Posts Tagged ‘Love’

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What Is Love

September 16, 2015

The word love is used often in the New Testament. John’s writing is filled with the word. Jesus said that he left two commandments–Love God and Love our neighbor. Jesus also said that people in general would know his followers by their love.

It makes me wonder–what is love.

We are taught that Greek has three words for love–eros, frater, agape. New Testament writers don’t refer to erotic love all that much. There are talks on agape–a selfless type of giving.

But Paul–that guy covers a lot of material while he tries to explain Jesus’ words to his new converts (and us old ones).

I’m wishing that more people would teach from the 12th chapter of Romans. Paul cites 29 synonyms for love in that chapter. 29!

If anyone thinks you should pull out Proverbs and read it once a year–and I do–then we need to put Romans 12 on our annual reading list. We should take a lot of time with it. Think about each word.

  • Let love be genuine
  • Hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good
  • love one another with mutual affection
  • outdo one another in showing honor
  • do not lag in zeal; be ardent in spirit; serve the Lord
  • rejoice in hope
  • be patient in suffering
  • persevere in prayer
  • contribute to the needs of the saints
  • extend hospitality to strangers
  • bless those who persecute you
  • rejoice with those who rejoice
  • weep with those who weep
  • live in harmony with one another
  • do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly
  • do not claim to be wiser than you are
  • do not repay anyone evil for evil
  • so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all
  • never avenge yourself
  • do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good

What a world it would be if Jesus-followers actually did what he taught! If only I could follow all those attitudes and actions!

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Leadership Tip-Team Building

July 31, 2015

What made Phil Jackson such a great coach in the National Basketball Association. Arguably it was his ability to take a group of super-talented individuals and convince them that their role in the team was important but that all of them working together blending their roles would bring championships.

Building teams is the best way to move an organization or even committee forward.

Here are some elements of team building for leaders:

  • Define why you are building a team (winning NBA championship, leading a new building campaign, selling a product, leading a church)
  • Define the roles you need to be successful (not just filling spots, but recruiting talented people to fill roles)
  • Carefully recruiting people who can fill a role or be trained for that role
  • Continually work with each person and the group to build trust and communication
  • Leaders must constantly hold out the vision and purpose to the team to avoid splintering into factions going different ways

If you are leading a team of leaders, it’s the same thing. But each team member will go off to lead their teams. It is important that the team building be passed down the organization. A good team at the top builds teams all the way throughout the organization.

The enemy of teams–silos. When leaders appear to communicate together, but the conversations are superficial, that is a warning sign of silos. When each leader goes off and does their own thing without regard to the work of other teams, then the organization grows dysfunctional. That reflects lack of top leadership. It also reflects lack of vision.

When Jesus said people would know his followers by their love, he didn’t exactly mean that they were always sitting in a circle holding hands and singing Cum Ba Yah. Love demands respect.

A team-building leader respects people as a first priority. And respect for people filters througout the entire organization.

A great team consists of people who fulfill their roles in pursuit of the common visions where everyone has respect for the others.

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Emotions are contagious

July 29, 2015

Yawns are contagious.

There–did you just either yawn or stifle a yawn?

One of my classmates many years ago in middle school read that truism. She would go around yawning (fake) just to see if other people would also yawn.

Emotions are also contagious. 

When you are around upbeat people don’t you usually feel better? Or, when you’re around someone with a dark cloud over their head, doesn’t it bring you down?

There are some people so over-the-top “up” that you get suspicious of them. But you can tell people who are just genuinely joyful. And you just love to be around them.

Love is the same way. People smile at a young couple romantically in love. But when there are groups of people who genuinely love each other–they care about each other, share concern, help out–outsiders can sense that group love. And they’d love to share in it.

I’ve seen people who found that emotion over the campfire at the end of the day during a Christian camp in the summer. They wanted every day of their lives to be like that.

Jesus taught that “outsiders” would know his followers, his disciples, by the love they showed each other. 

In fact, that is why the early church grew. People said, like the scene in Harry Met Sally, “I want what she’s having.”

I felt that once in my life. We had a group that was fantastic. Then we scattered around the country. I don’t think I ever felt it agains, except maybe during a short weekend during an Emmaus Walk.

It is great. Attreactive.

It is so good when people, especially Jesus-followers, work together in love. Why do we lose that?

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Whom Are We To Judge?

