Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

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No Freedom Without Constraints

November 13, 2010

I was listening to, of all things, a podcast of a speech on computer programming. The speaker brought in illustrations from literature, among other things. The basic point was that you have freedom to create only when you are focused by constraints. You have freedom to creatively express your thoughts once you choose a form–for example, writing in haiku or sonnet forms comprises a constraint, but it also frees your mind to express your thought.

Adolescents are fond of trying out the idea of freedom of action without constraints. When I observe people, I sometimes think that there are way too many adults who have not progressed beyond those adolescent urges. Too many choices leads to chaos, while narrowing your options leads to freedom.

God is wise in these matters. Once again, the adolescent mind says, “I should be free to do whatever I want. There should be no constraints on my thoughts and actions.” But God says, “If you live within the constraints that I have established for a good and fruitful life, then you will truly achieve freedom and life.” It’s a little like a paradox.

You have to experience it for yourself in order to understand the truth. But subduing your emotional reactions to events and your adolescent urges to satisfy every sensual desire, enables a life with God where you are free to change your life and the lives of those you meet.

If you live a life in nature, you will be tossed from emotion to emotion, desire to another unfulfilled desire. But if you live a life in the Spirit, then you bring focus and attention to your life and you are free to live a fulfilled life of peace, joy and service.

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Strive not for talk but for virtue

November 11, 2010

The political season is over (albeit briefly) in the United States. That is always an exhausting season for people emotionally. Every media if stuffed with candidates and pundits striving to reach a message that stirs your basest emotions so that you’ll hate the other guy and vote for him/her. As much as analysts have discussed for at least 40 years the changes that will be wrought in politics and business if we just have more women  involved, I have yet to see any difference in actuality.

Interesting that Thomas a Kempis puts these words in a dialogue between Jesus and the disciple, “For the kingdom of heaven consists not in talk but in virtue. Attend, rather, to My words which enkindle the heart and enlighten the mind, wich excite contrition and abound in manifold consolations. Never read them for the purpose of appearing more learned or more wise. Apply yourself to [subduing] your vices, for this will benefit you more than your understanding of many difficult questions.”

It’s not what we say as much as what we do. People watch you. Kids will mimic your actions, not your words. The old phrase, “Actions speak louder than words” speaks to this. If you say one thing and do another, people will believe what you do–not what you say.

If you talk about your relationship with God, yet do not practice virtue, who will believe you? If you have memorized vast amounts of the text of the Bible and do not act differently from how you acted before, who will listen to you? And in the end, what will it benefit you with God? Go out this morning and look for the first opportunity to help someone. That will start the day off right.

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Give Up Desires Find Rest

October 30, 2010

Tomorrow is Halloween (I’m not sure in how many countries, but certainly here). As strange as it may sound, this holiday has become the new starting point for the Christmas gift rush. We have had a day for years called “Black Friday,” which is the day after Thanksgiving in late November. That was the traditional starting point for Christmas shopping. Called black in reference to the accounting ledger where black is positive and red is negative. Retailers would make or break their year on that day. Now I’m seeing newspaper articles (probably planted by PR people from retailers) about a new Black Friday as Halloween.

Part of my reading today in Thomas a Kempis was this phrase–give up your desires and gain rest. I know that for the next two months we are going to be facing a barrage of advertising designed very carefully by people trained to tap into various desires of human beings. We will suddenly find ourselves wishing we had this or that trinket, gadget or huge gift. The day before we didn’t even know it existed.

I spent a lifetime studying and contemplating freedom. Is it living without constraint? Many people think so. And act is if there are no constraints on their lives. But are we aware of all the constraints that are often hidden within us? The Desert Fathers, early Christian contemplatives who studied these things most deeply, defined an entire hierarchy of constraints within us that we may not even realize. Desire is one. Will you live the next two months as a slave to your emotions and desires which are whipped into a frenzy by advertising geniuses? Or can you step back and recognize these for what they are and retain your focus on your with-God life?

That is where you find freedom–and rest.

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Why worry what others say

October 29, 2010

I often find myself in small groups or conversations where people want to talk about other people. What they said, what they meant, will they go to heaven, what’s wrong with them in the smallest, goriest detail, and on and on. I have no problem praying for others–do it all the time, well, er, at least often. But where does concern end and gossip begin? Where does idly worrying about others end and loss of focus on my own life begin?

Thomas a Kempis, writing in The Imitation of Christ, says, “Do not trouble yourself with idle cares. What matters this or that to you? Follow Me. What is it to you if a man is such and such, if another does or says this or that? You will not have to answer for others, but you will have to give an account of yourself. Why, then, do you meddle in their affairs?”

