I buy books according to what catches my interest. I may hear someone talking about it, or see something written about it, but most times, I am attracted for some reason to pick-up the book at a store and impulsively buy it. Ten or more years ago, I probably bought Breakfast at the Victory by James P. Carse in that manner, but never read it. I found the book this morning in a basket of books that once sat by the loveseat, but was moved out for the new carpet to be installed. I started to read it and the first quote hit me perfectly. In my mind, this is one of God’s many blessings. Like when you put on a jacket and find money in the pocket – an unexpected bonus put away from a previous forgetfulness.
Gary is right in saying not to wait for permission. That requires faith in God though; assurance in the fact that we are hearing and following in the way He would have us go. My problem is I have trouble with the follow-thru. I am an ideator, if you have ever taken the Strength Finders. My mind popcorns ideas constantly, but I tend to lose interest in the process unless there is a challenge involved. In this instance also, since kids are not my world, I doubt my ability to connect.
Now, let me tell you my God story in all this. My mind went into what the Gestalt world would call projection. ‘A projector, unaware that she is rejecting others, believes they are rejecting her.’ (paraphrased from Gestalt in Pastoral Care and Counseling – A Holistic Approach by Jeffrey D. Hamilton, D-Min.) I convinced myself this was a bad idea and no one else in the world was the least bit interested. Also, in this process though, I started to read Momentum for Life by Michael Slaughter and attended, as a singer with the school choir, commencement for UTS where he spoke. He used that book as the basis of his message. He told about visioning. He said he had stood in the original Ginghamsburg church asking God for the vision of what he could work towards there. He saw a future church where three-thousand people would attend while standing behind that tiny country church with no parking lot and just a half circle drive.
I asked God for a vision on my future and sat in quiet for a couple mornings. I read Psalm 86 repeatedly, mainly because I have to write a sermon on it for July, I read my devotionals and I wrote in my journal. I talked with my husband and to a few friends, not directly on my “crisis”, just skirting the subject. Then this morning, I picked-up this book and in the first quote, it was like the proverbial light bulb coming on. I didn’t see a vision, but I remembered a truth. I am God’s child and it is mine to be a co-creator with Him. (That is in the Slaughter book as well.) I cannot explain how this verse and my mind work, but I am in awe and so very sure. Of and by the way, I have heard from all the church leaders I contacted and I’ll meet with three of the four of them tomorrow. As a Christian counselor once assured me, “Always look for more than one affirmation from God.” There are always more than we will see.
posted by Darcy
Faith Venture 
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