Listen, Observe, Care about others

October 28, 2010

Jerry Lucas brought his traveling memory show to Sidney, Ohio this week. He has a calling from God to develop his techniques for memorization to change and improve education of people. One session dealt with remembering people. Lucas’ unique contribution is to turn everything you need to remember into pictures based on the theory that you remember tangible objects better than concepts.

However, his system has a few basic components apart from the memory aid. These are things you should be doing anyway. First, listen. The famous baseball figure/philosopher Yogi Berra once said (so the story goes), “You can hear a lot just by listening.” Where is your mind when you meet someone and you are given their name? Is your mind on them, your attention focused on them? Or is your attention more on what you are going to say to them? So, first pay attention to the person you are meeting. Listen as they say their name.

Next, observe. What do they look like? Notice unique things about appearance or facial characteristics. In other words, pay attention to them.

The thing is, Lucas works very hard at remembering. He puts a lot of energy into it. He has a list of people that he needs to remember. He reviews the list, which by the way has notes on appearance, the picture he formed to remember them and other notes. That’s not a bad idea. You might think it’s a lot of work, but only the setting up of the list is hard. The reviewing only takes a few minutes a day/week. I have over 2,700 names in my contact database. I don’t do the picture thing that Lucas developed. But I review the entire database periodically. Some I’ve never met, but if I have, I try to picture them. That way I remember.

While I was thinking about this process, I started to reflect on the example of Jesus. He had the ability to focus on the person, even when they interrupted him while he was on the way to do something else. He could take in everything about a person. How do you think he did that? By giving complete attention to the person he was with. That’s a good example to follow.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Living | 3 Comments »

Free or Responsible Speech

October 23, 2010

In the U.S., there is a legal case pending before the U.S. Supreme Court on the First Amendment right of free speech. I don’t know many details–but it has something to do with a group of people who say they are Christians who are upset with something, so they chose to generate publicity for their cause by protesting outside funerals of  U.S. soldiers who had been killed in Iraq or Afganistan. The legal case involves the group’s first amendment right of speech versus the families’ fourth amendment right to privacy.

I’m not commenting on that–exactly. But I’d like to take a teaching from my new best friend, James. I think he would agree with me (although they didn’t have many of these legal “rights” in his day) that just because you have the right to do something doesn’t mean you should do it. The word “responsibility” creeps in here. You need to combine doing things with responsibility. I guess when we protested for civil rights and against the war in VietNam in the 60s, we didn’t dream to what extent that idea would spread. Now we have protests arranged mostly to generate publicity all over the place. (Another good reason to turn off TV news.)

James told us to watch our tongues, because that is one organ that can surely send us to hell. He also said just after his teaching on the tongue that wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.

I think that list is one we should compare ourselves to. When is our speech not up to God’s standards of wisdom? How can we bring ourselves back to these attributes? Remember this list. Watch for when you stray. Then revisit the list and bring yourself back into God’s way.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Ethics | Leave a Comment »

Doing for others, doing for Jesus

October 16, 2010

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about living a life with God. This was started by peering into the attitudes of people who claim Christ as their leader, but their actions appear anything but Christlike by exhibiting hate, malice, arrogance and the like.

Bill Hybels, founder and senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Ill, has been speaking on Matthew 25:31-45. This is part of Jesus’ final teachings as he prepares his followers for life on their own without his physical presence with them. He taught on watchfulness and using your talents wisely. Now he discusses how God will judge you at your resurrection.

Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me… Just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.

Salvation is a gift of God’s grace. Our first act is to acknowledge God and ask to partake of that gift. But God expects much of us. Not to just sit still in his grace and condemn others. He expects us to get off our butts and bring love and grace to those whom we meet.

As I typed these words, I realized that there are some who like to separate themselves from others. They might narrowly define what Jesus means by “members of my family.” But the Old Testament and New Testament are united in stating that God’s desire is for all humanity to know him. Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan precisely to show that we must think beyond the boundaries of our tribe.

These words also challenge me. I give money. I give time. I try to serve others where I am. But is it enough? Am I squandering the talents God gave me? How about you?

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Living | Leave a Comment »

Loving the Giver More Than the Gift

October 9, 2010

Does it seem as though people are obsessed with getting stuff. We are living in a time where the general culture seems to be one of “it’s all about me,” or “what’s in it for me,” or “I need more stuff.” Many people I meet through business seem to be this way. But also many church people, Christians, seem to be more focused on themselves than others.

I don’t think this is a recent phenomenon. The Bible records many stories of selfishness and greed. Writing in the Middle Ages, Thomas a Kempis says, “The wise lover regards not so much the gift of Him Who loves as the love of Him Who gives.”

Love is an attitude. That attitude more highly regards the love of a person or of God who gives us a gift than the gift itself. We ought to rejoice that someone thinks enough of us to give us something rather than focus on the gift. Maybe someone you love gives you something that is less than what you expected. Do you pout because you wanted more? Or do you rejoice that they thought of you at all?

