Posts Tagged ‘Temptation’

Willpower Is Key To Success

March 26, 2014

There was a child, a marshmallow, a closed room, and a promise.

This was an experiment a couple of decades ago where a researcher curious about willpower brought a child into a room. A marshmallow was placed on a table. The researcher stated he would have to leave the room, but he would return in 15 minutes. The child could eat the marshmallow, but if the child did not eat the marshmallow, then he/she would get two marshmallows upon the return of the researcher.

Some ate the marshmallow. Some didn’t.

A follow up on as many of the children as they could find after some 20+ years revealed that the children with the willpower to delay gratification were generally more successful in life than those lacking that one strength.

Daniel Goleman writes about this research in one chapter of his latest book, Focus. It turns out that willpower is more effective a predictor of a young child’s (ages 4-6) success in life than is social class or IQ.

How did the children who succeeded in resisting the temptation do it? They diverted their minds. Those whose thoughts dwelled on the marshmallow, ate it. Those who started singing a song to themselves, or talking to themselves, or played make-believe–in other words, those who diverted their thoughts from the marshmallow–were able to resist it.

Two takeaways.

If you are a parent or grandparent or otherwise can influence a child. Teach them to divert their thoughts to something else instead of continuing to focus on the errant behavior.

Or, for you…when your thoughts start to focus on something you’d rather not think about–be it that donut that is now staring at me as I write this or some worry or anxiety–start to think about something else. The willpower lies in intentionally (yesterday’s topic) choosing to think about something different from the negative thought. I first noticed that I did this myself over 40 years ago. I testify that it works.

Help a kid. Help yourself. Learn how to develop some willpower.

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Are You Acting The Part of a Spiritual Person

November 17, 2010

Humans are great actors. Most won’t make it in Hollywood. But most of us try to act like someone we’re not in real life. We dress a certain way to impress people. We show up in church. We show up for certain service activities. We may even hold doors open for others. Or say “please” and “thank you.”

But what is inside? Do we care at all for those we serve? Are we full of anger, hurt, bitterness, vengefulness, envy, greed? It’s easy to be caught up in some of those emotions–emotions that can crowd God out of the picture and our lives. Anger seems to be the prevalent emotion in America today. Most likely caused by underlying feelings of greed, selfishness and envy.

I live in America and travel frequently to Europe. I speak only a little German and very little French. I can watch a little TV and see magazines, though, and see the same things as here–a supersaturation of marketing trying to reach the depths of emotions of needing things to be satisfied (or sexy, or beautiful, or accepted). Those are all external things with which we act a part in a play. And we buy it. Literally.

But, what are you left with?

The real need is to be in relationship with God. Bring your inner life into congruence with what your outside life sometimes says. Saying you have faith is one thing. But living with God is another. Living with God requires stepping back in your mind and observing yourself. Catch yourself when you get caught up in some of those emotions–and you will get caught up in them. Then remember your friend–Jesus. His example and teaching were meant to help us line up our thoughts, as well as deeds, with God.

This takes effort. You must slow down your life and reflect. Pray as a conversation where you talk and you listen. Don’t pray that someone else’s faults are corrected. Pray that your own faults will be corrected. Simplify your life so that you quit acting a part and start living the part.

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Posted in Christianity, Living, Spirituality | 2 Comments »

Spiritual Fitness and Endurance

August 29, 2010

I have refereed soccer for over 20 years. Along the way, I’ve been privileged to work some pretty high-level games. In order to be successful, I had to continually train my body and my mind. Part of training the body is to have the endurance to still be running at the end of the match along with the players and not be so tired that you begin to make poor decisions (mind).

People ask me about the spiritual life. Is it one burst of enlightenment? Or, is it believing in a set of words? Baptists (among others) emphasize the importance of decision. Some think that once you make the decision for Christ, then you’re pretty much done. Nothing else to do.

The answer to all of that is pretty much “no” or “there’s more.” Paul often uses the metaphor of athletic training when speaking of the spiritual life. Just as it is necessary to train your body and mind to be fit to be a soccer referee, you must train your body and mind to be fit for the spiritual life. How do you train? You train your mind by study–study the Bible; study scholars who study the Bible and help explain terms the original languages and the like; study writings from spiritual masters; and, most of all think abut what you’re reading. You train your body by working to avoid sins of the body–sexual, alcohol abuse, and the like. You also train through the discipline of prayer.

James makes a similar teaching at the beginning of his pastoral letter–you gain endurance by living through trials.

Once you decide for Jesus, the spiritual life begins in earnest. Begin training now.

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Posted in Christianity, Living, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Maintain Focus

May 8, 2009

Last weekend, the word of the day seemed to be distraction. I noticed in church so many people were distracted from the worship and teaching. Later at a concert, the same thing. So many thoughts and concerns running through their heads. So much need to talk.

But I know focus is a hard thing. I’ve been pondering how to maintain focus, study and prayer while living a hectic life. Last week I was in California (from Ohio) all week. Five days, four hotels. Up at 3:30 am Monday to catch the 6:15 flight eventually to San Diego. Off the plane, meet my colleague, drive up to Temecula, check in hotel, drive to company we’re visiting, discuss technology and business, leave for dinner and back to hotel 10 pm PDT (1 am EDT).

Next day up early, videotape interviews, lunch and back to airport for flight to San Francisco. Once again in hotel about 10. Same thing Wednesday and Thursday. Friday up early to head to airport, home 1 am.

This week just two days that bad, but the problem is–how do you maintain discipline and focus in the midst of life? It’s easy for me to sit in observation mode and watch others in a state of distraction. Harder to step back and watch myself in distraction. Let he who is without sin cast the first rock, as Jesus once said.

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Temptation

July 20, 2008

Continuing in my study of Luke. After a brief history of John the Baptist and his message, Luke focuses on his main subject–Jesus. Jesus meets John at the river where he is baptized and has a spiritual experience. He then proceeds to the wilderness to contemplate his new insights and probably his upcoming ministry when he is tempted by the devil.

This is a well-known, and usually forgotten, aspect of spiritual life. Almost inevitably after a moving spiritual experience–whether at camp, during prayer, at an event such as an Emmaus walk–temptations are shown to you. Some are quite subtle and you may not recognize them. Others are more bold, but nonetheless powerful. In the time of Luke, the spiritual force that tempted people was given the name translated as the devil. We don’t use that term very much today, but the spiritual reality is quite real. Into your head pop visions of “entertaining” or “fun” things. They can be so powerful that you begin to fixate on them. These emotions (as we often call them today) can be sexual or other relationship-destroying urges. It may be alcohol or drugs to help maintain the high. It may be a fixation on things rather than people. It may be a fixation on self instead of others. Whatever, these are powerful agents and must be dealt with by prayer and by seeking the help of a spiritual guide. Notice that Jesus quotes Scripture to the devil. He learned what God wants through study. That in itself is a great guide to us. But, beware just memorizing Scripture. In the final temptation, the devil quotes Scripture to Jesus. But He sees the fallacy of interpretation in the quote and one-ups the quote with another that more truly reflects the will of God.

So, be alert to temptations that seem to pop from nowhere into your consciousness. Learn the Bible–and how to interpret what God really means. Stay focused on God–and you’ll continue in the life.

–Gary Mintchell

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