July 21, 2015

1 Cor 5:12, “For what have I to do with judging those outside? Is it not for those inside that you are to judge?” 

We are to judge Jesus followers, not outsiders 

We should attract outsiders by how we show love within our fellowship. Hmm, how is that working for us? 

Don’t know about you, but sometimes my local fellowship strays far from this ideal. Rumors, lies, character assassinations. On the other hand, it can be a place of support, fellowship, concern, worship and prayer. 

As I wrote last week, sometimes it’s really hard to know what a “Christian” is by observing and listening.

We’ve had so many “prophets’ who build careers around exaggerated pronouncements about the society around us. Well, duh, Paul would tell us. Of course. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (OK, Paul wouldn’t know about rocket science, but give me a break) to figure out that people who are not following Jesus are also not following all of his commandments.

How to we get them to (for the most part) follow Jesus command? Well, by bringing them into discipleship with Jesus. I say “for the most part” because I wish that I could follow all of Jesus’ commands. But, he set the bar so high. OK, no excuse. Anyway, back to the argument. 

And how do we do that? Well, by showing them the good life that they could have as a disciple. 

Oh, we’re not modeling that love?

Maybe we need to look honestly into a mirror (me, too) and see where we fall short. Where did we say something to someone that was less than uplifting? Where did we not show mercy? When did we ignore a fellow human hurting?  

I’m willing to say that I’m guilty. How about you? 

That’s the first step. 

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What Is The State of Your Heart

July 8, 2015

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” — Jeremiah 17:9-10

I heard John Ortberg once refer to Jesus as the first cardiologist for he was always concerned with the state of your heart.

We should all be concerned with the state of our own heart.

Where is it today? What is it full of?

Is it fearful? Look deep inside at it. Ponder. What is it that I am afraid of? Sit down and have a conversation with God. Lay out your fears before him. Then listen. God will lead you to a writing or will whisper a message that lets you know that with God in your life, you really have nothing to fear. You have a life beyond this one.

Perhaps your heart is full of bitterness? You have suffered a wrong, or at least believe you have suffered a wrong. People are bad. They are all out to get you. Your life is shriveled. People avoid you. God is there to heal the bitter heart and bring warmth.

Perhaps your heart is filled with joy. You smile easily. You are comfortable with yourself and your relationship with God. And God smiles with you, spreading the joy to all you meet.

Perhaps your heart is filled with love. Everyone you meet says, “There goes a true follower of Jesus.” And their lives are enriched.

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What If We Were All Disciples

June 8, 2015

A disciple is someone who follows a master trying to be like the master, live like the master, talk like the master.

Jesus called the people around him at the end and gave them a vision. He wanted them all to be disciples and to make disciples of others. He also said that his disciples would be known by society at large by their love.

Maybe it was when the speaker stopped teaching and started “preaching” that my mind latched on to this idea. What would the world be like–what would it have been like–if all of Jesus’ followers actually were disciples?

Suddenly my thoughts were captured by my failures as a disciple. Have I been a good one?

That is the crux of the matter. It’s not pointing fingers at others. It’s looking first at the log in my eye before helping the other remove the spec. The German writer Thomas Mann wrote, “If everyone swept their own porch, the whole world would be clean.”

I wrote that on an engineering blog several years ago. Those darn literal engneers. One wrote back that there would still be vast areas of geography that wouldn’t be clean.

That, of course, is a metaphor. Our own porch is our own life, our thoughts, our actions, our words. 

But let’s speculate. What if all people who call themselves followers were actually disciples? What if we were all known by our love instead of our politics, or our unfounded opinions, or our stubbornness, or our fears and angers?

Maybe I’m a dreamer, but that would be a great step toward actualizing God’s Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

And forgive me for my mind wandering during church 😉

Reminds me of the little boy who sat in class staring out the window. The teacher noticed and stopped talking. Eventually the little boy noticed the unusual silence and came into the present world. “What were you doing?” the teacher asked. “Thinking,” said the little boy. “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to think in school?” replied the teacher.

That’s me.

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Given a Second Chance, What Would You Do?

April 27, 2015

What would you do if you were given a second chance to live? Wither away in bitterness? Help the person who tried to kill you? Dedicate your life to helping others in similar situations as your attacker?

Ten days after 9/11, a shocking attack at a Texas mini-mart shattered the lives of two men: the victim and the attacker. In this stunning talk, Anand Giridharadas, author of “The True American,” tells the story of what happened next. It’s a parable about the two paths an American life can take, and a powerful call for reconciliation.