This is one part of love that Christians should be displaying. My prayer is that those who have not yet overcome the human emotions of selfishness, greed and hate will eventually be overcome with love for God, the Giver, and for people, His creation.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Christianity | Leave a Comment »

Judge or Judge Not – God Knows

October 7, 2010

American society currently, at least the vocal part, seems to be in a rush to judgment. So many people want to sit on the Lord’s throne and make pronouncements as to the worth or salvation of everyone–well, everyone except themselves and maybe their friends. This may be true to a small extent in other societies, too.

Reading James’ pastoral letter, he warns us not to judge others. That is God’s job. Every time this verse comes up for discussion in one of my small groups, we have one guy who always speaks up and says, “I don’t agree. We have to judge others.” To which I always reply, “There’s judging and then there’s judging.”

I think James is saying, do not take upon yourself to be the final judge–the person you meet at the end of your life who either says “Welcome, good and faithful servant,” or says, “Depart from me,” and casts you into Hell. In English we can use the same word for making a decision in a legal sense and for discerning the goodness or correctness of other people.

This latter interpretation is a necessity for everyday life. You must evaluate everyone you meet with whom you may have some interaction and decide (judge) whether you should believe them or not. If someone comes to you and says “I have discovered the exact time of the end of the world,” you could apply your knowledge of the Bible where Jesus says, “No one knows the time, not even the Son.” Based on this, you would make the judgment not to believe this person.

Now my friend in the small group may border into the group of Christians with whom I have the most trouble with–those who think they have discovered the Truth through one Bible verse and proceed to sit in final judgment (or so they think) on the salvation of others. Even others whom they have never met, and so cannot even begin to look into their souls and their lives to see if they are upright and walking with God. I cannot bear that burden. I cannot be that presumptuous. I can discern others and choose whom to believe and whom to befriend. But I’m content to let God do His work in that regard. The only thing I can do is use my talents to show Him to others. That’s probably the best attitude for you, too.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Christianity | Leave a Comment »

Find God In Stillness

October 6, 2010

“Can’t you sit still?” “Be quiet.”

Did you grow up listening to that music? Even as adults, we have trouble being still. At those times where we do have an opportunity to sit in a quiet room, our thoughts are racing at hyperspeed. When we think we are praying, we just have words tumble all over themselves.  Even when we are in a “conversation” we spend more time thinking about what we’ll say next than listening to what the other person is saying. Sort of reminds me of the quote I used last night to finish up the Yoga class from George Bernard Shaw. “The problem with communication is the illusion that it really happened.”

I have been asked how I can maintain perspective and balance in a world of people screaming at each other and hating each other. Actually, I can’t maintain perfect balance, but the answer comes from stillness. Living most of my life having periods of silence with God. I listen. I feel His presence.

T.S. Eliot, in his poem “Burnt Norton” in the Four Quartets, says it beautifully,

At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;

Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,

But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,

Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,

Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,

There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.

I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where.

And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time.

Seek the still point. That is the best advice I can give. In the stillness of the very early morning, relax, let your mind clear, and empty yourself. Much like you cannot put something in a bowl if it is filled. It must be empty to be used. If your mind and soul are full of much idle conversation, there is no room for God to come in. And it’s all about letting God enter in the stillness to help you gain perspective, balance–and to gain insight into what God wants you to be doing in His name. Find that still point and dance with God.

Tags: ,
Posted in Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

Speak Evil of Others

October 4, 2010

In yesterday’s class that I teach, we were looking at James where he says (after the teaching on curbing your tongue), “Do not speak evil of others.” Someone said, “But can you only speak evil about people you know?”

I’m not sure what she meant by that. Could it be that speaking of people you don’t know doesn’t count? I’m not sure. But I answered that it is easier to speak evil of others, precisely because you don’t know them. Although I’ve lived long enough to hear plenty of judging, put-downs, gossip, derogatory comments and the like directed at people the speaker does know.

But the Internet, email and the Web give us instant communications. We can connect with more people more rapidly with more misinformation than at any previous time in history. Therefore the hate emails that get blithely spread from so-called Christians full of untruths and exaggerations passed off as fact designed to get your emotions aroused against certain groups–usually gays or Muslims these days, but could be directed at anyone.

James had an answer to this human condition. It was to tame your tongue. Speak out of mercy, peace, truth, gentle without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. I certainly have long tried to live up to this Christian ideal. I wish I could say I always succeeded.

God, I tame my tongue, help me when I fail.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Living | 2 Comments »

Beyond Hate and Anger

September 30, 2010

Underlying so much of the so-called discussion of messages floating around the Internet and reactions to various people and ideas are hate and anger. Now anger probably leads to hate, because it must eventually manifest itself against someone or something. Anger usually springs up from inside yourself. Causes are individual, but certain general causes accumulate from the individual. Often anger comes from internal feelings of lack of self-worth, or feeling threatened by events, or feelings of fear of others who are different from me, or fear of losing my wealth–or not getting the wealth I feel I deserve.

