Posts Tagged ‘Ethics’

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Loving the Giver More Than the Gift

October 9, 2010

Does it seem as though people are obsessed with getting stuff. We are living in a time where the general culture seems to be one of “it’s all about me,” or “what’s in it for me,” or “I need more stuff.” Many people I meet through business seem to be this way. But also many church people, Christians, seem to be more focused on themselves than others.

I don’t think this is a recent phenomenon. The Bible records many stories of selfishness and greed. Writing in the Middle Ages, Thomas a Kempis says, “The wise lover regards not so much the gift of Him Who loves as the love of Him Who gives.”

Love is an attitude. That attitude more highly regards the love of a person or of God who gives us a gift than the gift itself. We ought to rejoice that someone thinks enough of us to give us something rather than focus on the gift. Maybe someone you love gives you something that is less than what you expected. Do you pout because you wanted more? Or do you rejoice that they thought of you at all?

This is one part of love that Christians should be displaying. My prayer is that those who have not yet overcome the human emotions of selfishness, greed and hate will eventually be overcome with love for God, the Giver, and for people, His creation.

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Rush to Judge Others

September 27, 2010

We live in a time, I don’t know, maybe like other times in human history, where people are so quick to judge others. I know Christians who perfectly know the mind of God and can point out exactly who is going to heaven and who isn’t. Of course, for them, the game played is about heaven. I’ll never forget a Mad Magazine cartoon from when I was a kid that talked about the first preacher who moved to Hartford, Conn. (then the capitol of the insurance industry) and sold “fire insurance.”

The book I’m currently studying is “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas a Kempis. This contemplative from the Middle Ages wrote, “If a man would weigh his own deeds fully and rightly, he would find little cause to pass severe judgment on others.” These certainly reflect the voice of Jesus–speck in someone else’s eye, log in yours; he who is without sin cast the first stone.

If you spent more time in your morning prayers reflecting upon where you fall short and asking God for help, you would approach the day with an entirely different attitude than when you, like the Pharisee, begin the day with the prayer, “Thank you God for making me perfect.” When you look inside yourself and see the sin that lurks in both things you do and things you are capable of, you’ll understand why relationship with God through Jesus is key to salvation–not so much from the future hell but from the hell of today.

Why live bitter, resentful, judgmental? Why not live free to love God and love other humans? Throw off the chains of your limited, fearful view of God and enter into relationship with Him.

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How to handle obnoxious Christians-or anyone

September 10, 2010

Ever notice that sometimes when you’re going in too many directions and barely keeping your nose above the metaphorical water your body, tired of being ignored shouts, “Stop!” ? I’ve pondered my next post on this blog from many angles. In the evening of 8/31 as I prepared for a quick drive up to Cleveland for a meeting. Then from the perspective of laying on my back on the garage floor Wednesday morning 9/1 when the muscles in my left leg told me rather forcefully “you ain’t going nowhere, buddy”. Then I received one of those dreaded calls that one of my friends was about to die from cancer.

Even I could finally stop the frantic space and just rest a little. Even in the early morning pain when the pills haven’t done their job and I can’t sleep. Slow down, breathe deeply, focus — on God.

I’m contemplating attitude. What’s my attitude about life right now? How do I approach small setbacks? Then news started hitting. Pastor of a small church in Florida (I think) decides it’s a great time for a publicity stunt. He’ll burn a pile of books he doesn’t like and generate a lot of attention (I think that idea was tried in the late 30s and early 40s in Europe–didn’t work too well). Well, he got a lot of attention, but problem in a connected world is that one small-time opportunist can create havoc for thousands. He literally could fan the flames of hatred and put the lives of thousands of Americans in danger half-way across the world. Is it time for growing responsibility? Or are we headed toward another era of hatred and warfare such as the Nazis incited?

Problem is, the guy claims to be a Christian (I leave the judging to a higher authority). So how do you deal with an obnoxious Christian? Well, how do you deal with an enemy? With love, right? So…

Jon Swanson is one of the best writers I read on these subjects. Try this on for size.

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Spiritual Fitness and Endurance

August 29, 2010

I have refereed soccer for over 20 years. Along the way, I’ve been privileged to work some pretty high-level games. In order to be successful, I had to continually train my body and my mind. Part of training the body is to have the endurance to still be running at the end of the match along with the players and not be so tired that you begin to make poor decisions (mind).

People ask me about the spiritual life. Is it one burst of enlightenment? Or, is it believing in a set of words? Baptists (among others) emphasize the importance of decision. Some think that once you make the decision for Christ, then you’re pretty much done. Nothing else to do.

The answer to all of that is pretty much “no” or “there’s more.” Paul often uses the metaphor of athletic training when speaking of the spiritual life. Just as it is necessary to train your body and mind to be fit to be a soccer referee, you must train your body and mind to be fit for the spiritual life. How do you train? You train your mind by study–study the Bible; study scholars who study the Bible and help explain terms the original languages and the like; study writings from spiritual masters; and, most of all think abut what you’re reading. You train your body by working to avoid sins of the body–sexual, alcohol abuse, and the like. You also train through the discipline of prayer.