Watch this TED Talk for a moving story of redemption. Not explicitly Christian, but that’s OK. It’s the power of love.

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Andy Stanley—New Rules for Love, Sex, Dating

April 13, 2015

How many people have lost career, families, respect due to sexual passions run amok? How many marriages have you seen that just never got started off right?

Andy Stanley’s latest book, “The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating,” is targeted at single people of all ages, but the wisdom works for all of us—even those like me who are many, many years past the subject.

Stanley is one of the best communicators in the Christian church today. I listen to him every week. He talks about focusing on making better decisions in order to live a better life. In other words, he’s not like the generation that was in charge during his (and my) youth that stopped at “thou shalt not” moralism. He applies teachings from the Bible much as common sense rather than finger pointing.

This book talks of relationships, treating people well, and how to handle those powerful emotions of “love” and sex. I single out the word “love” partly because we are just past Valentine’s Day where love is celebrated as an emotion. Stanly emphasizes, much as I always do, love as something you do, not always as something you feel.

I especially appreciate his descriptions of the elements of love that Paul the Apostle discusses in 1 Cor 13. Especially he defines patience and kindness as decisions. Of course, that is true. You decide in the moment that you will be patient in the situation. You decide in the moment to act with kindness toward another.

Decisions, though, when repeated lead to habits. You develop through your repeated decisions the habit of patience or kindness. It becomes a part of who you are. You become patient and kind, and by extension, loving.

Oh, and for sex—don’t do it. Well, don’t do it outside of marriage. His most powerful teaching, as well as the hardest, is for those who have left or are leaving a sexually active relationship that is floundering. Take a year off. Do not date for a year. Take time to be the person that the person you are looking for is looking for.

[DISCLAIMER: I received this book from North Point Publishing in exchange for this review. There was no guarantee what my review would be, though.]

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The Love Language of Receiving

April 7, 2015

Her love language is receiving. She just loves to receive things. If you wish to fill up her emotional love tank, then continually give her things.

I heard a message on that subject and expressed shock. People told me to read the book by Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages.

I did.

It’s all about attitude. The spirit with which you give…and receive. Much like the teachings of the spiritual disciplines which say that practicing the spiritual disciplines are not “works” that lead you to salvation but practices that will help you get closer to God.

Still, I wonder.

We live in an age of narcissism. An age of entitlement. For so many people, it’s “all about me” and what I can get. “I’m entitled to everything I have–and more. Just because I’m daddy’s little princesses or mommy’s little boy.”

For those who aren’t on the entitlement side of narcissism, there is the empty part. Those for whom it’s all about me but I’m empty. I need things to fill it. Each thing I purchase or receive fails to fill the void. I need more. But the more I have, the emptier I feel.

What stands out for me is that receiving is passive. Quality time is active. Physical intimacy is active. Service is active. Receiving is passive. Giving, on the other hand, is active. That’s where I thought he was going in the beginning of the book.

I’m sure this item has helped many. I think it’s dangerous in today’s societies. Be careful about the love language of receiving. Is it a void that can never be filled?

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You Are Known Because You Love One Another

April 2, 2015

People gather together in little groups and talk about other people in the organization. Suspicious of motives, then share negative thoughts and feelings about “those in charge.” Ever critical, the pastor’s last sermon was below average. The lay leaders don’t care about the rest of the congregation.

I’ve spent most of my life in church. That’s my experiene in general wherever I’ve been. Jesus must shudder when many of these people call themselves his followers.

The only Lenten time observances we had while I was growing up were Maunday Thursday (today) and Easter. We did not “observe” Lent. We did not have Good Friday services.

Today was remembrance of Jesus’ washing of the disciples feet.

He took off his robes. Sort of in his underwear? Not like ours, of course, yet, not how one would appear in public.

He wrapped a towel around his waist. Even today there are vestiges of that practice with waiters with small aprons. Servants, servers, they looked like that. Not important leaders.

 But Jesus did.

He washed their feet. They were shocked. Characteristically only Peter blurted out what they all were probably thinking–Not my feet, Lord, You are not a servant.

Jesus followed this up with one of his last instructions. “You shall love one another, just as I have loved you. You will be known as my disciples by your love for one another.”

In the US, at least, it will be hard to find an organized group of people who call themselves Christian who truly practice this command.

Imagine, if you will, a group of people filled with the spirit who have that kind of love for one another. That love that will do anything for a brother or sister. Imagine what an awesome experience.

Oh, if only we could actually follow Jesus’ teachings.

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