Gary Mintchell

Author Archive

Taking Criticism

June 21, 2023

OK, I’ll admit it. I don’t take criticism well. It’s from a deep sense that I’ll never be good enough. (Thanks, Dad.)

Something you should know about delivering criticism. If you begin with something positive or almost positive and then say, “but”, everything ahead of “but” is forgotten.

I found this piece of advice from the Stoic Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (from The Daily Stoic newsletter).

If that criticism is correct and we are in error then the person criticizing us has done us a favor by correcting it. If they are wrong, what do we care? More likely, if we are doing our job right, we should already be well aware of the issue that people are raising and already be fixing it. We should have no sense of ourselves as perfect or above critique. Nor should we be so fragile and vulnerable as to not be able to bear being disliked or disagreed with.

What a mature approach. Something to learn from and practice. We can, if we but open our minds, learn from those who differ from us and those who offer criticism—even the unkind ones.

Posted in Attitude, Growth, Learning | Leave a Comment »

Meditation Spaces

June 20, 2023

I am on the road at another conference. Last week we were in the desert in Las Vegas. This week in the sub-tropics of Orlando, FL. No, I’m not doing Disney. Learning about new technologies and their uses. Big topic is sustainability.

When I’m in a hotel, I search for outdoor locations in the morning to begin my day refreshed. Meditation in an environment like this patio at the JW Marriott allows me to bring more energy to a day filled with interviews and other human interaction.

When I’m home, it’s a walk around the ponds in the community. I’ve even just walked the city when I happen to be downtown Chicago or wherever. Just being out is a great way to begin the day. It’s also a great way to rejuvenate in the mid-afternoon.

It is permissible (I give you permission) to meditate with your eyes open. That is a refreshing alternative that also allows your mind to associate freely and come up with new ideas.

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Laws and Commandments

June 19, 2023

There are people who try to make a rule to proscribe every possible way to live a life. Moses came down from Mt. Sinai with not only the 10 Commandments but a total of 613 laws. Many of those made a lot of sense to a huge group of recent slaves now loose and on their own in the desert. Raising pigs would have destroyed their way of life. Eating shellfish would have killed them.

First Century Jewish teachers added many more rules trying to keep up with changing times. Jesus often talked about the burdens the Pharisees were laying o the people with all these additional laws.

Then Jesus came. During his final instructions to his followers, he said that he would leave them with one new commandment. Not 614, but 1. Love one another as I have loved you. Do this and people will know you are my followers.

The Apostle Paul explained this in his letter to the Galatians calling it freedom from the law. (He explained it in many other places, too.)

We humans try to make it hard by over-thinking. It’s a simple concept just hard to live:

Love one another as Jesus loved his followers (and us). The extension of the love was giving up his life for them (us).

Posted in Freedom | 5 Comments »

Traveling

June 16, 2023

Traveling.

Yesterday was another travel day. Two-and-a-half days of software conferences. A delicious anniversary dinner Monday. More good food during the week. Four-hour flight Las Vegas to Chicago. But that means about seven hours of total travel and wait time hotel to home.

Both flights to and from were packed. People queued up orderly. Boarded. Got settled. I never heard a discourteous word. People helped anyone struggling to stow baggage. Perhaps we’ve recovered as a society from the unsettled nerves and frustrations of the Covid pandemic. Maybe that will rub off into other areas.

How good it is to travel and be emotionally drained by witnessing belligerent and obnoxious incidents.

Maybe it’s a discipline. Maybe it’s a lifestyle. Maybe it should just be who we are. Courteous, agreeable, helpful.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Have We Lost The Ability to Give Grace?

June 14, 2023

Social media makes it so easy to point out faults—of other people. You get mad and call other people liars or cheats or heathen.

Grace.

At various periods of Western history this was an acceptable female name.

More than a name, grace is an attitude. More than an attitude, it is a way of life.

Jesus was approached by a mob demanding to throw stones on a woman to kill her for adultery. An often asked question is, where was the man, since it takes two (as that old Motown song had it). Jesus may have recognized that in his response. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

That may be the beginning of grace. Realizing that I am not perfect and perhaps could use some grace from God myself. Further, I can give grace by refraining from words and actions that cause harm to another human being.

Paul, the Apostle, tries to explain grace in lots of words in his letters to the Galatians and the Romans, for example.

Jesus’ simple, yet profound, story explains better. No one is perfect. Why demand perfection of another? It’s all about grace. Getting it. Giving it.

Posted in Grace | Leave a Comment »

A Few Simple Guides to Health

June 13, 2023

Yesterday was a travel day. I never had a chance to sit and think and type. I’ve long since given up trying to use a laptop in an airplane seat. Checked into the hotel and went to my first sessions at the software conference I’m attending.

