor was a published MIT professor. During the conversation, he was asked about today’s students. He recommended a book (which I finally got around to buying) “The Narcissism Epidemic.”

You remember Narcissus. He’s the guy who of ancient Greek myth (those marvelous psychologists), who saw his reflection in a pond and fell in love with himself. Look around. What do you see? Is there a way we can open up all those hearts to encompass others and avoid the tragic fate of Narcissus? I hope so.

Jesus and Controversy Still Go Together

June 30, 2011

One of the Spiritual Disciplines is study. After I learned how to study (unfortunately that was during my third year of college), it  has come naturally for me. I’m sure for others it’s difficult. Maybe like work. When I teach the Bible, I encourage people to try to come with fresh eyes. Sure you have heard the stories. You’ve memorized passages. How can you read with fresh eyes?

For example, I’m reading the Gospel of John–again. It’s my favorite book. But reading it, I’ve found emphases that I don’t remember. John really emphasized the controversy that surrounded Jesus. He keeps saying that the Jews are divided about him. Is he the Messiah? Is he a prophet? Is he a troublemaker?

What strikes me the most is how controversial Jesus remains. And that’s even among Christians.

I’ve often taken as my guide the passage from Hebrews where Jesus is referred to as the pioneer of our faith. I like that. I can understand it. He was first to exhibit the new way of forming a relationship with God and taught it. There were people in the faith tradition who had a relationship with God. But they did something significant and the deeds were recorded. Jesus taught us that we all should cultivate and deepen that relationship.

If only we worked more toward following Jesus into a deeper God-relationship instead of arguing minute points of law, maybe we’d all be better off.

“The Jews” to whom John refers didn’t figure it out in total. Many followed him even after his death. Some killed him. Today, there’s still a division. I guess Jesus didn’t teach a unity of all humanity? Just a chance to “drink from the water of life.”

Listening as Understanding Others

May 23, 2011

Jesus always seemed to know about the people he encountered. He got into the heart of the “rich, young ruler.” He knew the faith of those who came to him asking for healing. I’m thinking about the Samaritan woman he encountered at the well. He knew exactly the hole in her heart.

The question is, do we have that capability? Do you know someone who always seems sensitive to the needs of others? Do you harbor just a little envy about their ability? Are some people just born that way?

I don’t know if listening qualifies as one of Richard Foster’s spiritual disciplines, but it is an essential ingredient. My last post contained some thoughts on focus and attention. Today, I’m thinking about leaving your life–your worries, needs, wish for recognition, need to talk–and becoming part of someone else’s life.

By emptying yourself, you can enter someone’s life. Listen to their needs and desires. Find the wound that needs healing and the joy that needs to be celebrated. Jesus did both. He healed and he celebrated. He confronted people portraying themselves as something they weren’t. But he did it by understanding each person and their specific needs.

We can do that too. We can heal people. Maybe not spectacular physical healings (but, who knows?). But surely we can heal emotional wounds. We can build up people. We can introduce them to a spiritual reality that will help them fulfill their lives.

We do that by first really listening to them. And understanding. It’s a discipline–that is, a habit you develop on purpose because that’s the kind of person you want to be.

Beware the self-righteous personality

May 17, 2011

I’ve been thinking about Jesus and the various personalities of people he dealt with. There were people who were probably “pagan” with strong personalities but who had strong belief that Jesus could heal. There were seekers from the woman with abnormal menstruation (so she was unclean) to the “rich, young ruler”.

Look at his closest followers. There was the strong but impetuous Simon. The wealthy and spiritual John and his brother James. “Doubting” Thomas. Mixed up Judas. Yes, he even seemed to deal sympathetically with Judas as he betrayed him.

There was one personality type that Jesus pointedly, and repeatedly, argued against. And we still see way too much of that personality type today. Even as today’s iteration of the type espouses Jesus as their leader (I think that’s called irony). It’s the type that I have the most difficulty with in my personal interactions.

That type is those who are self-righteous. “We know the truth and the way to live. We’ll tell you how. We’ll tell you all the stuff you do wrong. We’ll tell you how to avoid condemnation.” It’s an “us against them” attitude toward others. Willow Creek Community Church Teaching Pastor Darrin Whitehead calls them obstacles to leading people to Jesus. That is, people who need Jesus are so put off by the Pharisees among us that they stay away from help.

I actually was so amazed at this personality type and how these people could hold opinions in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary that I devoted several years to studying personality, brain physiology and mind/body interaction. The result was that I learned what every good salesperson intuitively knows–you can’t change the minds of this type of person through ordinary means. Look at Jesus. He probably only converted a few Pharisees. They can only be taught love and Jesus when they have a life-changing event of meeting the living Jesus.

But, that may be all of us. What are you doing to build a relationship with Jesus rather than a body of opinions about him?