Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Newer Entries »

Open Eyes to Dynamics of Life

September 25, 2010

Sorry not to post for a while. I had a thigh muscle pull bad enough to land me for an overnight stay in the hospital followed by a couple of weeks on a narcotic pain killer. While I realize there exists a minor literary tradition of writing on spiritual topics while on drugs, that’s not my style. On top of that, I had a magazine to get out (no rest when you publish monthly), a special project newspaper for a conference coming up next week, and then my long-time boss, mentor and friend passed away last Wednesday. It’s been a month that tries my balance, to say the least.

But a couple of weeks on your back give you time to contemplate. At the same time my wife was reading some of those hate emails that circulate the Internet. Me, I just delete unopened. She? She reads every one, to the bottom, then gets upset. I tell her that a good way to maintain emotional and intellectual balance is to pare out things from your life that unnecessarily cause distress. (There are life events, of course, that confront you that must be met, but that’s another matter.)

Back to my wife’s reading and the subject of my last post–like many people my age, I started meditating in the late 60s. I’ve explored paths, had experiences. I combine practice with reading. The thing that has consistently amazed me during my reading the ancient spiritual masters for 40 years is that they write very little about prayer or meditation techniques. They write about the person. Where do all the passions originate? How do you overcome them? How do you live your life? It’s not a method or a word to memorize. It’s all about how you live, where you focus.

So, I deal with many Christians who have memorized a few verses from the Bible. Some of them, though, when I observe how they live, how they interact with others, what their attitude toward others is, I wonder.

Allow me a metaphor. I am a soccer referee and instructor of referees. I’ve noticed two types of referees. One type is “book smart.” They are dissatisfied with anything less than 95% on any test we give. They know every law or rule and every interpretation–in their head. But, put them on the pitch (field) to actually do refereeing, they fail at any tough contest. Like life, soccer is a dynamic game. It has flows of activity. There are many nuances. Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective or flow of the game that determines what is a foul and what is called. A good referee at this higher level knows the written laws thoroughly. That is only the start. The key to success is to develop a feel for the game, relate to the players, move the game along within the boundaries.

Some Christian traditions have developed a formula: accept Christ + read Bible + attend church religiously = go to heaven. Oh, by the way, judge other people based upon what you’ve read and whether they agree with you. It’s the “know the law” type of religion. Sounds a little like the Pharisees to me.

There is another way, much more ancient than that, which says something like, recognize Jesus, develop a living relationship with God through Jesus, read the Bible to deepen your knowledge and follow the two commandments Jesus gave us–love God, love people. (Love as an action verb, not an emotion.) That’s my tradition. I wish I could do it as well as I can say it.

Tags:, , , , , ,
Posted in Living, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

How to handle obnoxious Christians-or anyone

September 10, 2010

Ever notice that sometimes when you’re going in too many directions and barely keeping your nose above the metaphorical water your body, tired of being ignored shouts, “Stop!” ? I’ve pondered my next post on this blog from many angles. In the evening of 8/31 as I prepared for a quick drive up to Cleveland for a meeting. Then from the perspective of laying on my back on the garage floor Wednesday morning 9/1 when the muscles in my left leg told me rather forcefully “you ain’t going nowhere, buddy”. Then I received one of those dreaded calls that one of my friends was about to die from cancer.

Even I could finally stop the frantic space and just rest a little. Even in the early morning pain when the pills haven’t done their job and I can’t sleep. Slow down, breathe deeply, focus — on God.

I’m contemplating attitude. What’s my attitude about life right now? How do I approach small setbacks? Then news started hitting. Pastor of a small church in Florida (I think) decides it’s a great time for a publicity stunt. He’ll burn a pile of books he doesn’t like and generate a lot of attention (I think that idea was tried in the late 30s and early 40s in Europe–didn’t work too well). Well, he got a lot of attention, but problem in a connected world is that one small-time opportunist can create havoc for thousands. He literally could fan the flames of hatred and put the lives of thousands of Americans in danger half-way across the world. Is it time for growing responsibility? Or are we headed toward another era of hatred and warfare such as the Nazis incited?