Meanwhile, I finished a book on nutrition and overall health. You Can’t Screw This Up, by Adam Bornstein. Subtitle: Why Eating Takeout, Enjoying Dessert, and Taking the Stress Out of Dieting Leads to Weight Loss That Lasts.

I recommend the book.

Bornstein offers guides to eating, but I think most apply to spiritual health as well as physical health.

1. Stay Nourished

2. Remain Sane

3. Avoid Guilt

These reminded me of Michael Pollen’s rules for eating:

Eat food (meaning real food, not ultra-processed)

Not too much

Mostly plants

Later, Bornstein offers these thoughts:

1. Stop trying to be perfect

2. Eat more satisfying foods

3. Eat fewer hunger-increasing foods (snack junk food)

4. Include foods you love

Try the ideas of not heaping guilt upon yourself, especially for not being perfect, which we’re not.

Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Another Perspective on Perspective

June 9, 2023

Some people have a theory in their heads about the way life is supposed to be. Or the way society is supposed to be. Or an organization.

Theories lead to rules to enforce those theories. Rules lead to those who achieve power to force other people to live according to their theory.

There is a scene at the end of the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation where the CEO comes to realization of the effects of his theory on people, “Some things look good on paper until you realize the effects on people. I now realize it’s the little people, like you, Clark, who really matter.”

The world over has political and religious leaders who have a theory of how things should be and are trying to force people into the mold. I guess that’s a human thing.

It’s when we change perspective and realize the effects upon individual people that we come closer to the Spirit of God. The mission Jesus proclaimed from the very beginning was to bring people into the Kingdom of Heaven. Not by force—that was the Roman way. But by love—that was Jesus way.

Posted in Attitude, Compassion, Leadership | Leave a Comment »

Using Perspective

June 8, 2023

Too often we slip into the feeling that “It’s all about me.”

Roadworkers arrive and begin setting up equipment in the neighborhood. They are doing it specifically to annoy me.

Someone fails to show for a lunch appointment. They did it just to spite me.

Maybe the situation has nothing to do with us. Maybe when viewed from the perspective of the other person—they are merely showing up to do the repair work required; they had a crisis large or small with work or family and couldn’t make lunch.

As a wise person said, “Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you, because they are not thinking about you.”

Often when Jesus was asked about something, he tried to get the person to divert focus from within themselves and their prejudices and their rules in order to gain the bigger perspective of seeing life from other’s points-of-view.

Perhaps that is a good discipline to cultivate.

Posted in Attitude, Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

Resilience

June 7, 2023

The ability to recover from something that distorts you.

Many companies write to me about their new technologies or applications or also how well they are doing. A word has become one of the marketing terms du jour. Resilience.

They wish to convey that they are a resilient company producing resilient products that will make their customers, well, resilient.

So I thought, how does that apply to each of us? What does it mean for us to be resilient? How can this be acquired, if indeed, it is a quality that can be acquired?

My life has experienced many bumps. Events happened to distort me. Bend me. Cause stress and grief. Yet, I have (so far) recovered like a good foam mattress.

To recover implies that there is a good place to which to recover. Press on a piece of good, dense foam and release. It will recover to its original shape.

We must have that firm, original shape to which to return. If we are too pliable, we will remain in the new shape. If we are too firm, we will break.

Just so in our spiritual and emotional lives. We must be able to absorb any shocks and yet have that inner strength to regain our shape. Too brittle, we break. Too soft and we just blow with the prevailing winds. That calls for a solid foundation in teaching, experience, and spiritual life.

Posted in Disciplines | Leave a Comment »

We Are Not Perfect

June 6, 2023

You are not perfect!

I am not perfect!

We are not perfect.

Sorry to inform you.

Maybe you thought you were the exception that proves the rule.

Maybe you think that everyone else should be perfect—just as you tell them (order them) to be. Hint: see rules above.

I have experienced Christians who thought they were made perfect once they were “saved.” One group I knew held prayer meetings during our break times in the factory. To my eyes, they cheated the company out of 40 minutes of productive labor for which they were paid. Even if they were praying. That is not perfect. Even in a monastery where people live lives devoted to God, there is prayer time and there is work time.

We seem to have a brand of Christians all over the globe who seem to think that they are perfect and that they can force everyone else to be perfect. Guess what? It has been proven that that won’t work. But certain men keep trying.

We also punish ourselves. We want a perfect family. A perfect diet. Perfect exercise.

Those will not happen.

Everyone just needs to relax. Breathe deeply. Hold. Release slowly.

Now, just build healthy lifestyles and routines. Forget perfect. Live in the spirit. Try on some attitudes such as humility and forgiveness and joy.

Posted in Attitude, Humility | Leave a Comment »

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