My last post talked about paying attention to others. When you meet someone, listen to them, listen to their name, observe their features and attitudes. Care for them and listen. But then don’t go away and talk about them to everyone who will listen. And worry over a comment they may have made. Don’t interfere with your own salvation and walk with God.

Your focus must be on the present. What matters is what you and God are doing now. Don’t worry about the past or the future. Don’t worry about what others say or think. When you’re with them, love them. Don’t obsess over them.

 

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Listen, Observe, Care about others

October 28, 2010

Jerry Lucas brought his traveling memory show to Sidney, Ohio this week. He has a calling from God to develop his techniques for memorization to change and improve education of people. One session dealt with remembering people. Lucas’ unique contribution is to turn everything you need to remember into pictures based on the theory that you remember tangible objects better than concepts.

However, his system has a few basic components apart from the memory aid. These are things you should be doing anyway. First, listen. The famous baseball figure/philosopher Yogi Berra once said (so the story goes), “You can hear a lot just by listening.” Where is your mind when you meet someone and you are given their name? Is your mind on them, your attention focused on them? Or is your attention more on what you are going to say to them? So, first pay attention to the person you are meeting. Listen as they say their name.

Next, observe. What do they look like? Notice unique things about appearance or facial characteristics. In other words, pay attention to them.

The thing is, Lucas works very hard at remembering. He puts a lot of energy into it. He has a list of people that he needs to remember. He reviews the list, which by the way has notes on appearance, the picture he formed to remember them and other notes. That’s not a bad idea. You might think it’s a lot of work, but only the setting up of the list is hard. The reviewing only takes a few minutes a day/week. I have over 2,700 names in my contact database. I don’t do the picture thing that Lucas developed. But I review the entire database periodically. Some I’ve never met, but if I have, I try to picture them. That way I remember.

While I was thinking about this process, I started to reflect on the example of Jesus. He had the ability to focus on the person, even when they interrupted him while he was on the way to do something else. He could take in everything about a person. How do you think he did that? By giving complete attention to the person he was with. That’s a good example to follow.

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Free or Responsible Speech

October 23, 2010

In the U.S., there is a legal case pending before the U.S. Supreme Court on the First Amendment right of free speech. I don’t know many details–but it has something to do with a group of people who say they are Christians who are upset with something, so they chose to generate publicity for their cause by protesting outside funerals of  U.S. soldiers who had been killed in Iraq or Afganistan. The legal case involves the group’s first amendment right of speech versus the families’ fourth amendment right to privacy.

I’m not commenting on that–exactly. But I’d like to take a teaching from my new best friend, James. I think he would agree with me (although they didn’t have many of these legal “rights” in his day) that just because you have the right to do something doesn’t mean you should do it. The word “responsibility” creeps in here. You need to combine doing things with responsibility. I guess when we protested for civil rights and against the war in VietNam in the 60s, we didn’t dream to what extent that idea would spread. Now we have protests arranged mostly to generate publicity all over the place. (Another good reason to turn off TV news.)

James told us to watch our tongues, because that is one organ that can surely send us to hell. He also said just after his teaching on the tongue that wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.

I think that list is one we should compare ourselves to. When is our speech not up to God’s standards of wisdom? How can we bring ourselves back to these attributes? Remember this list. Watch for when you stray. Then revisit the list and bring yourself back into God’s way.

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Doing for others, doing for Jesus

October 16, 2010

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about living a life with God. This was started by peering into the attitudes of people who claim Christ as their leader, but their actions appear anything but Christlike by exhibiting hate, malice, arrogance and the like.

Bill Hybels, founder and senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Ill, has been speaking on Matthew 25:31-45. This is part of Jesus’ final teachings as he prepares his followers for life on their own without his physical presence with them. He taught on watchfulness and using your talents wisely. Now he discusses how God will judge you at your resurrection.

Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me… Just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.

Salvation is a gift of God’s grace. Our first act is to acknowledge God and ask to partake of that gift. But God expects much of us. Not to just sit still in his grace and condemn others. He expects us to get off our butts and bring love and grace to those whom we meet.

As I typed these words, I realized that there are some who like to separate themselves from others. They might narrowly define what Jesus means by “members of my family.” But the Old Testament and New Testament are united in stating that God’s desire is for all humanity to know him. Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan precisely to show that we must think beyond the boundaries of our tribe.

These words also challenge me. I give money. I give time. I try to serve others where I am. But is it enough? Am I squandering the talents God gave me? How about you?

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Speak Evil of Others

October 4, 2010

In yesterday’s class that I teach, we were looking at James where he says (after the teaching on curbing your tongue), “Do not speak evil of others.” Someone said, “But can you only speak evil about people you know?”

