Faith Venture

I sat at my desk at 6 am cup of coffee in hand turned looking from my window across the little par 3 golf course at the houses on the far side of our development. The sun will officially rise in half-an-hour. The moon is waxing gibbous, almost full, as it sets almost matching the sun rising.

My eyes closed for it is meditation time. But I looked out only a few moments later. The moon was gone. 

It was only a moment. And the scene was gone.

How often for us. There is the moment.

• We could greet someone new at our community or organization.
• We could say a word of consolation.
• We could open a door or take a load for someone.
• We could give a hug or a smile.
• We provide food for someone, buy a cup of coffee, or give a homeless person the extra food we’d boxed to carry out from the restaurant.

There was the moment. Staring us in the face. And, as they might say to me at the golf course, we whiffed—missed the ball. The moment is gone. We didn’t act. We missed the moment.

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day
Anticipation
Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

Carly Simon

My two weather apps have predicted a large snow/ice event for today for the past week or more. One app started about 7-inches and eventually predicted 12-inches. Then settled back to 7 then 4. The other not so much, but still plenty. We postponed a family gathering for today pushing it back to Sunday. Yesterday in the morning a National Weather Service “Watch” was posted suggesting 5-inches to 8-inches of heavy, wet snow. Suddenly in the evening, I noticed the Watch disappeared without so much as a whimper.

So, we spent a week of anticipation of a snow event that evidently is not going to happen.

I can’t seem to help myself. Especially for whether that might happen, the anticipation gives me a slight amount of nervousness. I can’t sit for long. There is a need to get up and wander around a bit to relieve the subtle tension.

Christians are now in the season of Lent leading up to the weekend of Good Friday and Easter Sunday. We know from the Gospels that at least some of the close disciples of Jesus were nervous with anticipation during that last walk to Jerusalem. Then, events happened so quickly. Then there was the death. And a day of anticipation. They actually were anticipating a knock at the door by the authorities coming to arrest them. They were not anticipating seeing Jesus again.

We worry about so many things that never happen.

Then, something good happens. That can range from the daily mundane of a nice day without snow to the gigantic surprise of talking with Jesus again.

Anticipation in the form of preparation can be a good thing. Anticipation in the form of worry drains our energy and emotional life.

Quoting Bobby McFerrin “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” seems a bit frivolous. A grain of truth hides in those words. Prepare with an optimistic mindset; don’t worry yourself into a cringing mess.

A friend talked about his preacher from when he was a kid. The preacher managed to work the subject of the evils of sex into every sermon. Then one day the preacher left town with the wife of the chairman of the Board of Deacons.

A man was known to have abusive attitudes toward women. He touted a book his daughter suggested he read written by two women who discussed abusive relationships. He seemed unaware that the book was meant for his own understanding.

I once listened to a pastor every week on a podcast. One day I realized that he was really self-centered and unaware of several shortcomings. His deeper vices did remain hidden…until they were brought to light. And I realized he had been telling us without realizing himself many of his faults.

Makes me think of the Scot poet Robert Burns, (not in Scot dialect) “Oh what a gift he gives us, to see ourselves as others see us.”

Makes me wonder what I’m saying that I don’t realize. How about you? What are we blind to about ourselves. Maybe time to stop and consider.

I don’t know all of my weaknesses. But I know some important ones.

I can easily be addicted to computer games. I had a little handheld football game in the late 1970s. I was on that a lot. Gloria Mark in her recently released book Attention Span says that can be a good way to relieve cognitive stress. But, games have become so immersive that I’ve avoided them for many years. They can lead me beyond relieving stress into addiction.

My emotions are easily aroused. I’ve learned (mostly) not to reply to lies spreading around social media. But awareness tells me to severely limit my exposure. My mental health and stability have been greatly improved.

I am aware of the state of mind of people around me. I learned that at a very early age thanks to an emotionally unstable home life. That’s often a good thing. I can respond appropriately. On the other hand, sometimes I can misinterpret (see above about emotions).

Developing awareness has improved my life a bit at a time. I’m aware when I’m with God and when we’re apart. I’m aware when I’ve become too withdrawn and need to interact with others.

Awareness is a beautiful thing. It helps me live a better life and probably makes things better for those around me.