Problem is, the guy claims to be a Christian (I leave the judging to a higher authority). So how do you deal with an obnoxious Christian? Well, how do you deal with an enemy? With love, right? So…

Jon Swanson is one of the best writers I read on these subjects. Try this on for size.

Tags:, , , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Ethics | 1 Comment »

Grieving About Separation

August 25, 2010

My heart breaks when there is separation–when couples separate, when peoples decide to separate into hatred against each other. This week I’ve heard two talks based on stories from Luke’s gospel. One was based on the story of Zacchaeus, the “wee little man” of kid’s song lore. He was a tax collector and “sinner.” The other talk was actually based on three stories in response to the religious leaders’ criticism that Jesus hung out with “sinners.” The three stories from Luke 15 regard the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son.

Now, when one group labels another group “sinner,” that must mean that there are two groups–them and us. They are sinners, while we are, evidently “not-sinners.” We’re perfect, in touch with God, in fact blessed by God. They are not. Jesus said that is not true. God loves sinners and fervently wants to “find” them. In fact, God says everyone is a sinner. In reality, there is only one group–sinners. That’s all of us. When we forget that, then sin has entered us.

I thought about this after reading a couple of news reports this week. First was a Lutheran pastor who has separated from his church because they are letting “sinners” into the ministry. Sorry, but I think I detect a couple of sins by interpreting his comments–in him. He’s classifying people into the good guys (him, of course) and the bad guys (people he doesn’t like). Instead of bringing healing, like Jesus did, he is bringing division. And I think division grieves God’s soul.

The other item is the hatred popping up in New York because a Muslim group wants to build a cultural center in lower Manhattan. One group says that having anything to do with Muslims in the area is an affront to the memory of those who died in the tragic attacks of Sept. 11. But that is to divide people again–and probably falsely. There are Muslim (or call themselves that anyway) terrorists. They have perpetrated some horrendous deeds. On the other hand, there are Christian terrorists (or call themselves that anyway) who go around killing people they don’t like. No one reading this would say all Christians are terrorists because we have a few who go over the edge. Likewise to call all Muslims terrorists because of a few is a travesty.

These divisions grieve me. I have friends from around the world who are spiritual, but from within their home religious traditions. To classify them as less than human or less than spiritual grieves the heart. Only when we can be like Jesus and get over those classifications and realize we’re all in this together will we start the healing process that will bring everyone to God.

The theology sounds simple–it’s them vs. us. But the reality is, in the words of the comic strip Pogo, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Living | Leave a Comment »

Too Much Bluster

August 11, 2010

You know the type. Over the top. Seems to go overboard in telling how much faith, joy, enthusiasm for God they have. Shakespeare, who had great insight into human nature, said, “Methinks thou dost protest too much.” This type of person also seems to deny too vigorously when someone asks something.

Fortunately, I meet few people like this. Fortunately, because a “red flag” raises in my mind when I do meet them. I think that sometimes the bluster and vigor of their profession masks a deep uncertainty. Perhaps they really do want to follow Jesus. Inside, though, there is still something not committed, unsure, conflicted. Some just can’t overcome a deep passion or emotion. And that holds them back. Somehow they just need to get to the point of compete trust in God. Maybe it takes an “existential event,” that is, an experience in life where they truly understand the need for decision and trust.

Peter was just such a person. He believed, sort of, but he was always a little over the top. He professed that for which he didn’t understand. On Jesus’ last night while at dinner, he told Peter that tomorrow he would deny ever knowing him. Peter was aghast. How could that happen? But it did.

While we  should model our lives after Jesus, Peter is a better example of how most of us really are. Peter’s example also shows how you can overcome. Peter went from denial to leadership. Examine your own life. Are you, too, a little over the top? Where have you not committed your life to God. You can. Peter did. He showed the way. It’s not too late.