I’m not sure what she meant by that. Could it be that speaking of people you don’t know doesn’t count? I’m not sure. But I answered that it is easier to speak evil of others, precisely because you don’t know them. Although I’ve lived long enough to hear plenty of judging, put-downs, gossip, derogatory comments and the like directed at people the speaker does know.

But the Internet, email and the Web give us instant communications. We can connect with more people more rapidly with more misinformation than at any previous time in history. Therefore the hate emails that get blithely spread from so-called Christians full of untruths and exaggerations passed off as fact designed to get your emotions aroused against certain groups–usually gays or Muslims these days, but could be directed at anyone.

James had an answer to this human condition. It was to tame your tongue. Speak out of mercy, peace, truth, gentle without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. I certainly have long tried to live up to this Christian ideal. I wish I could say I always succeeded.

God, I tame my tongue, help me when I fail.

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Rush to Judge Others

September 27, 2010

We live in a time, I don’t know, maybe like other times in human history, where people are so quick to judge others. I know Christians who perfectly know the mind of God and can point out exactly who is going to heaven and who isn’t. Of course, for them, the game played is about heaven. I’ll never forget a Mad Magazine cartoon from when I was a kid that talked about the first preacher who moved to Hartford, Conn. (then the capitol of the insurance industry) and sold “fire insurance.”

The book I’m currently studying is “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas a Kempis. This contemplative from the Middle Ages wrote, “If a man would weigh his own deeds fully and rightly, he would find little cause to pass severe judgment on others.” These certainly reflect the voice of Jesus–speck in someone else’s eye, log in yours; he who is without sin cast the first stone.

If you spent more time in your morning prayers reflecting upon where you fall short and asking God for help, you would approach the day with an entirely different attitude than when you, like the Pharisee, begin the day with the prayer, “Thank you God for making me perfect.” When you look inside yourself and see the sin that lurks in both things you do and things you are capable of, you’ll understand why relationship with God through Jesus is key to salvation–not so much from the future hell but from the hell of today.

Why live bitter, resentful, judgmental? Why not live free to love God and love other humans? Throw off the chains of your limited, fearful view of God and enter into relationship with Him.

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Open Eyes to Dynamics of Life

September 25, 2010

Sorry not to post for a while. I had a thigh muscle pull bad enough to land me for an overnight stay in the hospital followed by a couple of weeks on a narcotic pain killer. While I realize there exists a minor literary tradition of writing on spiritual topics while on drugs, that’s not my style. On top of that, I had a magazine to get out (no rest when you publish monthly), a special project newspaper for a conference coming up next week, and then my long-time boss, mentor and friend passed away last Wednesday. It’s been a month that tries my balance, to say the least.

But a couple of weeks on your back give you time to contemplate. At the same time my wife was reading some of those hate emails that circulate the Internet. Me, I just delete unopened. She? She reads every one, to the bottom, then gets upset. I tell her that a good way to maintain emotional and intellectual balance is to pare out things from your life that unnecessarily cause distress. (There are life events, of course, that confront you that must be met, but that’s another matter.)

Back to my wife’s reading and the subject of my last post–like many people my age, I started meditating in the late 60s. I’ve explored paths, had experiences. I combine practice with reading. The thing that has consistently amazed me during my reading the ancient spiritual masters for 40 years is that they write very little about prayer or meditation techniques. They write about the person. Where do all the passions originate? How do you overcome them? How do you live your life? It’s not a method or a word to memorize. It’s all about how you live, where you focus.

So, I deal with many Christians who have memorized a few verses from the Bible. Some of them, though, when I observe how they live, how they interact with others, what their attitude toward others is, I wonder.

Allow me a metaphor. I am a soccer referee and instructor of referees. I’ve noticed two types of referees. One type is “book smart.” They are dissatisfied with anything less than 95% on any test we give. They know every law or rule and every interpretation–in their head. But, put them on the pitch (field) to actually do refereeing, they fail at any tough contest. Like life, soccer is a dynamic game. It has flows of activity. There are many nuances. Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective or flow of the game that determines what is a foul and what is called. A good referee at this higher level knows the written laws thoroughly. That is only the start. The key to success is to develop a feel for the game, relate to the players, move the game along within the boundaries.

Some Christian traditions have developed a formula: accept Christ + read Bible + attend church religiously = go to heaven. Oh, by the way, judge other people based upon what you’ve read and whether they agree with you. It’s the “know the law” type of religion. Sounds a little like the Pharisees to me.

There is another way, much more ancient than that, which says something like, recognize Jesus, develop a living relationship with God through Jesus, read the Bible to deepen your knowledge and follow the two commandments Jesus gave us–love God, love people. (Love as an action verb, not an emotion.) That’s my tradition. I wish I could do it as well as I can say it.

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