Mother’s Day Retrospective

I read several blogs about Mother’s Day this weekend. That is a US holiday celebrated on the second Sunday of May–for most of the past 26 years also celebrated by me during a youth soccer tournament. I was referee assignor for the 20th time of the 25-year history of the tournament last year. This year, I have no more affiliation with US Soccer. I “celebrated” at home with my wife and took her out for a light dinner.

My mom has been gone for more than 20 years. She was a very talented individual married to the wrong man who exacerbated her negative feelings about herself. She passed on her insecurities to her four sons. We all had to deal with attempting to overcoming these insecurities all our lives.

On the other hand, I was the oldest, and she taught me to undertake projects beyond my knowledge and experience. Dad was an accountant and insurance salesman. He didn’t know the difference between a regular and Philips screwdriver. He couldn’t use a hammer. His dad was a machinist and manufacturing operations manager. His grandfather was an early electrical engineer and built and flew an airplane in the 1910s. Ability skipped a generation and I had to pick it up the hard way. Mom learned by watching her two older brothers (she was fifth of six kids).

She would get the urge to fix something up. She’d corral me. We refinished the kitchen cabinets, laid tile in a downstairs room, did some switch rewiring, a bunch of painting, tackled some plumbing. I have since tackled many projects that I probably shouldn’t have, but you learn as you go. That’s indirectly what she taught me.

There was no expression of love in our house. The most poignant moment was the day before she died with us both in space suits in the hospital because she got that hospital-generated super virus. It’s the only time she ever said I love you. Me, I’m still handicapped with a semi-Aspergers personality from all that.

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