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Living | Leave a Comment »

Betrayal and Forgiveness

August 9, 2010

[Note: I was on another business trip with days that went from 6 am to 10 pm. Somewhere I need to either budget less sleep or budget my time better on these trips. I slipped on all my blogs.]

I’ve reached the end of Mark where he devotes several chapters to Jesus’ last couple of days. I’ve thought about betrayal. The Bible is full of stories of betrayal. Certainly Jesus was betrayed by one of his friends. That happens. Usually this betrayal is a scene in a larger plot–that of enemies trying to undercut you or even kill you in extreme cases.

And that’s happened to me. I worked for a failing company. One day my boss came into my office and said, “X is going to the president of the company telling him you’re not working hard enough.” I was in the habit of eating lunch at my desk and reading the Wall Street Journal and other business information. Thereafter, I went to a restaurant with the group and had a hamburger and beer. That was considered more productive.

Later when I was at another company, I’d run into X around town. He’d smile and greet me like an old buddy. I remember the incident [the old saying “forgive and forget” isn’t always possible], but I don’t care about him. Within me, I forgave him. He was just trying, in vain, to save his job at the expense of me and probably others. Mostly I just thought about the stupidity of the entire situation.

I just read somewhere a quote that went something like, forgiveness is the beginning of healing. If you carry the betrayal within you it will have the ability to destroy your life. If you forgive, then you can get on with your life free of those negative emotions that destroy you.

Jesus seemed to forgive Judas in a way before the betrayal actually went down. Even facing death, he knew someone had to do the act. Judas was playing his part. Jesus knew. He didn’t go to his death carrying bitterness and revenge toward his betrayer. He was past that and on toward his freedom.

We’re unlikely to face a betrayer who is out to kill us. But the same model exists. Following Jesus as the pioneer of our faith (as the writer of Hebrews puts it) means emulating his model. In this case, forgive them the wrong done to you (I’m not talking about God’s final forgiveness here–that’s up to Him) and then you’re free to live with God.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Living | Leave a Comment »

Following the Law

July 23, 2010

You are driving. Ack, there’s a policeman ahead. Am I driving too fast? Am I properly in my lane? Did I just signal the lane change? Is there some other law that I’ve forgotten that I probably broke?

Same feelings of guilt and anxiety can occur in church. Ack, there’s the pastor coming. Did I give to the offering last week? Did I say something to someone that will come back at me? Did I do something wrong? Shoot, I missed two services last month.

Moses received 10 commandments from God. Before he died, he turned the 10 into many more. By the time of Jesus, generations of religious leaders continued to add to the 10. They needed lots of laws to “explain” the 10. A whole profession grew up–the scribes–to record and interpret all these laws. Pretty much like our courts and lawyers. But these were religious laws–all meant to show you how to get right with God.

Then Jesus came. He taught that the scribes and Pharisees used the laws to put a burden on people. These laws actually came between people and God–and put the scribes in a position of power over people.

So, in the Temple during Jesus’ last week, he and the scribes and religious leaders engaged in verbal sparring over theology. Finally one scribe asks, “What is the greatest commandment?” What is the one thing you should do above all else?

Jesus replies with the “shema”–“The first is, ‘Hear O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The scribe replied that Jesus was right. Jesus replied that the scribe was not far from the kingdom of God with his understanding.

Jesus says, when you’re feeling burdened, overwhelmed, anxious about meeting the obligations of the church, remember there are two basic things you need to do and the rest will take care of themselves. And remember, love is an action verb. It’s not an emotion. You love God by studying, communicating and witnessing. You love others by doing things to help them. If you are doing this, then there is nothing to worry about regarding your being right with God.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Living | Leave a Comment »

Praying with a closed fist

July 18, 2010

I’ve been looking at the story in Mark where Jesus cursed the fig tree then turned questions about it into teaching on prayer. As so often happens, when you think of something, things come into your life around that topic. Further, I choose what goes into my mind as much as possible. So, I never watch TV news, for instance. When I work out I listen to talks either about God (sermons from John Ortberg and Bill Hybels) or technology.

