I’ve been thinking on this subject for many weeks when I ran across this blog from marketer Seth Godin. The bitterness of the local school levy was filled with high emotion, low fact and much, much vilification (making the opponents out to be villains). People are not necessarily evil just because they disagree with you. After several defeats, it finally passed last November–by one vote. It is almost three months after the election and people still are writing letters to the editor about the rich people in their luxurious homes foisting off higher taxes on the poor and elderly. Some even argue against their own economic well being. (One of the most vocal opponents to the levy is a rental unit owner. If the levy never passed, the schools would face massive cuts to state minimum standards, reducing to a very low number people looking to move here, reducing property values, therefore reducing the potential customer base for his rentals and the value of his wealth in real estate. Oh, if life were only logical.)
Godin ponders this psychology in his blog The False Solace of Vilification. Here is a sample:
A flood hits a town and innocent people die and buildings are destroyed. The widows and bereaved families take it out on the insurance adjuster or government official who has come to help.
The economic downturn hits a town hard and some residents attack, quite personally, the hard-working school board members who had nothing to do with the bad news and in fact represent one of the best ways to ultimately recover.
In each case, the person being hated on is precisely the person who can do the most to help. And yet sometimes, we can’t help ourselves. It takes significant emotional maturity to separate the event from the people in proximity to the event, and any marketer or organization that deals with the public needs to embrace the fact that just because you’re close to where the bad thing happened doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
Emotional maturity. Something I’ve been trying to attain for a very long time. Just when I think I’ve achieved balance, something happens and I explode. Fortunately that’s only once every other year or so anymore. But I’m sure we all need to strive for it. I once was in a training session for managers where the instructor put up one of those famous 2×2 matrices. The two axes were good/poor feel for people and good/poor emotional maturity. Research was done which showed that positive reviews of managers by “subordinates” centered around emotional maturity regardless of “feel for people.”
The next time you’re delayed at the airport because of bad weather, don’t take it out on the gate agent. That person has no control and sometimes knows less than you. However, that person can be your best friend in finding another flight. I’ve seen where one didn’t help the person in front of me who had launched a tirade. But I stepped up with a smile and said something like “tough day, isn’t it?” She got me on another flight, and I got home at a reasonable time. My goal–be that way in all my dealings with people.
The more I study the Bible and writings by ancient philosophers (and some more modern ones such as Emerson), the more I realize that the real message is about how to live. What will you do tomorrow when you first meet someone? How will you act? What will you do when you get up? What will you say? How will you act? Will you “live with God” or will you drift along with your emotions?
It’s a journey we’re on. It’s tough. Live with God to get the most out of it.
Tags: Christianity, Ethics, lifestyle
Faith Venture 
February 16, 2010 at 1:28 am |
I found your site via yahoo thanks for the post. I will save it for future reference. Thanks