The generation now in its 50s and entering the 60s has been described as the “me generation” since before 1970. And that’s a lot of what I see. Too many people are still striving for everything that they think they are owed, when in fact, they are owed nothing. Too wrapped up in accumulating things and worried simultaneously about losing what they have and not getting as many things as they desire, they lash out at others who threaten their lifestyle–at least as they see it.

I’m back to Thomas a Kempis in The Imitation of Christ, but you could find similar words in most spiritual writers. “A man is raised up from the earth by two wings–simplicity and purity. There must be simplicity in his intention and purity in his desires. Simplicity leads to God, purity embraces and enjoys Him.”

Only by simplifying your life and striving for purity by focusing on God through Jesus can you deal with all the internal turmoil–the conflicts that lead to hate, anger, fear. I counsel that to so many people I meet these days who are so conflicted by striving and worry. Calm down, breathe, seek God, meditate on His Word. In these you can start toward simplicity and the true peace that God offers.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Living, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

Rush to Judge Others

September 27, 2010

We live in a time, I don’t know, maybe like other times in human history, where people are so quick to judge others. I know Christians who perfectly know the mind of God and can point out exactly who is going to heaven and who isn’t. Of course, for them, the game played is about heaven. I’ll never forget a Mad Magazine cartoon from when I was a kid that talked about the first preacher who moved to Hartford, Conn. (then the capitol of the insurance industry) and sold “fire insurance.”

The book I’m currently studying is “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas a Kempis. This contemplative from the Middle Ages wrote, “If a man would weigh his own deeds fully and rightly, he would find little cause to pass severe judgment on others.” These certainly reflect the voice of Jesus–speck in someone else’s eye, log in yours; he who is without sin cast the first stone.

If you spent more time in your morning prayers reflecting upon where you fall short and asking God for help, you would approach the day with an entirely different attitude than when you, like the Pharisee, begin the day with the prayer, “Thank you God for making me perfect.” When you look inside yourself and see the sin that lurks in both things you do and things you are capable of, you’ll understand why relationship with God through Jesus is key to salvation–not so much from the future hell but from the hell of today.

Why live bitter, resentful, judgmental? Why not live free to love God and love other humans? Throw off the chains of your limited, fearful view of God and enter into relationship with Him.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Christianity, Living | Leave a Comment »

Open Eyes to Dynamics of Life

September 25, 2010

Sorry not to post for a while. I had a thigh muscle pull bad enough to land me for an overnight stay in the hospital followed by a couple of weeks on a narcotic pain killer. While I realize there exists a minor literary tradition of writing on spiritual topics while on drugs, that’s not my style. On top of that, I had a magazine to get out (no rest when you publish monthly), a special project newspaper for a conference coming up next week, and then my long-time boss, mentor and friend passed away last Wednesday. It’s been a month that tries my balance, to say the least.

But a couple of weeks on your back give you time to contemplate. At the same time my wife was reading some of those hate emails that circulate the Internet. Me, I just delete unopened. She? She reads every one, to the bottom, then gets upset. I tell her that a good way to maintain emotional and intellectual balance is to pare out things from your life that unnecessarily cause distress. (There are life events, of course, that confront you that must be met, but that’s another matter.)

Back to my wife’s reading and the subject of my last post–like many people my age, I started meditating in the late 60s. I’ve explored paths, had experiences. I combine practice with reading. The thing that has consistently amazed me during my reading the ancient spiritual masters for 40 years is that they write very little about prayer or meditation techniques. They write about the person. Where do all the passions originate? How do you overcome them? How do you live your life? It’s not a method or a word to memorize. It’s all about how you live, where you focus.

So, I deal with many Christians who have memorized a few verses from the Bible. Some of them, though, when I observe how they live, how they interact with others, what their attitude toward others is, I wonder.

Allow me a metaphor. I am a soccer referee and instructor of referees. I’ve noticed two types of referees. One type is “book smart.” They are dissatisfied with anything less than 95% on any test we give. They know every law or rule and every interpretation–in their head. But, put them on the pitch (field) to actually do refereeing, they fail at any tough contest. Like life, soccer is a dynamic game. It has flows of activity. There are many nuances. Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective or flow of the game that determines what is a foul and what is called. A good referee at this higher level knows the written laws thoroughly. That is only the start. The key to success is to develop a feel for the game, relate to the players, move the game along within the boundaries.

Some Christian traditions have developed a formula: accept Christ + read Bible + attend church religiously = go to heaven. Oh, by the way, judge other people based upon what you’ve read and whether they agree with you. It’s the “know the law” type of religion. Sounds a little like the Pharisees to me.

There is another way, much more ancient than that, which says something like, recognize Jesus, develop a living relationship with God through Jesus, read the Bible to deepen your knowledge and follow the two commandments Jesus gave us–love God, love people. (Love as an action verb, not an emotion.) That’s my tradition. I wish I could do it as well as I can say it.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Living, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »