Archive for the ‘Growth’ Category

Time for a Change?

May 6, 2024

The Christian life, the spiritual life is all about change. 

I was that sort of person. Now, I am becoming this sort of person. Maybe gradually or maybe suddenly. Maybe I learn a little every day. Maybe something is revealed to me a little at a time. Maybe an event happens opening my eyes to what I’ve been and what I could be.

A preacher used to turn to his right and motion a direction and then turn to his left and motion a direction. That’s repentance, he said, I was going that way, and now I’m going this way.

I’m writing this at 6am on a Monday morning. I have a busy week this week and will be meeting many people—both in person and over the Web. 

What will I learn from these encounters? Will I see or hear something that nudges me a bit along the way? Something that opens my eyes just a little? Or a lot?

If I am open to God’s presence for another week, what will happen?

Developing Your Strength

April 1, 2024

A little boy found a cocoon one morning. He took it to the local old, wise man down the street.

The man told the little boy, “A caterpillar wove this cocoon as a house for the winter while it changes into a butterfly. Watch this cocoon. Soon it will develop cracks. You will see a butterfly inside beating its wings against the walls of the cocoon. Do not help the butterfly. In time it will break open the cocoon and fly away.”

The little boy watched the cocoon, and sure enough cracks developed and he could see the butterfly beating its wings against the walls. Feeling sorry for the butterfly and wanting to help, the little boy broke open the cocoon. But the butterfly just laid still, limp, and then died.

He took this to the old man. “Little boy,” said the man, “you tried to help the butterfly, didn’t you? Don’t you know that the butterfly must beat its wings against the walls until it develops the strength to open the cocoon and fly. You deprived it the opportunity to grow strong.”

Just so in humans. Adolescents have the job of questioning and rebelling against the norms they see. Wise parents and adults allow this questioning and rebelling so that the child will grow stronger. They just establish guardrails far enough out to prevent danger while still allowing room for growth.

And as we age, our experiences still cause us to question and, yes, even rebel against God. For only by pushing against God can we allow God to push back and help us grow stronger. We find the limits of our strength and the beginnings of renewed strength thanks to God.

Growth Cycle

December 19, 2023

I came across this bit of wisdom from a newsletter:

“The three stages of career development are: 1. I want to be in the meeting 2. I want to run the meeting 3. I want to avoid meetings.”

I have lived that wisdom. I was honored to be included in meetings as s youngster. Before long I began to think that the meetings would be so much more useful if I ran them. Yes, I longed to be in charge. Then I was in charge a few times. I tried to dispense with meetings. 

Beneficial meetings exist in certain contexts. I was on a school board for a few years and on the boards of non-profits at times. Meetings where the point is making decisions to take the organization forward are essential. Meetings to talk about stuff—I can live much better without.

I’ve seen the cycle so many times. I long to be in charge. I am in charge and that feels great. Well, being in charge really isn’t that great; I just want to get things accomplished.

Do you think that Jesus’s disciples went through that cycle? Maybe they didn’t understand that Jesus skipped part 2? He shunned being King in the power-over-others sense. He taught. He led. He sacrificed.

This time of year we strive to remember his coming and struggle once again with why. It’s a time to pause and consider.

Confidence

November 22, 2023

So many people cannot contain emotions when they hear something they don’t agree with. Christians with a particular point of view who think the entire population of humanity agrees with then only to discover someone who doesn’t. Either an explosion of emotion erupts or a smoldering fire ignites.

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.”​― Robert Frost​

Even as a young lad I failed to understand the insecurity and sensitivity to criticism of many people. I remember people in my town worried about communists stamping out Christianity. I thought, “If Christianity is truly ordained by God, then we should have confidence that it will endure one way or another.” And I was only 11. 

I still have that attitude. Although I have two podcasts in queue that appear to be people with whom I will not agree. I have discovered from experience, though, that even here I may learn something valuable.

Never miss an opportunity to learn that you are wrong or that you have bad information. It is the path to growth.

Church Growth? What Is The Real Goal?

October 27, 2023

Today is more of a meditative essay than short contemplative thought.

Many years ago I was involved in leadership in a church. The fad of the day was the Church Growth movement. Oh, yes, that continues even now 40+ years later. But I went off to church growth classes and seminars. Our small church probably had about 100 weekly attendance. We learned about building a building along the major highway or freeway. The building should be in the middle of a gigantic parking lot. There should be no traditional religious icons or art. The music should be contemporary. The speaker enthusiastic.

The goal copied from business (and actually borrowed from 19th Century Social Darwinism) focused on growth—growth in numbers of weekly attendees and growth in revenue.

I’m not sure anyone stopped to think about the real goal of a New Testament church. Oh, Bill Hybels at Willow Creek, the prototype of the genre, talked about an Acts 2 church. Trust me, they didn’t achieve that goal. Much good was undoubtedly achieved. But I wondered until I experienced it first hand. 

This week the Plough Daily thought drew from an essay by Charles E Cotherman (the link gives you  one of an allowed three page views, I believe). He said, in part (the entire essay is worth reading):

The drive for efficiency within local churches became more pervasive over time. In post-war America, it was often led by a revolving group of church growth consultants and expert communicators who built large ministries through the systematic appropriation of business techniques and large media platforms. But as local churches looked to top-selling Christian authors, famous television preachers, and well-known worship leaders, what they witnessed was a new kind of efficiency that rewarded those who had won the competition for market share. No wonder the temptation toward church consolidation and mega churches has been so compelling. Like Walmart, these larger churches have harnessed the power of efficiency to great effect.

Cotherman was concerned with small rural churches that at one point were considered “inefficient” (whatever that means). He noted, “What small rural churches can offer, however, is an opportunity to be truly known within the church and the larger community.”

My point evolves from that thought. What is the goal of the church? Is it really more about relationship? About people living the kind of life in the spirit (like in Acts 2) that other people are attracted? Is the goal number? Efficiency? Or better, isn’t it more about making the Good News  come alive within the lives of real people?

How?

Marketing guru Seth Godin wrote today about “Small groups, well organized.” He noted challenges for anyone seeking to make an impact.

  • First, we get distracted by the inclination to make the group as big as we can imagine. After all, the change is essential, the idea is a good one. It’s for everyone. Except that’s a trap. Because a group that’s too large cannot be coherent or organized. 
  • Or perhaps, we blink and settle for a group that’s too small. Change requires tension, and if our group is so small that it’s comfortable at all times, we are probably avoiding making an impact. 
  • And well organized? That’s the persistent, generous work of creating the conditions for deep connection. 

When in doubt, focus on how to organize the folks you already have. Find a way to give them the tools for them to tell the others. Build a resilient loop, one that gets more organized and powerful as you grow. The right-sized group and ceaseless peer-to-peer organization are the foundation of culture change.

I applaud the phrase right-sized. Remember the goal. Is it only numbers? Or is it lives worth living?

I am “thinking out loud.” What do you think? I encourage thought–whether or not you comment.

Do You Have A Growth or A Fixed Mindset?

July 5, 2023

“How did I get into this situation?”

I’ve pushed myself into many situations over my lifetime where I would ask myself that question. There I was, the guy with the whistle, about to signal for the kickoff of the boys big school state championship soccer contest. “What am I doing here?”

Many times I’ve pushed myself only to subsequently wonder what I’d done to myself.

I thought of that last week with my grandkids.

My grandson is just back from a tour of five European countries with 600 of his closest friends—well 600 other high school student musicians from Illinois. They toured and performed in England, France, Germany, Switzerland, and Austria. He’s already an experienced international traveler, but he put himself into an entirely new experience at age 15.

Meanwhile his 13-year-old sister went off for a week at a swim camp (she’s a competitive swimmer) in another state. She put herself out for a new experience.

Psychology research suggests two primary types of mindset: growth and fixed. A fixed mindset happens when you believe there are restrictions on what you can accomplish. A growth mindset looks at possibilities. We all experience both types of thinking, but spending more time in the growth mode creates changes in your brain that can increase your likelihood of success.

​Studies suggest that those with more time in a growth mindset are better at goal-setting and decision-making. Additional research also appears to show that a growth mindset can build resilience that turns potentially frustrating moments into learning experiences.

It is often said that you are the sum of your six closest friends. You need to be around people who are more positive, encourage you to grow beyond what you think is possible, and provide specific positive feedback. So if you’re around too much negativity, it’s time to cut that loose.

Those with a growth mindset tend to be inspired by the success of others (rather than intimidated or defeated), and they focus on expanding their comfort zone. 

Stepping outside the comfort zone to learn, teach (best way to learn!), serve boosts your confidence and your physical, mental, and emotional growth.

What’s holding you back?

Taking Criticism

June 21, 2023

OK, I’ll admit it. I don’t take criticism well. It’s from a deep sense that I’ll never be good enough. (Thanks, Dad.) 

Something you should know about delivering criticism. If you begin with something positive or almost positive and then say, “but”, everything ahead of “but” is forgotten. 

I found this piece of advice from the Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (from The Daily Stoic newsletter).

If that criticism is correct and we are in error then the person criticizing us has done us a favor by correcting it. If they are wrong, what do we care? More likely, if we are doing our job right, we should already be well aware of the issue that people are raising and already be fixing it. We should have no sense of ourselves as perfect or above critique. Nor should we be so fragile and vulnerable as to not be able to bear being disliked or disagreed with.

What a mature approach. Something to learn from and practice. We can, if we but open our minds, learn from those who differ from us and those who offer criticism—even the unkind ones.

Church (or organizational) Growth

May 3, 2023

According to the evidence at our disposal, the expansion of the churches was not organized, the product of a mission program; it simply happened. Further, the growth was not carefully thought through. Early Christian leaders did not engage in debates between rival “mission strategies.”

Alan Kreider

As one grows older and stays observant, recurring patterns of behavior occur. I took a “church growth” class in the late ’70s. I later knew several pastors with advanced degrees with that speciality. Same basic knowledge.

What I learned—it’s all about leadership, not so much knowledge.

Many businesses and churches have vision statements and mission statements. (Side note: I wonder why have both. Seems both redundant and confusing. Which are the people to follow?)

My studies over many years agree with Kreider’s. Many people joined the new first century movement because of the types of lives they saw among the believers. I’ve read histories of the plagues in Rome under emperors such as Marcus Aurelius where Christians came out of hiding (a dangerous thing) to serve the sick and dying in whatever way they could. These acts of selfless love also spurred tremendous growth of the movement.

I don’t think Jesus was confusing. Matthew says that just before he ascended, Jesus just left one mission statement—

GO into the entire world,

TEACH what he taught,

MAKE disciples (that is, followers who would presumably do this same thing),

LIVE knowing Jesus is still with them (us) guiding the way.

The question to us—are we content to sit in our little circle of friends or are we living an inviting life of service and joy?

If It Doesn’t Kill You, It Will Make You Stronger

February 28, 2023

That title is, I believe, a paraphrase of something Nietzsche said. Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but there is truth. We need a certain amount of stressors in our life to make us stronger.

Women of south Asia, Africa, South America who carry loads balanced atop their heads have stronger bones and better posture than other women (and men) who don’t have a physical stressor.

I am about to leave for the gym as soon as I hit “publish” on this post. I will be doing a series of dumbbell and ab exercises after a little cardio. Those weights (a fly, curl, row, squat, plus ab work) will stress the muscles and bones of my body. Sarcopenia is the medical term for muscle loss. The description says it comes with aging. That is not necessary, though. I am over 70 with perhaps more muscle mass than ever. It’s the not having stressors for the muscle and bones that causes problems.

A little bit of stress helps us grow. Sometimes causes us to flex our learning and spiritual muscles. Something happens to us or to someone we know. We learn all about it. If things in life are going smoothly, we may become complacent in our spiritual life. A little stress comes along, and suddenly our spiritual life awakens and becomes quite important.

Not too much stress, though. That could send you to my daughter, the therapist, or to a cardiologist.

Thinking this through brought back memories of times of stress. And how I dealt with them. And how I grew stronger each time. Better able to handle the next one. But those were all random. Nothing to plan or prepare for. One day the owners come in and tell me they are closing the business. I’m out of a job. Well, nothing to do but suck it up and get stronger. And so it goes.

Perhaps that is a message we can get from many stories of people in the Bible who spent time in the wilderness being tempted and growing stronger.

Upon Further Investigation

January 2, 2023

You hear something about someone accompanied with a judgement. It’s not exactly gossip. It’s news with a view. The subtle, or not-so-subtle, intent of the speaker is to influence how you think about the target.

Then you engage in a conversation with them—the target. You listen to their story. They tell you how they felt. Their emotions. How they dealt with whatever the situation was.

Then you understand.

And the judgement had been rushed, but it will stick with the originator. Will they ever change their attitude? Some will; some won’t.

But as s second-hand hearer, I can disregard the judgement and understand.

Some psychologists trying to figure out the human personality will say it depends upon what number you are on the Enneagram or your something-something on the Myers-Briggs Types Indicator.

I think it’s growth. The development of wisdom that comes from reflecting on experience. Some of us grow. Some of us do not.

I’m reading through the 31 chapters of Proverbs, as I do most January’s, to establish a firm orientation for the new year. In the Wisdom of the Proverbs, we learn about the wise and the fool and the scoffer. Read, learn, practice.

For me, fifty-five years of contemplative practice helped with perspective.

May this new year afford you opportunities for growth. May you accept them and emerge the better for it.