Just Be Yourself

“How can I meet girls?” asked the young man in an online q&a session with a famous author.

“Just be yourself,” was a suggestion.

“How can I be myself? Aren’t I always?” came the reply.

I presumed his age as young, because evidently he was not aware yet of the masks people wear to project being someone they are not.

If he were aware, perhaps he’d be concerned that being himself may not be appealing to others. Perhaps he would be correct. Or perhaps just insecure. Doing things that develop self-confidence such as learning a skill or developing an expertise helps.

Maybe first, he (as well as all of us) first need to ask for the power like Robert Burns did in his poem “To a Louse”–‘O wad some Power the giftie gie us / To see oursels as ithers see us!’

You can change and improve once you know your true starting point. It begins with attitude and continues to behaviors.

Or for this young man, I like Andy Stanley’s advice (paraphrased)–be the person that the person you want to be with wants to be with.

Oh, and ask questions. Then listen–really listen. And show interest and concern. It’s a gift to be quiet and let others talk. Then they think you are a great conversationalist. One of life’s many paradoxes.

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