This week John Ortberg was speaking on prayer. He said, “It doesn’t work to come to God and have a closed fist.” Henri Nouwen wrote a wonder little book on prayer, “With Open Hands.” Same idea. You cannot be open to God if you are still grasping something–hiding something from God. Jesus said in this story that one thing that you could be grasping is hatred or anger toward another person. He said that before you can pray, you must give forgiveness to others.

I continue to observe religious people (who think they are spiritual, but that’s a different thing) build fences around themselves in order to separate the good from the bad. I was just thinking about the progression–in the 50s and 60s, the phrase was “I have a black friend;” then in the 70s, “I know a woman who is a good leader; now in the ‘oughts,’ “I know a homosexual person.” I have read the theology derived to say that in each case these people were less than human. So I wonder, what is my clenched fist? What is yours? Where do I find justifications for my attitudes? What is there within me that still builds a barrier between me and others? Jesus took it to that level–the level of your relationship to God and your relationship to other people. That’s all that matters.

Today, black people are mostly accepted into society despite some lingering racism. Women are now pastors and leaders despite some lingering sexism and weird interpretations of Paul’s writings. Homosexuals–well, the jury is still out.

But as for you, what are you holding tight to that interferes with an honest, open relationship with God?

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Ethics | Leave a Comment »

Get in the flow of the Spirit

June 26, 2010

People seem to like lists. And lists of rules. You probably grew up with them–after all that’s much of what school is about. Teachers make up rules. Students follow them. Teachers have a list of things students must learn, students follow them. We’ve probably all lived through this experience.

Think of the organizational problem confronting Moses when he led the Hebrews from Egypt. I don’t know how many people there were, but surely the size of a medium sized city today. They had no organization, maybe just some informal leaders from their days in Egypt. They were in a hostile land. They had to organize both civilly (judges, police, ward leaders, and so on) and religiously. After all this situation came about because these people were all descendants of Abraham. They belonged to the same tribe and were supposed to be following the God of Abraham. I suppose that even after all the years in Egypt, they still had tribal identity. No mention is made of priestly leadership, or if there were religious traditions handed down.

Moses was spiritual and talked with God. And God talked to Moses. And Moses listened. But what about the rest of the people? They were afraid to talk with God. Moses scared them because he talked with God. So, God gave Moses a list of rules beginning with the Ten Commandments to guide the people. No doubt God would have preferred that everyone talk with Him, but they were afraid.

We have stories of ancient people. But the stories seem modern as they describe humans. We still have people who talk with God and people who need rules. Trouble is there just can’t be a law that covers every little situation that you might run across. If there were, there would be so many that you couldn’t remember them anyway. Then, laws need lawyers to interpret them. And as you all remember from school, laws also separate people into groups according to which laws you break–or the kind of people that don’t break laws (at least not publicly). Comparison breeds the idea that some are better than others. I can point to someone else and compare.

But Jesus didn’t do that. He said we should live in relationship to God and then in relationship with others. The relationship with others is determined by our relationship with God. You don’t need a list of rules if your behavior is guided by the Spirit. When you are living with God, you just go with the flow of the Spirit and do the right thing. When something interferes with that flow (sin), then you can tell it. Those are the times you feel guilty or ashamed of the way you act.

So, get with the flow of the Spirit. Break the tyranny of rules. Jesus sets you free to live with God without worry.

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Christianity, Living | Leave a Comment »

It’s about relationship not rules

June 25, 2010

What’s legal? I’m a soccer referee and an instructor of the Laws of the Game. Once I was asked to give a presentation on the game and it’s laws to a high school team and their parents. It was a new program, and no one knew very much about the game other than you ran around and kicked a ball. As I explained fouls, they asked, “How far can I go before it’s a foul?” In other words, “What can I get away with?”