James makes a similar teaching at the beginning of his pastoral letter–you gain endurance by living through trials.

Once you decide for Jesus, the spiritual life begins in earnest. Begin training now.

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Following the Law

July 23, 2010

You are driving. Ack, there’s a policeman ahead. Am I driving too fast? Am I properly in my lane? Did I just signal the lane change? Is there some other law that I’ve forgotten that I probably broke?

Same feelings of guilt and anxiety can occur in church. Ack, there’s the pastor coming. Did I give to the offering last week? Did I say something to someone that will come back at me? Did I do something wrong? Shoot, I missed two services last month.

Moses received 10 commandments from God. Before he died, he turned the 10 into many more. By the time of Jesus, generations of religious leaders continued to add to the 10. They needed lots of laws to “explain” the 10. A whole profession grew up–the scribes–to record and interpret all these laws. Pretty much like our courts and lawyers. But these were religious laws–all meant to show you how to get right with God.

Then Jesus came. He taught that the scribes and Pharisees used the laws to put a burden on people. These laws actually came between people and God–and put the scribes in a position of power over people.

So, in the Temple during Jesus’ last week, he and the scribes and religious leaders engaged in verbal sparring over theology. Finally one scribe asks, “What is the greatest commandment?” What is the one thing you should do above all else?

Jesus replies with the “shema”–“The first is, ‘Hear O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The scribe replied that Jesus was right. Jesus replied that the scribe was not far from the kingdom of God with his understanding.

Jesus says, when you’re feeling burdened, overwhelmed, anxious about meeting the obligations of the church, remember there are two basic things you need to do and the rest will take care of themselves. And remember, love is an action verb. It’s not an emotion. You love God by studying, communicating and witnessing. You love others by doing things to help them. If you are doing this, then there is nothing to worry about regarding your being right with God.

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Learning or Living

July 21, 2010

The United States is not unique in world history in placing its youth in a competitive atmosphere in learning. We’ve just tried (with mixed results) to extend it to all youth, not just those in either privileged classes or who show interest and potential for learning. So, after 13 years of constant comparison with our peers relative to learning, we are guided to think that learning (intellectual development) is the highest goal of life.

True, you do need to know certain things. To be completely ignorant is not a path to God. However, Thomas a Kempis rightly says, “Indeed, it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God.”

I’ve been studying Mark for the past several months. I much prefer the Gospels to Paul’s letters. Paul is so culturally bound and focused on how to organize the new movement that he is often hard to understand. Jesus, on the other hand, although enigmatic at times, points us to how to live.

Learning  is easy compared to living a holy life minute by minute. It’s not only what you know but what you do with it.

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Praying with a closed fist

July 18, 2010

I’ve been looking at the story in Mark where Jesus cursed the fig tree then turned questions about it into teaching on prayer. As so often happens, when you think of something, things come into your life around that topic. Further, I choose what goes into my mind as much as possible. So, I never watch TV news, for instance. When I work out I listen to talks either about God (sermons from John Ortberg and Bill Hybels) or technology.

This week John Ortberg was speaking on prayer. He said, “It doesn’t work to come to God and have a closed fist.” Henri Nouwen wrote a wonder little book on prayer, “With Open Hands.” Same idea. You cannot be open to God if you are still grasping something–hiding something from God. Jesus said in this story that one thing that you could be grasping is hatred or anger toward another person. He said that before you can pray, you must give forgiveness to others.

I continue to observe religious people (who think they are spiritual, but that’s a different thing) build fences around themselves in order to separate the good from the bad. I was just thinking about the progression–in the 50s and 60s, the phrase was “I have a black friend;” then in the 70s, “I know a woman who is a good leader; now in the ‘oughts,’ “I know a homosexual person.” I have read the theology derived to say that in each case these people were less than human. So I wonder, what is my clenched fist? What is yours? Where do I find justifications for my attitudes? What is there within me that still builds a barrier between me and others? Jesus took it to that level–the level of your relationship to God and your relationship to other people. That’s all that matters.

Today, black people are mostly accepted into society despite some lingering racism. Women are now pastors and leaders despite some lingering sexism and weird interpretations of Paul’s writings. Homosexuals–well, the jury is still out.

But as for you, what are you holding tight to that interferes with an honest, open relationship with God?

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Why do we villify people

February 1, 2010

I’ve been thinking on this subject for many weeks when I ran across this blog from marketer Seth Godin. The bitterness of the local school levy was filled with high emotion, low fact and much, much vilification (making the opponents out to be villains). People are not necessarily evil just because they disagree with you. After several defeats, it finally passed last November–by one vote. It is almost three months after the election and people still are writing letters to the editor about the rich people in their luxurious homes foisting off higher taxes on the poor and elderly. Some even argue against their own economic well being. (One of the most vocal opponents to the levy is a rental unit owner. If the levy never passed, the schools would face massive cuts to state minimum standards, reducing to a very low number people looking to move here, reducing property values, therefore reducing the potential customer base for his rentals and the value of his wealth in real estate. Oh, if life were only logical.)

Godin ponders this psychology in his blog The False Solace of Vilification. Here is a sample:

A flood hits a town and innocent people die and buildings are destroyed. The widows and bereaved families take it out on the insurance adjuster or government official who has come to help.

The economic downturn hits a town hard and some residents attack, quite personally, the hard-working school board members who had nothing to do with the bad news and in fact represent one of the best ways to ultimately recover.

In each case, the person being hated on is precisely the person who can do the most to help. And yet sometimes, we can’t help ourselves. It takes significant emotional maturity to separate the event from the people in proximity to the event, and any marketer or organization that deals with the public needs to embrace the fact that just because you’re close to where the bad thing happened doesn’t mean it’s your fault.

Emotional maturity. Something I’ve been trying to attain for a very long time. Just when I think I’ve achieved balance, something happens and I explode. Fortunately that’s only once every other year or so anymore. But I’m sure we all need to strive for it. I once was in a training session for managers where the instructor put up one of those famous 2×2 matrices. The two axes were good/poor feel for people and good/poor emotional maturity. Research was done which showed that positive reviews of managers by “subordinates” centered around emotional maturity regardless of “feel for people.”

The next time you’re delayed at the airport because of bad weather, don’t take it out on the gate agent. That person has no control and sometimes knows less than you. However, that person can be your best friend in finding another flight. I’ve seen where one didn’t help the person in front of me who had launched a tirade. But I stepped up with a smile and said something like “tough day, isn’t it?” She got me on another flight, and I got home at a reasonable time. My goal–be that way in all my dealings with people.

The more I study the Bible and writings by ancient philosophers (and some more modern ones such as Emerson), the more I realize that the real message is about how to live. What will you do tomorrow when you first meet someone? How will you act? What will you do when you get up? What will you say? How will you act? Will you “live with God” or will you drift along with your emotions?

It’s a journey we’re on. It’s tough. Live with God to get the most out of it.

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Be a person of influence

January 18, 2010

This is Martin Luther King day, and I’m sure that yesterday pulpits of predominately white churches were filled by persons of color (as they say today) reminding attendees of the vision and legacy of Dr. King. What a shame that 40 years later, we’re still struggling with prejudice. Actually, there have been great strides made in American (and others) society regarding opportunity and justice.

The speaker I heard yesterday spoke of when Jesus and his disciples chanced upon a blind man who was probably identifiable as a “philosopher”–probably from the Greek tradition and someone most likely not identified as “spiritual.” When the man called out for mercy, the disciples, seeing he was not one of them, told him to be quiet. Jesus, seeing that he was a human being with a soul longing for healing, healed the man. One group was “prejudiced” by the outward person–he’s not one of us. Jesus was “prejudiced” (that is, has a preconceived opinion about a person or group) in quite the other direction. He was predisposed to think of people as sinners in need of healing and saving no matter what group, actions, lifestyle, etc.

This talk reminded me of this blog from Liz Strauss about a person of influence–words from a song (No Secrets) by Carly Simon. Talks about a way of life that we all should be living. Toward everyone we meet.

His friends are more than fond of Robin

He doesn’t need to compliment them

And always as he leaves he leaves them

Feeling proud just to know him … — His Friends Are More Than Fond of Robin

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Leadership Summit

August 10, 2009

I’ve been off the proverbial grid for most of the past two weeks. Two of those days were invested in the Willow Creek Association Leadership Summit. These were intense days of high profile leaders and scholars speaking on a variety of subjects applicable to both church leaders and business (and NGO) leaders as well. Considering I used Marriott points from my business travels, the $99 I paid (discounted because of an affiliation with Compassion International) plus meals and the drive to and from Chicago generated huge return on investment.

As I break down my notes and compile themes, I’ll have a series of posts reflecting on the teaching. From a personal leadership view, Bill Hybels talked about starting his day off right. Instead of being in a rush to be the first one in the office every day, he invests the time in reading (the Bible and thoughtful literature), meditating and journaling. Now when he arrives at the office, he’s refreshed and ready to tackle the meetings and tasks of running a huge operation.

I’ve written on the impact the study of Luke 12 has had on me, and I’m obviously not alone. Many speakers cited the stories–especially of the “Prodigal Son.” Jesus tells the three stories gathered in that chapter to illustrate who is a neighbor when he says the second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Much of the teaching of the summit for church leaders pointed to examples of how people of faith are responding to this commandment.

As Hybels put it in his opening remarks, there is nothing like the local church when the church is doing it right. In these stormy economic times when people are losing jobs and even their houses, he challenged his members who are still working to be generous to their brothers and sisters. The response was overwhelming.

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