The Pharisees (lawyers, experts in the law), asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” There are two aspects to this question. First, they were like the advisory board of a graduate student which asks the student many questions to see if the student knows the material. Second, they wanted to know, “What can we get away with?”

Jesus replied that you should not get a divorce. That Moses only set up the law that made divorce legal because people were not open to living with God (I’m paraphrasing, of course, the text says “hearts were hardened). He’s calling them out as people who think they don’t need God. Once upon a time, God spoke to Moses. From Moses descended a tradition that tried to make a law or rule that covered every aspect of your life. And if you followed those rules to the letter, then you were living a Godly life. And, if by chance–or planning, you were able to come out better for yourself, then so much the better.

When I teach this passage to people even today with certain personal tendencies to like rules, they immediately say that Jesus promulgated a new rule. You can’t divorce–period. But they forget, Jesus didn’t come to set rules. He said that. There are really only two–you are to love God and love your neighbor. These are relationship rules.

Let’s go back to what he said the reason for the rule was–the people’s hearts were hard. They couldn’t live in relationship with God. They were like small children still being trained by the father. Jesus brought an adult message. Grow up. Develop a deep relationship with God. Then develop a God-like behavior and attitude toward other people. If you have such a relationship, you don’t need the rules. You’ll do what’s right naturally.

I’m sure Jesus would love the woman who is being physically abused by her husband. If he were present, he’d heal the husband of the devils within him that drive him to be abusive. Otherwise, if she needs to escape to protect herself and her children, I can’t believe that Jesus would condemn her. Or for the man whose wife runs away. But in the ways of this world (almost globally, not just in the US) where marriage is selfish and not a committed relationship–I’m sure Jesus weeps over that rejection of God.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Living | Leave a Comment »

Believe in Christmas

December 21, 2009

Spent last week trying to get the January issue of my magazine out (my paying day job). Finished up Friday afternoon late after pounding out about 5,000 words including a 3,500 word feature article that day. Of course, I had hours of research and interviews done before I started writing. The fact that it was Christmas season (Advent to you traditionalists 😉 really never sank in. Now I’m in planning and catch up mode again. And I can let Christmas sink in.

But…do you find this a sort of contradictory time? How were you brought up? Lots of gifts from Santa? For most of us it isn’t a “church” day where you gather with your faith family and worship. So it’s more of a good time with/for kids who open (probably way too many) gifts. I’m not grinch, but I think this has gotten way too overboard. It’s too hard to remember what we’re celebrating.

My wife got out all her Christmas-themed dishes, plates, mugs and the like a couple of weeks ago. Today, as is my custom, I brewed a cup of French Roast coffee, and sat down in my study to read from my current spiritual book (“The Cloud of Unknowing”). Then I looked at the mug–no, really looked. It said “Believe..in Christmas.” The picture on the mug–no you guessed wrong–was of Santa. Wait a minute. Just what are we believing?

Without going into the meaning of “belief”, let’s just look at the sentiment. If I believe in a God who seeks us out (prevenient grace that I was just discussing) and who got perturbed enough with those who were especially called to recognize that and develop a relationship and who then took extraordinary measures to really seek us out, then what I’m trying to “believe” about Christmas is that I need to also seek out this Jesus so that I can have that eternal relationship.

I’m giving you a gift because I love (agape) you. In so doing, I’m trying to reflect the love (agape) of God. In fact, it is only through love that we can know God. I just heard this morning that the people of the Willow Creek Church in South Barrington, IL gave 10,700 coats to a drive to keep poor kids warm this winter. That’s an agape gift. If I also give a gift to my wife, children and grandchildren in the spirit of agape, then that’s great. If I just feel some strange need to be loved or appreciated by giving lots of stuff, then there’s a problem.

Believe in Christmas? No, I know Christmas. And I hope all my gifts have nothing to do with making me feel better or make me feel greater, but that they all just reflect God’s love.

Tags:,
Posted in Christianity, Living | Leave a Comment »

Newer Entries »